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Borderline Personality Disorder

Mike Barrett  Profile PhotoMike Barrett  Profile Photo
Mike Barrett
Broadway Legend
joined:4/13/13
Broadway Legend
joined:
4/13/13
Borderline Personality Disorder #1
Posted: 8/22/19 at 10:01am

Hi all. This is a bit random and Im not sure it belongs here or not, so I apologize in advance if this isn't proper. I suffer from BPD. Probably have most of my life (22) but have recently realized that keeping a job is just not something I can do. Im not sure why really. I go through therapy every week, work on meditations, take a few different anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds but they just aren't working, and I feel like self sabotage is just taking over. I almost look for a way out at every job I have while simultaneously working my ass off and trying to learn the new job/system but just cannot do it.

Is there anyone else on here who has BPD? I could really use some sort of advice right now, its a very difficult disease to live with daily and I seem to be at some sort of dead end. Don't really have many options to go to for advice on this in my life, and I know there are some great posters here who would provide a thoughtful response, which I thank in advance. 

CarlosAlberto Profile PhotoCarlosAlberto Profile Photo
CarlosAlberto
Broadway Legend
joined:6/29/10
Broadway Legend
joined:
6/29/10
Borderline Personality Disorder #2
Posted: 8/22/19 at 10:16am

Mike Barrett said: "Hi all. This is a bit random and Im not sure it belongs here or not, so I apologize in advance if this isn't proper. I suffer from BPD. Probably have most of my life (22) but have recently realized that keeping a job is just not something I can do. Im not sure why really. I go through therapy every week, work on meditations, take a few different anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds but they just aren't working, and I feel like self sabotage is just taking over. I almost look for a way out at every job I have while simultaneously working my ass off and trying to learn the new job/system but just cannot do it.

Is there anyone else on here who has BPD? I could really use some sort of advice right now, its a very difficult disease to live with daily and I seem to be at some sort of dead end. Don't really have many options to go to for advice on this in my life, and I know there are some great posters here who would provide a thoughtful response, which I thank in advance.
"

I myself do not suffer from Bipolar Personality Disorder but if you need help the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) provides a wealth of resources and may have what you are looking for. 

NAMI

BPD Recovery Resources

I do hope you find the help you are seeking. Be well. 

Updated On: 8/22/19 at 10:16 AM
Mike Barrett  Profile PhotoMike Barrett  Profile Photo
Mike Barrett
Broadway Legend
joined:4/13/13
Broadway Legend
joined:
4/13/13
Borderline Personality Disorder #3
Posted: 8/22/19 at 10:40am

CarlosAlberto said: "Mike Barrett said: "Hi all. This is a bit random and Im not sure it belongs here or not, so I apologize in advance if this isn't proper. I suffer from BPD. Probably have most of my life (22) but have recently realized that keeping a job is just not something I can do. Im not sure why really. I go through therapy every week, work on meditations, take a few different anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds but they just aren't working, and I feel like self sabotage is just taking over. I almost look for a way out at every job I have while simultaneously working my ass off and trying to learn the new job/system but just cannot do it.

Is there anyone else on here who has BPD? I could really use some sort of advice right now, its a very difficult disease to live with daily and I seem to be at some sort of dead end. Don't really have many options to go to for advice on this in my life, and I know there are some great posters here who would provide a thoughtful response, which I thank in advance.
"

I myself do not suffer from Bipolar Personality Disorder but if you need help the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) provides a wealth of resources and may have what you are looking for.

NAMI

BPD Recovery Resources

I do hope you find the help you are seeking. Be well.
"

Much appreciated, I will take a look! Wish you the best as well. 

ahhrealmonsters
Broadway Legend
joined:9/11/10
Broadway Legend
joined:
9/11/10
Borderline Personality Disorder #4
Posted: 8/22/19 at 3:51pm

Hi Mike - I do not have BPD, but I do a lot of mental health advocacy work. Are you doing DBT (dialectical behavior therapy)? That's the most common type of therapy for BPD. There are other types that work for other people, like psychodynamic. Unfortunately there's no quick fix, and treatment often takes a long time. Keep persisting and good luck!

FindingNamo
Broadway Legend
joined:7/22/03
Broadway Legend
joined:
7/22/03
Borderline Personality Disorder #5
Posted: 8/22/19 at 5:45pm

People say that dialectical behavioral therapy is one thing that helps a lot of people who have this diagnosis. It's an ongoing thing and it's something you have to agree to put the time into.


You bringing this up reminds me of something I meant to post a long time ago, and that's Pete Davidson of SNL is a hero for going public with his BPD diagnosis. It's not an easy thing to have or deal with or even go public with. There is so much struggle and shame and judgment involved. I've read a ton about it and found a good website about psychological diagnoses that calls on mental health professionals and regular people who have the assorted diagnoses sharing their experiences with the illnesses and treatments.  I'll see if I can find it again and link it here.

