Dear Evan Hansen and Kids

[mmFan]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 8:07am

My 9 year old loves theater like me and I've taken her to many musicals (Mamma Mia 4x, Wicked 2x, Annie, Matilda, 3x and many more I can't think of at the moment).

I often play the DEH soundtrack when we're in the car and loves the music. (I just turn down the sound during the one sentence in Sincerely Me). I know a lot of things go over hear head as for example, in Mamma Mia, she never questioned how she can't know who her dad is.

I purchased 2 tickets for DEH for next year as it's coming to our city. Haven't told her yet as I'd love to take but deciding if its appropriate. What do others think? She'll be just under 10 years by then.

[Brian07663NJ]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 8:48am

No one knows the maturity level of your child better than you do. Before you attend the show, as the parent of an 8 year old, I would recommend that you are 100% familiar with the plot, emotions and every minute detail so that you are prepared to discuss it at length. Things that we take for granted can trigger questions we would never fathom giving a second thought. If you are prepare and want to engage then by all means go for it! 

There are many aspects of DEH that even grown adults cannot tolerate...specifically did not say mature adults because your age is not an indicator of maturity.

[carolinaguy]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 8:57am

There is some strong language in the dialogue in several scenes--stronger than anything on the cast recording. And there's also a brief reprise of "Sincerely, Me" at the top of Act II with a, let's say... indelicate lyric.

I am no expert on kids (thank God), but I would think the last fifteen or so minutes of DEH would be very intense for a ten-year-old.

[mmFan]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 10:20am

Thanks.  I did see it awhile ago close to when it opened in NY. Don't remember the language but it probably didn't phase me and don't remember details...just the main story (and from listening to the music).  There is the suicide so that's the main decision (although she knows at a high level form the music).  

[dramamama611]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 10:25am

Brian said it very well - you know your child best. That being said, I'm about as liberal is it comes and think that 9-10 is bit too young.   The sexual references, the suicide, the lies - it's a lot to handle.

[JSquared2]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 12:32pm

mmFan said: "Thanks. I did see it awhile ago close to when it opened in NY. Don't remember the language but it probably didn't phase me and don't remember details...just the main story (and from listening to the music). There is the suicide so that's the main decision (although she knows at a high level form the music)."

 

Just curious --- if you've already seen it and know what the show is about --- why ask a bunch of total strangers if it's appropriate for YOUR kid?  

[mmFan]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 1:22pm

JSquared2 said: "mmFan said: "Thanks. I did see it awhile ago close to when it opened in NY. Don't remember the language but it probably didn't phase me and don't remember details...just the main story (and from listening to the music). There is the suicide so that's the main decision (although she knows at a high level form the music)."



Just curious --- if you've already seen it and know what the show is about --- why ask a bunch of total strangers if it's appropriate for YOUR kid?"

As mentioned it was awhile ago.  I remember the basic story with the suicide, lie of the friendship that gets out of hand and parents wanting to learn and connect with their son..I remember the great beautiful music (which is main reason for bringing our daughter as she loves the music)...I remember the characters and amazing acting (which is NA for our performance). BUT the notes mentioned above are helpful.  I don't remember bad language, don't remember it being 'intense', don't remember sexual references, etc .  I was thinking of bringing her before, but now am thinking otherwise.

 

[CurtainUp4]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 1:44pm

You could read the script that's available for purchase and decide from there if it's appropriate.

[(Insert Clever Name)]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 1:49pm

I wouldn’t honestly. There is so much language and I wouldn’t expose a child to such an exploration of suicide.

[VotePeron]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 1:57pm

It's never too early to teach your child that lying can solve all your problems.

[mmFan]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 2:00pm

Yeah..thanks for the replies.  Think I'll find a friend to come with (or if my husband wants to go again).  

[bwaylistener]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 2:11pm

I'll start by saying that I am a huge fan of Dear Evan Hansen and have seen it multiple times, and also have an 11-year-old daughter who has seen numerous shows. She has also listened to some of the music from DEH and loves it. However, it will be a few more years before I take her to see it. Yes the show has bad language, sexual references (may go over a kid's head, but may not and you may not be ready to explain them), drug references, and heavy themes. If you are turning down the music during "Sincerely Me," then you probably won't be comfortable with stuff in the show, which is more intense/explicit than the few "questionable" parts of "Sincerely Me." I have definitely seen younger kids at the show, but I also have friends with kids in this age range who aren't ready for their kids to see it yet, so it's whatever is best for you. Personally, one of the main reasons I haven't taken my daughter is that I think the show will make a bigger impact when she is older and can appreciate the themes more. But we also live close enough to New York that we can go whenever, regardless of tour stops. Maybe I would feel differently if the tour was our best/only chance of seeing it. Anyway, hopefully this offers some useful insight!

[Miles2Go2]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 2:41pm

I am not a parent so I wasn’t thinking about it from that vantage point when I saw it last year. Although I am well-versed in the cast recording, it’s now been a year since I saw the show.

Listening to Sincerely Me now. Yes, there is sexual innuendo, but I wouldn’t consider it explicit. Depending on what your child has been exposed to it will either go over her head or it won’t phase her. It’s not like they’re saying “f$&l.” As far as the difficult topics and themes, these are topics that parents should be talking to their children about anyway.

TKTS lists the age guidance for DEH as 13. So I guess the question is if you’d take your child to see a PG-13 movie. Personally, I remember my parents took me to see Jaws in 1975 when I was 11. It’s a bit surprising since my parents were pretty protective of me. It was only rated as PG (there was no PG-13 then), but I did find it pretty traumatic at the time. I even found taking baths a little scary for a bit afterwards. Lol. But I survived unscathed and now that my dad is deceased and mom has dementia, I am grateful for every memory I have with them. And as great a piece of popular filmwork that I think Jaws is, i think DEH can lead to meaningful conversations about bullying, suicide and lying. Those are difficult conversations but important ones. Of course, those are conversations one can have without inserting a musical into the mix. But at least DEH doesn’t involve sharks biting people in half.

