RUMORS BY NEIL SIMON - Parker Players Theater Co. Non Equity Auditions

Parker Players Theater Company announces auditions for:

RUMORS

By Neil Simon

Directed by Julie Price

At a large, tastefully-appointed home in the affluent Hudson River community of Sneden’s Landing, New York, the Deputy Mayor of New York has just shot himself.

It’s only a flesh wound but Charlie Brock’s self-inflicted injury sets off a chain reaction of panicked improvisation that sends four well-to-do couples into a full-blown attack of farce.

As the Brocks’ tenth wedding anniversary party gets underway, Charlie lies bleeding in another room… and his wife, Myra, is nowhere in sight. The first guests to arrive—lawyer Ken Gorman and his wife, Chris—quickly realize that before anyone else shows up (or worse, the police), they’ll need to get “the story” straight.

What follows is a rapidly unraveling evening of mounting confusions, miscommunications, whispered cover-ups, physical comedy, and increasingly elaborate lies as each new arrival complicates matters further. Doors slam, alibis crumble, and the truth becomes just inconvenient enough to avoid at all costs.

Fully embracing the style, status, and social codes of the late 1980s (Think Dynasty, Wall Street, Working Girl & Wall Street) Rumors is Neil Simon at his most playfully chaotic: a high-energy ensemble comedy where reputations must be protected, appearances must be maintained, and absolutely nothing goes according to plan.

Parker Players Theater Company invites actors to audition for this wildly entertaining summer production as we continue our commitment to artist-driven, intimate theater in Barrington.

Please fill out and submit
this google form if interested in auditioning. You will receive an email invitation if you are invited to audition in person.

https://forms.gle/mHp17ERCce2U4Mo17

Character Descriptions:

KEN GORMAN

Male, 40s–60s

A successful attorney with a strong sense of propriety and an increasing inability to cope with the absurdity unfolding around him. Ken prides himself on being logical, composed, and rational—but as the evening spirals, so does his grip on reality. Requires strong physical comedy and farcical timing.

CHRIS GORMAN

Female, 40s–50s

Ken’s sharp, stylish wife. Intelligent, socially astute, and far more emotionally flexible than her husband, Chris quickly becomes one of the chief architects of the evening’s cover story. Cool under pressure—until she isn’t.

LENNY GANZ

Male, 40s–60s

An accountant with a tendency toward anxiety and oversharing. Lenny is earnest, good-natured, and completely unequipped for deception. His mounting panic over the situation—and his own physical ailments—make him an ongoing liability to the group’s increasingly fragile cover story.

CLAIRE GANZ

Female, 30s–50s

Lenny’s well-meaning but long-suffering wife. Claire is sympathetic and sincere, but not particularly skilled at maintaining a lie under pressure. Her attempts to be helpful often make matters worse.

ERNIE CUSACK

Male, 40s–60s

Charlie’s therapist. Calm, measured, and accustomed to managing the emotional fallout of others, Ernie initially approaches the situation with professional detachment. That detachment doesn’t last long.

COOKIE CUSACK

Female, 30s–50s

Ernie’s wife and a celebrity cooking show host. Warm, chatty, and currently suffering from severe back spasms, Cookie’s physical discomfort makes discretion—and mobility—nearly impossible. Role requires a lot of physical comedy.

GLENN COOPER

Male, 40s–60s

A wealthy stockbroker who enjoys status, success, and being in control. Glenn believes he’s the smartest person in the room and is deeply invested in keeping things looking respectable. His confidence begins to crumble as the lies grow more elaborate.

CASSIE COOPER

This role is cast

Female, 30s–50s

Glenn’s glamorous, attention-loving wife. Stylish, charming, and more than a little theatrical, Cassie enjoys being the center of attention—until the evening’s events demand something more substantial. Prone to dramatic reactions.

OFFICER PUDNEY

Male, 20s–50s

A polite but persistent police officer investigating reports of a disturbance. Professional and observant, Pudney’s presence raises the stakes considerably for everyone involved.

OFFICER WELCH

Male or Female, 20s–50s

Pudney’s partner. Equally professional and inquisitive, Welch is determined to get to the truth—despite the increasingly convoluted explanations offered by the party guests.

Stipend: $200A

Audition Dates:

Sunday March 29th 5:00 – 7:30 PM

Monday March 30th 6:30 – 8:30 PM

Callbacks

Wednesday April 1 6:30 – 9:30 PM

Rehearsal Schedule:

First Read-Through –Monday May 18 6:30 – 9:00 PM

Rehearsal Schedule:

May 18 – July 9

Sundays 6:00 – 9:00

Monday, Wednesday, Thursday 6:30 – 9:39 PM

NO REHEARSALS:

Sunday May 24, Monday May 25 (Memorial Day Wknd) Thursday July 2nd

Tech:

July 12 – July 16

6:30 – 10:00

Performances (11 performances)

Opening Night Friday July 17

July 17, 18, 23, 24, 25, 30, 31 Aug 1 @ 7:30 PM (Th, F, Sat)

July 19, 26, Aug 2 @ 2:00 PM (Sunday)