Editing to add: I found the website.  And I am going to admit, Siri brought me the link when I was exasperated, sitting outside of my house because I was afraid to cross paths with my landlord.  I actually said, "Help! Does my landlord have borderline personality disorder?" It took me to this site called The Mighty, and an article about five things people with BPD are doing when you think they are "manipulating" you.  It was quite helpful to me.  Maybe you will find something helpful there.  Also, check in with your mental health caregiver to make sure the site isn't crackpottery, cuz I'm no expert.

https://themighty.com

 

 

 

Can you hear me now? Twitter: @NamoInExile
Updated On: 8/22/19 at 05:45 PM
UncleCharlie
Broadway Legend
joined:6/26/16
Broadway Legend
joined:
6/26/16
Borderline Personality Disorder #6
Posted: 8/23/19 at 1:33am
I have little knowledge of the area so I have no specific advice to share, but from a common sense standpoint, your therapist who you indicated you see every week should be your guide. He or she should be seeing what is and isn't working, suggesting new approaches and treatments, not just going thru the motions each week with the same approach. That nothing seems to be working and you're having to turn elsewhere for advice as to what to do next says that person is not doing his or her job. Ask them what other ideas they have and if they don't have any, find a new therapist who might approach your treatment differently than your current therapist. And just to be clear, it's great that you reached out here. The more avenues you can explore and the more ideas you can get, the better but your therapist should be the one pulling all those ideas together into an actionable treatment plan and if that's not happening, change your therapist. Best of luck.
Mike Barrett  Profile PhotoMike Barrett  Profile Photo
Mike Barrett
Broadway Legend
joined:4/13/13
Broadway Legend
joined:
4/13/13
Borderline Personality Disorder #7
Posted: 8/26/19 at 8:48am

I appreciate all your responses! I am in therapy although even therapy is becoming far too much at this point. Im going to begin looking for new jobs today, but just am struggling finding anything of interest. Wish me the best of luck folks! 

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ErikJ972
Broadway Legend
joined:5/26/03
Broadway Legend
joined:
5/26/03
Borderline Personality Disorder #8
Posted: 8/26/19 at 6:55pm

DBT is definitely the way to go.

Armie3
Understudy
joined:6/18/18
Understudy
joined:
6/18/18
Borderline Personality Disorder #9
Posted: 8/27/19 at 9:18am

The rat race is hard.

I don't know about BPD, but I will say this don't feel bad or judge yourself. If anybody else judges you, **** them - don't let them get you down. Mainly don't be hard on yourself, though. This is not a character flaw.

Mike Barrett  Profile PhotoMike Barrett  Profile Photo
Mike Barrett
Broadway Legend
joined:4/13/13
Broadway Legend
joined:
4/13/13
Borderline Personality Disorder #10
Posted: 8/27/19 at 11:23am
DBT is just quite intense, or can be at least for me. So someone with very intense emotions it just gets exhausting to have to go to. It’s also exhausting to continually be unrelatable to my friends and such. Even today at work, my pen fell off my desk and I just haven’t been able to recover since. It was already quite a long morning before but it was right as I was in the middle of a thought and now I’ve lost that thought. Ugh! Sorry for this to be my ranting space now, been a rough week
Impossible2
Broadway Legend
joined:3/31/18
Broadway Legend
joined:
3/31/18
Borderline Personality Disorder #11
Posted: 8/27/19 at 6:36pm

Wait I'm confused, do you have Borderline or Bipolar...they are 2 completely different disorders?

Mike Barrett  Profile PhotoMike Barrett  Profile Photo
Mike Barrett
Broadway Legend
joined:4/13/13
Broadway Legend
joined:
4/13/13
Borderline Personality Disorder #12
Posted: 8/27/19 at 7:05pm
Borderline. I’m completely unstable emotionally and in most aspects of life anyways. I was already depressed heading in then my pen fell of my desk at work and I was just done from there. Left work even I just couldn’t handle it
Impossible2
Broadway Legend
joined:3/31/18
Broadway Legend
joined:
3/31/18
Borderline Personality Disorder #13
Posted: 8/27/19 at 7:37pm

Mike Barrett said: "Borderline. I’m completely unstable emotionally and in most aspects of life anyways. I was already depressed heading in then my pen fell of my desk at work and I was just done from there. Left work even I just couldn’t handle it"

Have sent you a PM x

JBradshaw Profile PhotoJBradshaw Profile Photo
JBradshaw
Broadway Star
joined:10/10/04
Broadway Star
joined:
10/10/04
Borderline Personality Disorder #14
Posted: 8/30/19 at 2:52am
I have it.

It sucks.


Mike Barrett  Profile PhotoMike Barrett  Profile Photo
Mike Barrett
Broadway Legend
joined:4/13/13
Broadway Legend
joined:
4/13/13
Borderline Personality Disorder #15
Posted: 8/30/19 at 3:20pm

JBradshaw said: "I have it.

It sucks.



"

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