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Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Mr Roxy
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/17/03
#0Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 9:28am
Probably a tie between Metro & an offering by none other than Andy Warhol called "Man In The Moon" All I remember was it had a midget, Monique Van Voorhen & it was amaturish beyond belief. It played what is now the Helen Hayes & I might still have the program. God it was awful
I just thought of another dog I saw. Dr Selavy's Magic Theater. All I remeber about it was a 2 by 4 suspended from the ceiling & a voice intoning " The 1 st days treatment" whereupon the 2 by 4 , suspended by a rope dropped to the floor with a thud. This was repeated for every day. After seeing this monstrosity, you were ready to be committed to an insane asylum
Poster Emeritus
Updated On: 12/5/04 at 09:28 AM
#1re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 11:00amWithout question or even close competition, Madonna's performance in David Mamet's "Speed the Plow." Worse than any community theater or high school performance I've ever seen. To see a performance of this towering ineptitude on Broadway was mind-boggling.
Gothampc
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/20/03
#2re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 11:07amBilly, I stopped taking Frank Rich seriously as a theater critic when he gave her a kind review.
If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
Corine2
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/14/03
#3re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 11:09am
Jackie Mason's Musical:
Prymate
Boobs The Musical
I can't choose. They were all a three way tie.
#4re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 11:11amThe worst piece of professional theater that I have ever seen was The Immigrant. It wasn't even that bad, it was just....not very good.
Matt_G
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/1/04
#5re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 11:12amBKLYN
"Noah, someday we'll talk again. But there's things we'll never say. That sorrow deep inside you. It inside me, too. And it never go away. You be okay. You'll learn how to lose things..."
Broadway Matt
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/17/03
#6re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 11:13amno question- I saw the "adult" Alice In Wonderland that took Off-Broadway by storm early this year. It was said by many to be the worst thing on a NY stage in years. I don't disagree.
"The last train out of any station will not be full of nice guys." - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
"I wash my face, then drink beer, then I weep. Say a prayer and induce insincere self-abuse, till I'm fast asleep"- In Trousers
Corine2
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/14/03
#7re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 11:16am
Oh Matt:
I was not crazy about Bklyn either but Ramona Keller was so good.
Have you seen Jackie Mason's Musical?
I could not stop starring. It was a train wreck.
Bklyn at least had Ramona.
Oh. I forgot a few more:
Birdy's Bachlorette Party (disgusting)
Updated On: 12/5/04 at 11:16 AM
Matt_G
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/1/04
#8re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 11:17amYes, Ramona Keller is AMAZING. She is just a brilliant performer. And I didn't see the Jackie Mason show, but I did hear the music. Oy.
"Noah, someday we'll talk again. But there's things we'll never say. That sorrow deep inside you. It inside me, too. And it never go away. You be okay. You'll learn how to lose things..."
#9re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 11:18amGotham--I had the same reaction to Rich after that Madonna review. For a "class" critic, Rich was quite the star-****er. Never saw Liz Taylor in "The Little Foxes," but always suspected something of the same thing was operating in Rich's rave.
Corine2
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/14/03
#10re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 11:22am
That musical made (Jackie Mason's) made me embarrassed to be part of the same tribe.
He was so offensive. I wanted to throw up.
Really a disgusting way to spend Thanksgiving last year.
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
#11re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 11:46amA hideous play a few years ago called The Swan and of course, Into the Light.
#12re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 12:28pm
A musical called "Liberation" in Chicago. It was horrid.
I high school production of "Starmites" that has forever tainted any good opinion I could ever have about that show. I don't see how people could like it.
My JLT understudy (I think it's a good thing I forgot her name...but I wouldn't have posted it...I'm sure she's a great girl) from "Urinetown" was VERY under-rehearsed and it made the whole show an Ick Fest.
"TBFO" is still up there on my Ick List.
