LLOYD FELLOWES – director of the play, 40-55. Artistic, tyrannical, pretentious, cranky, not a “people person” but a bit of a ladies’ man. Thinks everyone is an idiot but him. He’s wrong. Involved with Brooke AND with Poppy.
DOTTY OTLEY – actress, plays housekeeper Mrs. Clackett, 50s. Basically sensible, but prone to flights of melodrama. Her retirement money is wrapped up in this production, so the stakes are high for her. Involved with Gary.
GARY LEJEUNE – actor, plays harried real estate broker Roger, 30s. Pompous and self-absorbed, but also so neurotic he literally can’t finish a sentence. Oversensitive and easily wounded. Has anger management difficulties. Involved with Dotty.
BROOKE ASHTON – actress, plays lingerie-clad tax inspector Vicki, 20s. Gorgeous, but out to lunch. Distracted, unfocused, basically well-meaning but oblivious. She is NOT dumb, but it’s easy to see why someone would think she was. Involved with Lloyd.
FREDERICK DALLAS – actor, plays the dashing and wealthy Philip, 30s. Goodhearted, naïve, deplores physical violence, handsome and knows it, would like to be a Method actor but doesn’t really get it. Currently in the middle of a nasty divorce.
BELINDA BLAIR – actress, plays the charming and wealthy Flavia, 30s. Bright, fun-loving, gossipy optimist, knows everyone’s business. Secret Machiavellian, cast mother and doggedly determined show savior. May harbor a little crush on Frederick.
SELSDON MOWBRAY – actor, plays the rather incompentent Burglar, 60-75. Slightly doddering, alcoholic, half-deaf (when he wants to be), charming old duffer of a stage veteran. In decline, but craftier than he seems.
POPPY NORTON-TAYLOR – stage manager, 30s. Mousy, shy, maybe a little plain. Constantly stressed and harried, along with Tim takes the brunt of Lloyd’s and the actors’ abuse. Tries very, very hard to be good at her job. Involved with Lloyd.
TIM ALLGOOD – stagehand, 18-25. Very young, raw, inexperienced, is absolutely and shamelessly taken advantage of by Lloyd. When not asleep on his feet, performs his duties with almost manic enthusiasm
