Is It Time To Let Go....?

RetroBoy
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Is It Time To Let Go....?#1
Posted: 10/23/07 at 9:11am
I've been dating this guy for a couple of months now. We work together but no one knows about us because he is on the "d/l" (downlow).

I've gone "out of my way" for this guy. I'm always available to him when he wants to get together. If we are not working on the same night I always send him a nice text message just before I know he's going to start his shift wishing him a good night at work.

I always make it a point to reach out to him. I've even made a CD for him of songs that I felt best expressed the feelings I have for him.

Lately things haven't been "quite right". Yesterday morning he stopped by and he really didn't have much to say. I asked what was wrong. He of course said nothing. Last Saturday we worked together and we took a break together and he was quite. When he takes a break with other co-workers he's usually full of conversation.

Last night he worked but I didn't. I decided not to text message or call just to test to see if he would seek me out. Nothing. No text message and no phone call.

This is getting frustrating because he runs hot and cold. One week he's receptive the other he's aloof.

Am I giving too much of myself? Should I just let this go? I really like him...alot but I'm just at a loss of what I should do.

I normally don't spill my personal stuff here on this board but I really want to know what you guys think and/or would do.
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re: Is It Time To Let Go....?#2
Posted: 10/23/07 at 9:16am
Let this be your rule of thumb when dating guys...

Actions speak louder than words.

I would let it go.
"Jaws is the Citizen Kane of movies."
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RetroBoy
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re: Is It Time To Let Go....?#2
Posted: 10/23/07 at 9:23am
You know best, I keep telling myself this and then I wind up trying to justify his behavior. I'm in denial. Deep down I know I have to let this go. I don't have to see him until Saturday, which is the night we're scheduled to work together. With his track record I'd bet my year's salary he won't bother to call me at all for the rest of the week.
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re: Is It Time To Let Go....?#3
Posted: 10/23/07 at 9:26am
You're not really in denial, ReBo, because you recognize what you need to do. You're just not quite ready to do it. But B12B is right - let it go.
Cheyenne Jackson tickled me. AFTER ordering SoMMS a drink but NOT tickling him, and hanging out with Girly in his dressing room (where he DIDN'T tickle her) but BEFORE we got married. To others. And then he tweeted Boobs. He also tweeted he's good friends with some chick on "The Voice" who just happens to be good friends with Tink's ex. And I'm still married. Oh, and this just in: "Pettiness, spite, malice ....Such ugly emotions... So sad." - After Eight, talking about MEEEEEEEE!!! I'm so honored! :-)
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re: Is It Time To Let Go....?#4
Posted: 10/23/07 at 9:41am
Yep, from the guy who REALLY does know ... bah, bye!
( I just cut one of "them" loose last week.)
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is it time to let go....?#5
Posted: 10/23/07 at 9:48am
depends, has he or she stopped breathing? if not you need to squeeze tighter.
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is it time to let go....?#6
Posted: 10/23/07 at 9:50am
papa knows best.

is it time to let go....?

Actually, It's tough when you have strong feelings for someone. I don't think you're in denial.

Logic always seems to get trampled by emotion. Everyone has trouble with that.

It's not an easy choice to make, but it's what's best for you. Try to remember that. You'll be stronger and "less messed up" from it, if you can listen to your head, not your heart.

...and trust me... when it's "right," you'll know it. You won't have to worry about it or struggle with it, or doubt it. Everything from both "interested parties" will come easily and naturally.

So says "Dear Flabby."

is it time to let go....?
"Jaws is the Citizen Kane of movies."
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RetroBoy
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is it time to let go....?#7
Posted: 10/23/07 at 9:54am
Thank you "Dear Flabby".

And papa thanks for the laugh 'cuz I definitely needed that! :)
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is it time to let go....?#8
Posted: 10/23/07 at 9:58am
Not only should you move on, but you should be sure to let slip about how you're dating this super hot new guy.

j/k, unless it would work.

nah, j/k, period.
....but the world goes 'round
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is it time to let go....?#9
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:00am
ewww the DL, that's so skanky
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is it time to let go....?#10
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:00am
This is for him ReBo..NOT you !!!!

is it time to let go....?
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson
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is it time to let go....?#11
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:01am
And here goes "Dear Blabby":

It's always time to let go when the pain is greater than the pleasure. Sounds like you're there.

