Inappropriately Amusing Revival Concepts

[Sondheimite]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 1:50pm

(This post is going to reveal to a few friends on my facebook what my Broadway World Username is, as I posted this on my Facebook last night after I woke up!)

I love sharing crazy non-practical ideas for directing well-known material.

Last night, I dreamed I was in the back of an audience for a production of Evita I directed. I knew I directed it but the dreamed dropped me in the middle of opening night so I didn't dream through any of my directing process.

Me, Reality Sondheimite, has been watching a lot of conspiracy theory videos on youtube lately because I'm a lonely man in my late twenties who smokes weed on occasion and that's what lonely men in their late twenties who smoke weed on occasions do. So the conspiracy of Hitler escaping to Argentina was swimming around in my subconscious before this dream.

Anyway... back to this dream production of Evita. I'm watching the show (and it's kinda skimming around because it's a dream) and I start to notice an actor who looks like Hitler in all the crowd scenes.... like... just trying to fit in and do the choreography with the rest of the Argentinian ensemble members but he's two steps out of time and he's really hoping no one notices that he shouldn't be there. Dream Sondheimite and Reality Sondheimite connect for a moment and I realize that Dream Sondheimite has directed Hitler into Evita. Oh, no. This is bad. This is not a good thing.

The show gets to act two.... Hitler is still f****ing around in the ensemble. Dream Sondheimite is in the back of the theatre sweating because you can hear a rumble through the audience... they're beginning to realize that the idea of Hitler escaping to Argentina has been directed into the show for almost comedic effect. This is really not good, Dream Sondheimite did not make an informed or good artistic decision.

At one point Hitler sneaks behind Eva Peron, pulls out a syringe, plunges it into Eva, puts his finger to his mouth and winks into the audience, and disappears back into the crowd. Dream Sondheimite has directed in that Adolf Hitler gave Eva Peron cancer (?!?!?!?!?) through a syringe (?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!). So Dream Sondheimite and the audience are both starting... to get a little upset (understandably).

The show ends with Che giving the show's final monologue which is as followed, "Money was raised and a tomb was built, A monument to Evita. Only the pedestal was completed and Evita's body disappeared for seventeen years-" AT THAT MOMENT, Hitler BURST in front of the actor playing Che and says with a wink and a **** eating grin, "And I lived happily ever after in Argentina." Dream Sondheimite SCREECHES in shock, horror, and anger. The entire audience gasps and pivots in their chairs, looking at me in shock, horror, and anger.
I woke up at that moment.


And I will never ever ever EVER direct Evita now. Ever. Ever ever. Ever. E.V.E.R. ever... Ever.... EVER.

Anyone else have any far out ideas that could not/should not be implemented?  

Updated On: 9/5/18 at 01:50 PM

[all_that_jazz]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 4:14pm

I have no idea who you are but i do know you're my new best friend!

Im sitting at work havin lunch laughing like an idiot tears rolling down my face. That is the most hillarious yet genius concept ever! And between envisioning hitler two steps behind trying to blend in and your reaction to what you directed....it could have been the third season of SMASH

I needed that today. Cant wait to see what comes through that sunconcious tonight. And for the record...the show you dreamt up was a lot more enjoyable than a few ive seen recently

Your new best friend

[newintown]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 4:21pm

I would also enjoy that production.

[BroadwayConcierge]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 4:23pm

Thank you for brightening up BWW, Sondheimite. Holy hell.

[Elegance101]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 4:26pm

Let's start a GoFundMe to make this happen.

[all_that_jazz]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 4:37pm

Elegance101 said: "Let's start a GoFundMe to make this happen."

Im in....  Is it too early to ask for a pic of the show curtain.  Or if it will offer rush.

[Elegance101]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 4:47pm

all_that_jazz said: "Elegance101 said: "Let's start a GoFundMe to make this happen."

Im in.... Is it too early to ask for a pic of the show curtain. Or if it will offer rush."

