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appropriate to send a card?

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AbbaRabbit
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appropriate to send a card?#1
Posted: 8/21/07 at 11:46pm
my friend's girlfriend lost her father this past weekend. i'm not that close with her (i see her maybe once a week since my friend lives next door and she's there alot) and i dont know her family, but i really feel bad that she lost her father. she's only 16 and that's kind of a rough age anyways without something like this happening.

would it be appropriate to either give her a card next time i see her nextdoor, or to give matt a card to give to her from me?
i'm not sure when i'm going to see her next since she'll probably want to be with her family for a while.
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Updated On: 8/21/07 at 11:46 PM
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AnnaK<3LMIP
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re: appropriate to send a card?#2
Posted: 8/21/07 at 11:52pm
Well, a teacher from the school that my mummy teaches at had a husband who died this summer. My mother was not close enough to either of them to feel as though it were appropriate to attend the funeral, but she did send a lovely card. The woman called about 2 weeks later with a very heart-felt thank you. She says it's nice to know that others were thinking about her and her family at such a time. Small things like cards can put a smile even to the face of someone who is going through something horrific, apparantly.

If that helps any re: appropriate to send a card?
I mean, Denzel Washington? Gun to my head..of course.
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AbbaRabbit
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re: appropriate to send a card?#2
Posted: 8/21/07 at 11:53pm
that's how i feel... like i'm not close enough go her to go to the funeral but i still want to do *something*
Less is more
Ugly is beautiful
"My brother plays a drag queen... and I'm surprised he looks as good as he does in drag." - Adam Rapp

"thanks, abba. now i'll forever have an image of you as a tattoed hardcore straightedge grrl savaging people in the mosh pit." - papalovesmambo

"Yeah Abba. All the filthy crap you spew out there on those boards. I for one, am equally shocked. :-P" - AnnaK
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AnnaK<3LMIP
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re: appropriate to send a card?#3
Posted: 8/21/07 at 11:57pm
Maybe you could be more comfortable sending flowers if you're not comfortable with a card?
I mean, Denzel Washington? Gun to my head..of course.
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AbbaRabbit
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re: appropriate to send a card?#4
Posted: 8/22/07 at 12:09am
flowers might be nice too.

or if i could find a card that said the right thging. i never know what to write in sympathy cards.
Less is more
Ugly is beautiful
"My brother plays a drag queen... and I'm surprised he looks as good as he does in drag." - Adam Rapp

"thanks, abba. now i'll forever have an image of you as a tattoed hardcore straightedge grrl savaging people in the mosh pit." - papalovesmambo

"Yeah Abba. All the filthy crap you spew out there on those boards. I for one, am equally shocked. :-P" - AnnaK
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re: appropriate to send a card?#5
Posted: 8/22/07 at 12:12am
Send a basket of food.

That always goes over well.
"TheatreDiva90016 - another good reason to frequent these boards less."<<>> I hesitate to give this line of discussion the validation it so desperately craves by perpetuating it, but the light from logic is getting further and further away with your every successive post. <<>> -whatever2
COOOOLkid
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re: appropriate to send a card?#6
Posted: 8/22/07 at 12:13am
I'm sure if I were her, I'd love to receive cards/flowers. I can hardly believe that anyone would be offended or feel awkward by receiving a card from someone they don't really know.
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Jilani
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re: appropriate to send a card?#7
Posted: 8/22/07 at 12:20am
From personal experience, I can say absolutely send a card. It doesn't have to say anything particularly profound or original; it's the thought that counts. Every card or flower arrangement people send has a cumulative comforting effect; it doesn't matter that you aren't particularly close to her, I think she will appreciate it regardless.
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re: appropriate to send a card?#8
Posted: 8/22/07 at 12:23am
In a case like this, don't worry about what's "appropriate." Just do what you feel is right and what's in your heart.
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re: appropriate to send a card?#9
Posted: 8/22/07 at 12:25am
thanks for the input.
i think i will go to trader joes tomarrow and get some flowers, and look at the cards to pick one out.

when my grandfather passed away in march, someone sent us an edible arrangement and that was great, but i can't affourd to send her that.
Less is more
Ugly is beautiful
"My brother plays a drag queen... and I'm surprised he looks as good as he does in drag." - Adam Rapp

"thanks, abba. now i'll forever have an image of you as a tattoed hardcore straightedge grrl savaging people in the mosh pit." - papalovesmambo

"Yeah Abba. All the filthy crap you spew out there on those boards. I for one, am equally shocked. :-P" - AnnaK
blueroses
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re: appropriate to send a card?#10
Posted: 8/22/07 at 8:45am
A simple card will do, Abba. Definitely send it. She'll appreciate all of the sympathy.
Updated On: 8/22/07 at 08:45 AM
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re: appropriate to send a card?#11
Posted: 8/22/07 at 9:04am
My dad passed away out of town and I was away for over a month taking care of things. I never heard from anybody back home and I assumed it was because no one I knew had actually known my dad. When I got home I had a ton of mail waiting for me and in that mail was about 50 cards - many from people I only had a passing acquaintance with. It was WONDERFUL knowing that these people cared enough to send a card. So please - go ahead and send the card. It will be greatly appreciated and you don't really need to do the flowers as well.
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re: appropriate to send a card?#12
Posted: 8/22/07 at 9:30am
Your concern is very sweet. Please do send a card - just let her know you are thinking about her - it will help so much.
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re: appropriate to send a card?#13
Posted: 8/22/07 at 10:03am
Definitely send the card. It will mean so much to that girl to know that people care, even ones she hardly knows.
Beauty breaks in everywhere.
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re: appropriate to send a card?#14
Posted: 8/22/07 at 10:41am
mail a card. They are appreciated...definately mail it, don't just hand it to her, or to your friend to give it to her. And make it to the entire family, ie like "Jan Brady and Family"
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re: appropriate to send a card?#15
Posted: 8/22/07 at 10:55am
A card is the best way to let someone know you care...no really.

Flowers and food are lovely, but can be overwhelming during such a difficult time...so many people send them and they get wasted. That is why so many announcements state "in lieu of flowers..."

If there are donations being made in his honor, you can consider that as well.
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re: appropriate to send a card?#16
Posted: 8/22/07 at 12:35pm
Didn't we just go through this a couple of weeks ago?
Abba, why would it be INappropriate? It's not as if you were an ex, or bastard child or someone who has done this family wrong in some way. Those circumstances might make it a bit uncomfortable. But it is NEVER inappropriate to send a sympathy card no matter how little you knew someone. Common sense? Hello?
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