We HAVE to make a change around here.

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jrb_actor
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We HAVE to make a change around here.#0
Posted: 7/13/04 at 2:35pm
Things are not good on this board right now. Things are, in fact, rather terrible. What used to be a happy, fun place to discuss theatre and various other interests and debates has become a war zone. Many of the brightest people who helped to create this community are missing. They (and many new folks) are either staying far away until things cool down and return to the old board, or they have left for good. And, who can blame them? Who really wants to come onto a board to read fight after fight?

I'm guilty of this. Almost everyone on this board has become guilty of this. There is no need to point fingers. There is only need to stop and think and decide how you really want things to be. What kind of a community do you want? Do you want a community that plays together despite our differences and various levels of intellect? Or do you want a board where people are afraid to speak their mind? Afraid to play? Afraid to debate issues that we are passionate about on friendly terms?

There are two (maybe more) groups of people on this board right now who are at war with each other. There is the group of people who are playful and likely younger. There is the group of people who are more serious and likely older. This is how I see the groups. You may see them broken down in different ways. The point is these two groups are vehemently at odds with one another. This has to stop.

I have seen and agreed with the points of view of both groups. I have also disagreed very strongly with both groups. I have been guilty myself of engaging in the very behavior that both groups are guilty of. And, the bottom line is: THE NEGATIVITY HAS TO STOP. If you feel that someone has made an ignorant comment--KINDLY educate them as to another pov. If you disagree with a person on an issue--present your pov as passionately as you like, but do so with RESPECT. Do not insult, chastize, belittle, or let things get personal. Seriously think before you post or chat. And, if you decide that you must get nasty with someone--do it in a PM. Again, I was guilty of these things just this week. I refuse to behave this way any longer.

Yes, it is annoying that certain shows get 50 threads. Yes, some threads are trivial. But, you just have to avoid those threads or threads started by people you wish to avoid. If you have to--use the blocking option. Do not continue to let this board be a place where you can vent your daily frustrations and negativity, using various people as your punching bag.

We just need to be aware of when we are crossing the line with people. I certainly wouldn't want people to be afraid to critique or debate on here. But, I, personally, do not wish to see all of this negativity and hurt being thrown about. It has to stop. Otherwise, this board will become something so beneath the fantastic place it has been and has the potential to be.

If you want to be nasty, please join the OTHER message board. Sadly, some people have left this board to join that board as it has become the lesser of two evils. Now THAT is saying something.

Discuss.
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spiderdj82
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re: We HAVE to make a change around here.#1
Posted: 7/13/04 at 2:42pm
I agree JRB. when I joined the board a couple of months ago, one of my first posts I got attacked for stating my opinion. To tell you the truth, I almost didn't come back.......but I sucked it up and kept on posting. Now, it's cool, but seriously folks, people should not get attacked for their opinions (unless really called for it). Now, I know a lot of these "arguments" are for pure fun which is awesome. But, spread the love my friends.......spread the love.
"They're eating her and then they're going to eat me. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!" -Troll 2
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re: We HAVE to make a change around here.#2
Posted: 7/13/04 at 2:43pm
Shut up.
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re: We HAVE to make a change around here.#3
Posted: 7/13/04 at 2:47pm
You stole my line Sammy...except that I was going to put a smiley face after it.
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re: We HAVE to make a change around here.#4
Posted: 7/13/04 at 2:50pm
Thank you for pointing a finger to yourselves, Maggie and MammaMiaSammy.