You’re the parent (and I’m not) so you’ll do what you think is right. I do find people get a lot more freaked out about sexuality (even a few mild lyrics) than graphic violence. But kids are pretty resilient especially when raised by a parent who seems as thoughtful and caring as you. Your daughter will be okay either way.

[mmFan]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 3:02pm

bwaylistener, thank you.  That really helps hearing from another theatre fan and parent of similar age.  Your thoughts are really helpful and I have to agree.

 

Miles2Go2, thank you as well.  Sorry for your Jaws fear (those baths must have been rough ).  Your DEH comment about not having sharks made me laugh.  True though...difficult tops  that maybe is too much for a 9 year old.

[dearalanaaaa]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 4:17pm

I took my 12 year old cousin to see this show and she was fine. I'm part of a minority, but public schools today are filled with profanity, sexuality, and mental illnesses. When I graduated from high school this year, there was a 9th grader who was pregnant, 3 suicides, and obviously cursing lined the halls. In middle schools it's very similar but to a smaller extent (just making out, juul, depression/cutting, and still cursing). Parents believing their kid isn't already exposed to how vile the world can be baffle me. So from somebody who has taken a kid to see the show, take them if they're mentally ready.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 4:19pm

BIG difference between a barely 10 year old and a middle school kid.  And just because they are exposed to it, doesnt mean parents want to encourage it.  

 

 

[Elsie2]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 6:27pm

I have an 8 year old who is very grown up and I have taken her to shows such as Hello Dolly, The King and I, Wicked, School of Rock and she adores them, loves listening to the music and also knows half the words to DEH which I regularly play in the car, however I decided earlier this year when we were taking our trip that I was not going to take her to DEH which I have seen a few times, it's not the language or anything it's just that I think it will be too emotional for her and I know she will get upset towards the end just because she is so empathic and it could take away from her experience. I have decided to wait a year or so and see how she is then, I don't think she needs to feel all that quite yet... But only you know really how your child will respond. 

[(Insert Clever Name)]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 7:11pm

Okay when I first saw it I was twelve, but I agree there is a HUGE difference between a 9 year old and a twelve year old.

[BroadwayNoob]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 10:37pm

I just saw it for the first time as a 15 year old. Obviously I wasn't questioning it, but taking anyone under 13 I'd say would be an uncomfortable experience for a parent, and some explaining would have to be done. And it's so emotionally intense, and covers so many themes, there are much better "adult" shows to take a 9 year old to (I liked Kinky Boots better than DEH and that had me crying as well) 

 

Also, a 9 year old probably will not remember the show whatsoever 5 years from now.

[seriously13]

Posted: 9/26/18 at 11:17pm

I actually took my two daughters when they were 13 and 10. I didn’t know that much about DEH going in: I only knew it was about high schoolers and social media and that some guy who apparently had been in Pitch Perfect was in it.

My 13 yo was the perfect age for the show (she had memorized all of the words to WTAW within an hour of getting home afterwards). I do remember sitting in the show thinking, “whoa, this is kinda heavy” for the 10 yo. Everything turned out ok because most of the worst stuff (such as the graphic reference to meth in the Sincerely Me reprise) went over the 10 yo’s head. (Also, I do think my now 12 yo is mature and sophisticated for her age, but admittedly I am biased.) But if I had to do it over again, I would consider leaving my younger daughter at home, because 10 yo is a really young age to be seeing DEH.

[youwillbefound2]

Posted: 9/27/18 at 6:28am

If I was a 10 year old, I wouldn't understand the themes of DEH very well, and honestly it would be a waste of money.

[Snakeskin]

Posted: 9/27/18 at 7:02am

Dear Evan Hansen will only help to make your kids better people.  I think everyone should see it regardless of age.

[mmFan]

Posted: 9/27/18 at 8:00am

youwillbefound2 said: "If I was a 10 year old, I wouldn't understand the themes of DEH very well, and honestly it would be a waste of money."

Completely disagree with this in our case.  For my daughter, it's all about the music and the scene (i.e theatre as opposed to a concert).  If I knew for sure that the 'intense' stuff would go over her head and she could just enjoy the show, then I would take her without question.

 

[mmFan]

Posted: 9/27/18 at 8:03am

Elsie2 said: "I have an 8 year old who is very grown up and I have taken her to shows such as Hello Dolly, The King and I, Wicked, School of Rock and she adores them, loves listening to the music and also knows half the words to DEH which I regularly play in the car, however I decided earlier this year when we were taking our trip that I was not going to take her to DEH which I have seen a few times, it's not the language or anything it's just that I think it will be too emotional for her and I know she will get upset towards the end just because she is so empathic and it could take away from her experience. I have decided to wait a year or so and see how she is then, I don't think she needs to feel all that quite yet... But only you know really how your child will respond."

Totally get this...and would have to say the same after thinking about it and the responses.  My 9 year old loves theatre and has seen lots, also knows most of the DEH words...but yeah, it's less about the language but more about the emotional side (and guess having to explain suicide at her age)

[Br0adway]

Posted: 9/27/18 at 8:06pm

Well some lady had her 10 year old with her at The Book of Mormon this weekend so there’s that.

If I had to pick The Book of Mormon or Dear Evan Hansen for my 10 year old to see, it would be Dear Evan Hansen.