BIO:
"Ramona Falls is Specific"
(a poem by Scott Poole)
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Ramona Falls is pretty sure they are fairly
close to discovering a way
to predict the future.
Don’t believe me?
Their first album, Intuit, successfully predicted
the past.
The future is an impressive goal for a band from
Portland, Oregon. The only problem
with Ramona Falls is they like to be specific.
That's the problem with prophecy,
the more specific it is, the less likely
it is to be believed.
The more general it is, the more
useless it becomes.
Ramona Falls likes to be specific.
For instance, if Prophet One told you
when you die your head would become
twice its normal size
and sparkle like a giant purple bowling ball
you might not believe Prophet One
and if Prophet Two
said "You'll experience much joy
and much pain before you die,"
you would believe him but find his
information quite useless.
If later, your head is pinched off
in a industrial accident
in a glitter factory, then Prophet One
becomes suddenly a lot more credible.
Ramona Falls isn't afraid to tell you
through its music that you might die
in a rhinoceros goring while wearing
a hello kitty t-shirt ironically.
Ramona Falls isn't afraid to make you
deathly afraid of hello kitty t-shirts.
Like a bed with 700 sheets on it,
each song of Ramona Falls
is a prediction with 700 layers to it.
If you begin kicking the sheets off in
the middle of the night
it will take you so long you will
begin to question the very motives of your dreams.
You don't want to be caught sleeping
while Ramona Falls is predicting
that the steamroller will become
the most popular car of the future.
Slow power will be very popular.
People will erect keyboards and coffee pots
on pine shelving about their steamrollers.
Because you will be able to be accessed
at any time, the slower you are
the more distinct advantage you will have.
If someone car jacks you, they will simply
push you off your steamroller and
you can watch them trying to escape
for several minutes. Then you catch up
and push them off. It will be great fun.
A favorite pastime will be writing
a note or a story and then smashing it
into the pavement. So you will simply
travel on top of words to wherever
you want to go. Highways will be stories.
If you don’t know what to do with yourself
you can simply cut a square from
the top layer of the road, ask a question
and follow the suggestion below.
Ramona Falls is getting a head start
by playing you the music people will
listen to on their steamrollers. The
music of layers. They are pretty sure
they are on the bleeding
edge of this development.
Ramona Falls is your future
already predicted in the past.
Ramona Falls is a fortune
with a cookie on the inside.
You don’t have to crack anything open,
you don’t have to eat a bad meal
to get there.
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