I agree with you COMPLETELY, jrb!
CCM '10!
Updated On: 7/13/04 at 02:50 PM
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re: We HAVE to make a change around here.#5
Posted: 7/13/04 at 2:50pm
Respectfully, this thread is kind of negative, don't you think? That's just my opinion, though.
PEACE.
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re: We HAVE to make a change around here.#6
Posted: 7/13/04 at 2:52pm
You are stupid.
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re: We HAVE to make a change around here.#7
Posted: 7/13/04 at 2:52pm
jrb, I think there are just too many negative people on this site for your plan to work.
CCM '10!
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re: We HAVE to make a change around here.#8
Posted: 7/13/04 at 2:52pm
I was going to say it in jest...I think Sammy is serious.
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re: We HAVE to make a change around here.#9
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:01pm
EXACT same thing happened to me, Spider. And I also almost didn't hang around.
Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson
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re: we have to make a change around here.#10
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:03pm
i wonder where some of those people have gone and if, in fact, they left before the so-called negativity. perhaps, not everyone wants smiling, happy, mindless kumbaya. it's possible that some of those people you are lamenting there, jrb, left for a reason other than the negativity. i mean it's possible. but then, what do i know? i'm the meanest of the mean, and don't you ever effin' forget it!
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
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re: we have to make a change around here.#11
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:06pm
I just want to learn how to load a dishwasher.
Rest in peace, Iflitifloat.
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re: we have to make a change around here.#12
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:09pm
The people I am referring to started leaving progressively as things got negative here--over the last period of months. The irony is that people from both "groups" have PMd me at various times to report this. So, this has been hurting everyone.

Yes, I realize that some people enjoy their daily biting, cattiness, and trash talking along with their coffee or night cap. But, I imagine there is a better way to go about it then as of late. Lately, without fail, people bounce from thread to thread JUST to leave their daily stink bombs.
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re: we have to make a change around here.#13
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:11pm
that is so cruel, etoile! i cannot effin' believe you just said that right here in front of all these people! you ought to be ashamed of yourself. all jrb is trying to do is to start a dialogue which might eventualy lead us to some kind of peace and consensus on this board and all you can do is perpetuate the hate. i'm deeply and thoroughly disgusted and i just don't know what to say. it's not every day that i am at a loss for words, but this is one. so i shall hum.

dee dee dee dee doo doo doo, daa daa daa daa dum dum dum
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
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re: we have to make a change around here.#14
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:15pm
"All we are saying...is give peace a chance".
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson
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re: we have to make a change around here.#15
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:16pm
jrb, they find this fun. Who needs peace? We are not here to make friends, we are here to argue to fight about politics.
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re: we have to make a change around here.#16
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:16pm
Just to let everyone know, my relative absence from the board, though I still am present usually late at night and sometimes early in the morning is due to my being in a show right now and the socializing that goes along with being in a show. We are always off doing something. I will probably be back to my normal posting levels once the show is over. Well a week after the show is over because then I am going on vacation, but I will bring my positivity back to the board. I promise! That is unless I actually get a life or a girlfriend or a BMW Z4 or maybe even..no I am going to stop myself now.
My avatar is a reminder to myself. I need lots of reminders...
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re: We HAVE to make a change around here.#17
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:20pm
I just joined the board in June. Why? Because I love discussing theatre with people who love theatre and they are pretty rare where I live. Access to knowledgeable, funny, creative and articulate devotees of the theatre world is great and very satisfying but the last few days have shown that there is a dark side to those attributes as well. "Knowledge" can turn to disdain for those perceived to have less knowlege, "funny" can beome viciousness at the expense of others, and being skewered creatively doesn't make it any less painful regardless of how well it is articulated. It's certainly intimidating to someone new and if it drives away good people who have been contributors in the past what are we left with? I'd hate to see this potentially great forum devolve into a pitstop for conceited name-calling. Who needs that here when most of us just do this for the fun of it?

Thanks, jrb, for starting this discussion. A little respect and tolerance goes a long way...in fact, that's not a bad motto for life in general.
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re: we have to make a change around here.#18
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:26pm
Ya know what? I've held my tounge on here for a while cause, in the end, it's a freaking message board and I don't give a sh*t what goes on here.

I do, however, find the hypocrisy frightening (no...my dear jrb, I'm not speaking of you). The cruelty around here is staggering. And I'm speaking of the way people talk about actors and actresses and pop singers and directors who make their livings (or may just do a quick drive-by) in the theatre. The worst things I've ever read here are reserved for people no one here knows. Which makes it oh so safe. Since we don't know them, but we love Broadway, we're allowed to tear anyone down. EVEN BEFORE THEY STEP FOOT ON A STAGE! Mind-boggling.

Even at my cruelest (my barbs at Juliana's Journal), I tried to articulate thoughtfully what I felt about the journal and the way it was presented. Maybe I failed. But I attempted to be thoughtful in my points.

