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Wonkette Exclusive: I Had SEX with LARRY CRAIG

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PalJoey
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Is this Wonkette? Or Advocate Men?

===

EXCLUSIVE: "I Had Sex with Larry Craig!"

Would you let this man screw your senator?We’ve been having loads of fun with gay restroom goblin Larry Craig over the past couple of months, haven’t we? What we’ve been missing, though, is an on-the-record account from a source willing to come forward and tell what it’s like to have an actual romantic liaison with the Idaho Republican. Meet David Phillips, a local IT geek and bear-about-town.

Phillips was recently in a bar minding his own business when he heard Craig’s voice on the television. “I went pale and nearly vomited,” Phillips says. It was the man he remembered from one of his creepiest sexual encounters twenty years earlier. “After a truncated meal I went back to my hotel room and began unwinding and jotting down the memories that the voice had opened. I recalled The Follies, the furtive groping and pawing there, the odd following of this man in my car….. Crap!”

Phillips’ embarrassing, Santorum-laced tale follows after the jump.

It was late in the Spring of 1987, and Phillips was a graduate student at George Mason University. “One of my favorite hangouts was The Follies,” Phillips explains, referring to the notorious and now-closed go-go boy bar La Cage aux Follies on Capitol Hill. “There were so many closeted neocons who trolled for****and ass there, particularly****and ass on younger men: Terry Dolan, Jon Hinson, and a bunch of other men who seemed to run in a close and secretive group. I had sex with some of them at The Follies, and I even went home with a couple of them — at different times, at least — based on smooth talk and their attraction to a 20-something geek. One of them I would later recognize as Larry Craig.”

One night, Phillips continues, “I followed [Craig] from The Follies to a Capitol Hill neighborhood, parking on the street no telling how far from his house. We walked up the alley and through the back door of a house, with him repeating several times, ‘You were never here. You don’t know me. Right?’ and me responding, ‘Right!’ in boyish submission. As we tiptoed from the back door to the stairs to the upper floor, as if somebody else was home, he turned to grope my crotch and brush my face with his hand.” The house’s decor led Phillips to believe that this was a married man: “The bric-a-brac with family pictures didn’t scream ‘old queen’ to me; it announced a woman’s influence. Still, we made our way upstairs.

“When we got to what reminded me of a rarely used guest room, he stripped me down, and the man’s hands and mouth were all over me. He kept his pants on, though, while laying me back on the bed to suck my cock. Then, he stripped naked and asked me to ...

[rest of article at link]
EXCLUSIVE: I Had SEX with LARRY CRAIG
Updated On: 10/25/07 at 09:32 PM
MargoChanning
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re: Wonkette Exclusive: I Had SEX with LARRY CRAIG

David the Bear and Larry the Toe-Tapper

"What a story........ everything but the bloodhounds snappin' at her rear end." -- Birdie [http://margochanning.broadwayworld.com/] "The Devil Be Hittin' Me" -- Whitney
Updated On: 10/25/07 at 11:58 PM
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ShbrtAlley44
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Now, that's a vaudeville act if ever I heard of one.
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CATSNYrevival
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Yikes. That's all...
FindingNamo
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“The bric-a-brac with family pictures didn’t scream ‘old queen’ to me..."

Ah, but the phrase "bric-a-brac" does, David T. Bear.
Can you hear me now? Twitter: @NamoInExile
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PalJoey
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The story is so detailed it seems to ring true, but I never pegged Larry Craig for a bear chaser. I guess as a "20-something geek," David T. Bear cut a different figure.
Phyllis Rogers Stone
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Well, it was twenty years ago.
Phyllis Rogers Stone
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Well, it was twenty years ago, so David would have been a cub at best.
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doodlenyc
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"but I never pegged Larry Craig for a bear chaser."

I imagined that Craig preferred to get pegged.
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TheatreDiva90016
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“The bric-a-brac with family pictures didn’t scream ‘old queen’ to me..."

Ah, but the phrase "bric-a-brac" does, David T. Bear.




Okay, that made me scream...
"TheatreDiva90016 - another good reason to frequent these boards less."<<>> “I hesitate to give this line of discussion the validation it so desperately craves by perpetuating it, but the light from logic is getting further and further away with your every successive post.” <<>> -whatever2
FindingNamo
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I made you scream on your birthday! Happy, happy.
Can you hear me now? Twitter: @NamoInExile
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TheatreDiva90016
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Yes!

It actually scared the gardeners.
"TheatreDiva90016 - another good reason to frequent these boards less."<<>> “I hesitate to give this line of discussion the validation it so desperately craves by perpetuating it, but the light from logic is getting further and further away with your every successive post.” <<>> -whatever2
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PalJoey
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Really, dear. I would have thought they'd be used to it by now.
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folkyboy
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David T. Bear is hot :P
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MatthewAddison
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X#14
Posted: 10/26/07 at 10:03pm
Updated On: 9/5/08 at 10:03 PM
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UglyBetty
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Anybody ever notice that when we LARRY the HOMO went on about how he "is not gay, never have been gay" he sounded like Pigglet from Winnie The Pooh?