Just saw it on TKTS, so I'd recommend that for cheaper seats!

[Cesare2]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 5:05pm

How about a revival of CAMELOT with the following:

Donald Trump as Arthur; Ivanka Trump as Guenevere; Jared Kushner as Lancelot; Hillary Clinton as Morgan le Fay; Robert Mueller as Mordred; Roy Cohn as Merlin; and as Pellinore Rudy Guiliani.

 

 

[g.d.e.l.g.i.]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 5:18pm

Well, as someone who knows the OP, he once had a similarly creative idea for Jesus Christ Superstar. Since I don't feel "sneaking Hitler into Evita" is quite embarrassing enough, I'm gonna drop this load on you all.

If I recall correctly, this one boasted the following gimmicks:

* Immersive production under an overpass, framed as though the piece is presented by a group of inner-city homeless people.

* Their cult leader is an amalgamation of the roles of Jesus and Judas (i.e., J.C. and Judas played by the same actor), symbolizing our inner drive/motivations (Judas) and the avatars/characters we feel we must portray as we go through life (Jesus).

* Priests = corporate mascot knock-offs you see in Times Square, removing their masks and costumes in key sequences to reveal very polished white CEOs in business suits underneath, loved by the cast while in costume and hated out of costume

* Temple is set in a Disney Store mock-up

* Herod is a Trump caricature

* As the grand finale, the cops pull up and shoot Judy McJesus during what used to be the crucifixion sequence

...at least his presentations of Andrew Lloyd Webber's work are never dull, right? Granted, if the audience goes home upset, it won't be because they were affected by the work, but because they didn't ask for this ****.

 

[quizking101]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 5:22pm

I mean, they only showed part of SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER in The Producers, so this very well could be the rest of the show that the audience in the theatre saw.

[Sondheimite]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 5:39pm

g.d.e.l.g.i. said: "Well, as someone who knows the OP, he once had a similarly creative idea forJesus Christ Superstar. Since I don't feel "sneaking Hitler into Evita" is quite embarrassing enough, I'm gonna drop this load on you all.

If I recall correctly, this one boasted the following gimmicks:

* Immersive production under an overpass, framedas though the piece is presented by a group of inner-city homeless people.

* Their cult leader is an amalgamation of the roles of Jesus and Judas (i.e., J.C. and Judas played by the same actor), symbolizing our inner drive/motivations (Judas) and the avatars/characters we feel we must portray as we go through life (Jesus).

* Priests = corporate mascot knock-offs you see in Times Square, removing their masks and costumes in key sequences to reveal very polished white CEOs in business suits underneath, loved by the cast while in costume and hated out of costume

* Temple is set in a Disney Store mock-up

* Herod is a Trump caricature

* As the grand finale, the cops pull up and shoot Judy McJesus during what used to be the crucifixion sequence

...at least his presentations of Andrew Lloyd Webber's work are never dull, right? Granted, if the audience goes home upset, it won't be because they were affected by the work, but because they didn't ask for this ****.

"

I STAND BY IT!!!!

And it's nothing compared to this vision that I totally did not have during my first LSD experience about Annie.
I'd just watched the Day After Tomorrow documentary and I envisioned this.... like okay.

Advertise the production as just regular Annie.  The Annie that everyone knows and loves.  Play it in the winter.  The audience walks through the gentle snowfall into the theatre where they're greeted by a by a lavish red curtain.  The lights go down in the house and the curtain rises

on a mental institution.  There are all these middle aged women who peaked at age 12 doing Annie on Broadway playing Annie/The Orphans who have gone deluded and crazy having peaked at age 12.

They imagine their strict nurse to be Hannigan, Daddy Warbucks is a pharmacist who comes in with new drugs that give Annie delusions of grandeur, and Sandy the Dog is a mop bucket.

The audience goes more upset and the curtain call involves Charles Strouse personally walking into the theatre and handing me a cease and desist.

