Student Blog: 10 Plays That Are Better Than Lysistrata

Maybe not "10 Plays"... maybe it's just "Don't Do Lysistrata Because There Are Plenttyyy of Other Plays That Empower Women If That's What You Were Going For."

Can I be honest right now? The spacebar on my keyboard keeps getting stuck. It's really annoying and makes writing unnecessarily difficult. Not only is my title misleading, but my spacebar is sticky!

"Macy, what does your spacebar have to do with Lysistrata or Plays or 10"

Imagine this..

Someone says, "We are doing a show!"

You respond, "Hooray! We are so appreciative."

"I know!"

"What show are we doing?!"

"We are doing Lysistrata"

(if you like Lysistrata, pretend like you don't just for the sake of this blog. Thank you.)

So you're like:

"What ever am I going to do?!"

*ding! A lightbulb explodes in your face (Not a glass lightbulb. This lightbulb is made of confetti, so an exploding lightbulb is a GOOD thing.*

"I have an idea," you say,

"I am going to write a Newer, Cooler, and Better play than Lysistrata. We will perform my Newer, Cooler, and Better play instead."

OH the adrenaline rush.

Which idea are you going to choose- the one with a few literary devices or the one with A Lot Of Literary Devices? Will people know that the main character is you, and the mom character is your mom? Your mom can NOT read this. Dad can't either. If mom and/or dad don't like your play, you will turn into an inanimate object (probably?) and never write again (definitely) . Something about your parents eyes fixed on the last page, heads softly nodding, and wide smile announcing, "I like it...!?" Which, you don't know what they're supposed to say!...or do? It would be kinda weird if they cried and you don't want them to ask if the main character is you and your mom already knows that she is Mom. So maybe, "I like it!" is great.

Thankfully, you thought ahead and know not to share the first draft of your play with your parents. It's awkward. And you are on a time crunch to write a Newer, Cooler, and Better play than Lysistrata.

Now, you have made it from that place where you were to this place where you are. Amidst this new place is your laptop, which will be used to write this play about female empowerment and also war and also zoom fatigue and also weight lifting. You open the laptop to write. Great job! They say beginning is the hardest part! This is how you write:

1. TITLE must always come first. It can change later. It is specifically vague.

2. FONT depends on your mood. If you used MLA format for high school papers, Times New Romans because at this point you're attached. If you like movies, Courier New because you either have written or want to write a screenplay. If you write poetry on your notes app at 3 in the morning, Ariel because it's the default and you don't have time for formatting when you're in your feels.

3. WRITE every thought you have until you are in "artistic flow," which is the state in which A Writer is Ready to Write.

TITLE. Check.

FONT. Check.

WRITE.Fcheuck.

Your spacebar.It's stuck. Youkeep. Ugh. Pressingthespacebar but. UGHH. Itwon't make a spacebetween thewords. AHH. full force onthe spacebar. it lookslike you'retrying tokill a big bug on thekey boaRD. NOWCAPSLOCKISSTUCK.

You feel deep rage towards the laptop, and also your copy of Poetics by Aristotle that's propped proudly on the bookshelf behind your desk so people can see it in Zoom meetings and think, "wow they're a real playwright. I bet they write plays that are New, Cool, and Better."

You were going to write at least 10 Plays That Are Better Than Lysastrata.

But your spacebar.

ANDYOUR CAPSLOCK.

Lysistrata lives to see another day.

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