UMBRELLA MAN Comes to Adelaide Fringe

Teuchter Company, rising stars of the Scottish Fringe scene, had planned to present the Australian debut of their show Umbrella Man at the 2019 Adelaide Fringe, but hit a snag on the way over.

'It's all gone wrong,' said Colin Bramwell, writer and performer of the show, as he stepped off the plane. 'I spent years writing a show that I was sure would convince the people of Australia that the Earth is flat. I was very, very sure that it was indeed flat. I had watched all sorts of videos on the internet. It always seemed flat. But on the flight over, I had a lot of time to look out the window, and there's definitely a curve there. I mean, it's undeniable. You can see it. This is a disaster. I'm going to have to rewrite my whole bloody show.'

When our reporter put it to Colin that, in fact, Umbrella Man was more about how grief can make people behave strangely and find comfort in irrational beliefs, the beleaguered but somehow award-winning translator and poet shook his head. 'No it isn't,' he said. 'It's about how the Earth is flat. Except it isn't. I've never been more disappointed in my life. Sod it. I'm going to write a show about dogs. Australians like dogs, don't they?'

At this point, the reporter dug in her heels. 'Using poetry, storytelling and improvised piano to take audiences on a journey to the outer limits of common sense,' she said, 'Umbrella Man is a daft, unique, unmissable piece of Scottish spoken-word theatre. You don't have to write anything new. You're a poet, pianist and performer, Colin.' She put a comforting hand on his shoulder. 'If you don't do Umbrella Man, you'll be letting Disco Turtle Productions down, and they've programmed you at the National Wine Centre of Australia for what is surely the best curated line-up at the entire festival.'

'On that point, remember, Colin you'll already be busy enough performing with Men with Coconuts. Remember Men with Coconuts, Colin? They're Scotland's leading improvisational comedy group, and you play piano for them. Your show is on directly after theirs in the same venue, which is very convenient for reviewers, as they can come and see both shows in the same night with minimal fuss. Plus, you don't have any material on dogs.'

'I can write some!' cried Colin. 'I'll call the show Man's Best Friend, and the twist at the end will be that in real life I have no friends. You're talking to Scotland's greatest dog poet now. Watch me succeed at this.' And he skipped past the Australian Border Force, and out into the baking hot sun.

At the time of writing, Colin was last seen on the corner of Botanic Road and East Terrace. He was dressed in a large dog costume, asking passing Aussies if they could think of a rhyme for 'kennel.' If you have any information on his whereabouts or if you don't please bring your extended family and everyone else you know to the Ferguson Room at The National Wine Centre of Australia at 10pm from the 14th Feb-1stMarch (apart from the 18th and the 23rd), where the search will begin. Together, we can find Colin. #findColin #deportColin #dogs

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