I'd rather read a well-thought-out, bitchy, witty diatribe than any of the mindless insults that are hurled at people doing their jobs any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
"I'm so looking forward to a time when all the Reagan Democrats are dead."
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re: we have to make a change around here.#19
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:27pm
Shut up.
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re: we have to make a change around here.#20
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:31pm
Thanks, robbiej--I wanted to go there, too, but I wanted to focus on the one aspect that is tearing up this board.

But, I will say it again--it is one thing to be b*tchy with your friends on the phone or at dinner about a show or actor, etc. It is entirely different to broadcast these same comments on a message board. It does get back to people and many (no, not all) others are very influenced by what is said in type. Constructive criticism is so much better anyway.

And, if you want to be nasty to a show or star, be ballsy enough to include your picture, name, and email address for a fair discourse. People hiding behing masks can be rather scathing and cruel.
Updated On: 7/13/04 at 03:31 PM
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re: we have to make a change around here.#21
Posted: 7/13/04 at 3:50pm
"THE NEGATIVITY HAS TO STOP."

Of course the SumOfAllThings negativity is an exception to the rule...right? RIGHT?

If not I'm starting my own negative based group. We'll start small and then soon become a monster of an evil organization
BSoBW2: I punched Sondheim in the face after I saw Wicked and said, "Why couldn't you write like that!?"
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re: we have to make a change around here.#22
Posted: 7/13/04 at 4:09pm
Facts are facts - people are going to be the way they are - sometimes unfortunately. If you watch and/or participate enough around here, you get a sense of what generally to expect from various persons. Nothing need excuse certain behaviors, they exist as a reflection only on the poster. I have thought, especially recently, how some things must look to a pair of 'fresh' eyes. There are times that I feel badly for Rob and Craig, who give so much of their time and effort to this project, only to see it (at times) vere wildly off course. It's interesting to me, and a little sad, to see this level of childishness and ridiculousness born of something connected to the love of theatre. And the thought that certain adults around here are willing to present themselves the way they do to younger people is simply mind-boggling. But it doesn't matter, as it's only a reflection of what goes on in the real world, and you can't hide from that either.

In the end, I ALWAYS come back to the same thing - thank god for Margo re: we have to make a change around here.
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re: we have to make a change around here.#23
Posted: 7/13/04 at 4:09pm
To be fair, some of those that have left the board were also among the cruellest in their posts, sarcastic or not. Actually, I have not seen the board change that drastically since I first started posting six or seven months ago when Namo started tearing me a new one shortly after I started posting (an anti-negativity post as well). Since then, we have agreed on some things, but we only had that problem in the beginning. It felt almost like intiation or something. There are a few of those younger posters who enjoy flaming or getting some thrill out of the anonymity of bashing others, but again, this is not new either. I can remember one anti-Marissa in particular who bears a remarkable resemblence to a new single-initialed poster of late. And of course, there are the unending sexual innuendos and beefcake icons.

Being an election year, politics are hot now and the temperature will continue to rise through November. Just fasten your seat belts and keep your arms inside the car at all times until the ride comes to a complete stop. And eventually it will....stop.

I know I have my catty moments (especially when it comes to pop stars), but when I make a jibe at Madonna or Janet Jackson or Britney Aguilera, it's just silliness laced with a bit of heartfelt opinion, but I try not to get as low as SNL or MTV.

Ultimately, the tone of the board truly reflects the tone of the nation at the moment. It is cynical, uncertain, and frightened of the future. The board will relax when the nation relaxes as well, but with films like Farenheit 9/11, issues like the Constitutional Amendment coming to vote, and with what will no doubt be one of the most nationally charged intense election in several decades, we should all expect the board to be somewhat erratic, but it is up to each individual to decide whether or not to contribute to its stability or destruction.

To post with your heart is admirable. To post with your brain is respectable. And a good sense of humor is lovable.
"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian
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re: we have to make a change around here.#24
Posted: 7/13/04 at 4:30pm
I see now that I was wrong. I don't need only one week of this groups therapy bills as pocket money--three day, just THREE LITTLE DAYS!, will do :)
'The Devil be hitting me!'--Whitney Houston