You say he's on the down low but you don't say if he's married-on-the-down-low or just closeted.

While I respect anyone's individual process of coming out, if his actions are keeping him from being 100% present with you--and if he is unwilling or unable to come to the table with a full and open heart--then, yes, it's time to let go. Doesn't sound like he's being present with you.

Tell him he gets one more f*ck on one specific date and then it's over. For good. No more f*ck buddies, no more friends. If he shows up that night, show him what's he's gonna be missing. If he doesn't show up, you're best rid of him because his hot-and-cold will never change.

Remember: they NEVER change...unless they change themselves.
Updated On: 10/23/07 at 10:01 AM
RetroBoy
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is it time to let go....?#12
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:10am
Well I guess it takes one to know one doesn't it Liverska--- pool
RetroBoy
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is it time to let go....?#13
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:19am
PJ - - Thanks for your taking the time to give me your advice. You're right, he's not being 100% present with me. I feel he's not willing and able to come to the table with a full and open heart.

I tried ending this a month ago. I went so far as to change my phone number. I didn't hear from him for a good two weeks (because he didn't have my new number) and as fate would have it we weren't scheduled to work that much during that period so I didn't see him at all. Then about two weeks later he calls me. He got my number from my supervisor who didn't know she wasn't supposed to give it to him.

At that point I thought if he went out of his way to get my phone number then he really did care, but now it's back to the same old sh!t. Now I'm sitting here wondering why he even bothered in the first place.

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is it time to let go....?#14
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:24am
Passive/Agressive men seem to be in abundance these days.
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is it time to let go....?#15
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:27am
They come in all genders, SOMMS.
Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson
RetroBoy
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is it time to let go....?#16
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:27am
Is it right to want to kick the living sh!t out of him?

No, no I know this is not right. It goes against all my Buddhist principles.

But somehow I can't help but think it.
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is it time to let go....?#17
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:28am
It may not be right, but it's normal.
Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson
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is it time to let go....?#18
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:37am
And therapuetic
....but the world goes 'round
RetroBoy
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is it time to let go....?#19
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:42am
Boobs, you always come through with the most clever and witty images! I love that image and the fact that the box that houses the rope reads: "SUGGESTIONS". Love you for that pic, amongst other things! Mwah!
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is it time to let go....?#20
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:49am
best said it best.

listen to his actions and not so much to his words.

Click on my profile and watch Chita Rivera "Put On A Happy Face"

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is it time to let go....?#21
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:53am
ReBo...always here for you.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson
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is it time to let go....?#22
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:54am
...'cause guys will tell you ANYTHING you want to hear.

But the ACTIONS are the truth.

If you follow my friendly advice, you'll be able to spot insincerity a lot more easily... and sooner. And the longer you linger, the harder it is to get out of it.

So says "Dear Flabby" again.
"Jaws is the Citizen Kane of movies."
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RetroBoy
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is it time to let go....?#23
Posted: 10/23/07 at 10:59am
I must admit that at first I was absolutely TERRIFIED about posting this thread for fear of getting back alot of snarky, negative comments. I now breathe a sigh of relief because I'm touched by those who have taken the time to really give me some heartfelt advice. You guys are truly awesome.

I was really beginning to have feelings of self-doubt and insecurity over all of this, that maybe there was something wrong with me.
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is it time to let go....?#24
Posted: 10/23/07 at 11:04am
I was really beginning to have feelings of self-doubt and insecurity over all of this, that maybe there was something wrong with me.

...This is how you end up "messed up."

You think it's YOU. And it's a no-win situation.

The problem is that you wish he wouldn't act the way he does. But you have no control over how anybody else acts.

You only (hopefully) have control over your own actions. That's something you CAN change. You can decide to stick around, or to move on.

But you can't change the other person. That's what you have to come to grips with.

Make your decisions based on the current situation as you see it, not how you "hope it might be" in the future. That's where you'll get into trouble.

So many romantics in the world! Try not to be a "hopeless" one.
"Jaws is the Citizen Kane of movies."
blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22
Updated On: 10/23/07 at 11:04 AM