Variations on a Theme blog: http://panekattack.blogspot.com/
#13re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 12:32pmI have only seen one show that i didn't like, and i didn't think it was that bad, it was just... crapish: Aida
"Picture "The View," with the wisecracking, sympathetic sweethearts of that ABC television show replaced by a panel of embittered, suffering or enraged Arab women" -the Times review of Black Eyed
LilElphaba
Broadway Star Joined: 10/20/04
#14re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 12:33pm
Michael Jackson
Nuff said
I LOVE SHOSHANA BEAN.
#15re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 12:34pm
lol 
"Picture "The View," with the wisecracking, sympathetic sweethearts of that ABC television show replaced by a panel of embittered, suffering or enraged Arab women" -the Times review of Black Eyed
Mamie
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/26/04
#16re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 12:43pm
A version of "The Miracle Worker" staged by Arena Stage in DC a couple of years ago. They went so overboard in being politically correct that they completely lost the story.
Of course the real Helen Keller was from a very conservative Southern family in the late 1800's. (That tells you a lot right there.) This Helen was played by an incredible actress who really was deaf. This worked well for the part. However, she was also black and a dwarf. The father in the family was white (in fact, it was Fred Grandy - 'Gopher' from Love Boat) while the mother was Hispanic. To round it out, the brother was Asian. The play was performed at an arena (round) stage and signers were placed at all 4 corners. They not only signed the show, but they also played the part of the voices in Annie Sullivan's head. For this reason they stood upright on the stage, thus blocking the audience's view of many of the performers.
It was a very noble effort - but it ended up being a terrible case of overkill. You were so confused and distracted by all these different characters and the signers on stage that you forgot this was supposed to be "The Miracle Worker".
I left at intermission - terribly disappointed.
www.thebreastcancersite.com
A click for life.
mamie4 5/14/03
A click for life.
mamie4 5/14/03
#17re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 12:45pm"A Doll's Life"
"Smart! And into all those exotic mystiques -- The Kama Sutra and Chinese techniques. I hear she knows more than seventy-five. Call me tomorrow if you're still alive!"
#18re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 12:59pmNotre Dame de Paris
"What the hell happened to you? You look like a Make-A-Wish Kid. You know, I just knew you were gonna bring shame on this new family of ours, and it just figures you had to go make yourself over into some heroin-shootin skate board chic on the only day E! could interview you!" - Cherry Cherry, on her daughter Mary Cherry
broadwaystar2b
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/28/04
#19re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 1:09pm
The Hillbilly Hoedown
not in NYC but after the 1st number of that show I wanted to slit my wrists
FabalaCohen
Broadway Star Joined: 10/30/04
#20re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 1:12pmTitanic
"During this performance, please feel free to let your cell phones and pagers ring willy-nilly. However, do remember that there are heavily-armed knights on stage and you might well be dragged up and impaled."
(Pre-curtain announcement at the new Broadway musical Monty Python's Spamalot)
lostwallflower
Leading Actor Joined: 2/20/04
#21re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 1:39pm
Jewel performing at Broadway Under The Stars (2 years ago?)
"I'm a cuber, I'm a cuber, I'm a cuber, I'm a cuber, I'm a cuber, I'm a cuber. Please don't take me to the pickle farm."- Brak
#22re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 1:45pm
A school production of Camelot that turned me off to anything involving Arthur and Lancelot ever again 
Broadway Star Joined: 12/31/69
#23re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 1:46pm
A girl who was eponine in a high school production of les mis. everyone else was superb, but that girl's voice made me want to smack her mother...it was that bad.
unrelated, up there on the list is the taye/ idina article in the nypost. it's disgusting.
millie_dillmount
Broadway Legend Joined: 4/22/04
#24re: Worst Thing You Have Ever Seen
Posted: 12/5/04 at 2:23pm
You took my answer, Lil Elphaba!
I sat through the first act of Seussical in balcony seats (that I won...you think that if you win something, you could get better ORCH seats, especially since there were so many left), and everything was so small.
"We like to snark around here. Sometimes we actually talk about theater...but we try not to let that get in our way." - dramamama611