Ivo Van Hove, CALL ME.

[Sondheimite]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 5:48pm

And thank you all for the kind words, always happy to give people a smile!

If any of you want to be friends, we can be friends and bounce stuff like this all the live-long-day.

Message me for my facebook

[quizking101]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 5:59pm

Hello, Dolly.

Setting: 1980s New York

Dolly is a hard-bitten madam who's resentful after her pimp husband, Ephraim, who ran the local adult video store that they owned, dies after being shot by the police during a raid. She rides the subway on the lookout for new girls to take charge of with the help of her manservant, Ambrose. They plot to capture hotel heiress Irene Molloy for a already-wealthy drug kingpin (Horace Vandergelder) who has enlisted Dolly's services in getting someone he can extort for millions so he can escape to Cayman.

Along the way, Barnaby falls in one with one of Vandegelder's dealers (Ermengarde) and they plot to escape to the Canadian border without being foiled, while Dolly makes an offer to Vandergelder's other underlings, Cornelius and Barnaby to give a kidnapped Irene to them in exchange for getting Dolly a chance with Horace.

Things come to a head at strip club when everybody crosses each other in a madcap, comical romp, complete with mistaken identity, skimpy lingerie, kilos of cocaine, a gun fight, and a happy ending.

Fin.

[Sondheimite]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 6:03pm

quizking101 said: "Hello, Dolly.

Setting: 1980s New York

Dolly is a hard-bitten madam who's resentful after her pimp husband, Ephraim, who ran the local adult video storethat they owned, dies after being shot by the police during a raid. She rides the subway on the lookout for new girls to take charge of with the help of her manservant, Ambrose. They plot to capture hotel heiress Irene Molloy for a already-wealthy drug kingpin(Horace Vandergelder) who has enlisted Dolly's services in getting someone he can extort for millions so he can escape to Cayman.

Along the way, Barnaby falls in one with one of Vandegelder's dealers (Ermengarde) and they plot to escape to the Canadian border without being foiled, while Dolly makes an offer to Vandergelder's other underlings, Cornelius and Barnaby to give a kidnapped Irene to them in exchange for getting Dolly a chance with Horace.

Things come to a head at strip club when everybody crosses each other in a madcap, comical romp, complete with mistaken identity, skimpy lingerie, kilos of cocaine, a gun fight, and a happy ending.

Fin."

Sign me UP

[darquegk]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 9:12pm

In a previous thread I had tried to imagine the most offensive Jesus Christ Superstar I could think of, and came up with one in which Jesus is characterized not just as mortal, or as morally ambiguous, but as a monster. A charismatic, narcissistic camp gay with additional pedophilic tendencies, leering at every young shirtless man and visibly disgusted by the poor and sick, though he turns on the charm when in public. A total manipulative sham, mainlining coke into his system and robbing the coffer himself as his cult of personality grows bigger and bigger. A show in which Judas and the priests are absolutely right to want to stop this train, and one in which Jesus gropes several disciples and slaps Mary Magdalene at the Last Supper. The kind of show where Jesus dies on the cross with a vulpine grin, sadomasochistically thrilled at how much publicity he is going to get.

Basically, imagine a perverse fusion of Andy Dick and Jimmy Saville as Jesus, the head of the biggest religion in the country. I'm not suggesting this production actually be realized, by the way. I'm trying and succeeding in creating something that offends even myself.

[TheGingerBreadMan]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 10:33pm

Thank you, thank you, thank you all for these. You all made my day.

[bwayrose7]

Posted: 9/5/18 at 10:43pm

And here I thought grad school was where I’d read the most horrifyingly entertaining ideas. This thread is my new favorite thing. Maybe when I’m off mobile I’ll get around to typing out the awful variation on Phantom I imagined during a way-too-long stop on the tour.

[Sondheimite]

Posted: 9/6/18 at 12:37am

Two more late night quick ones:

 

-Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame.  Death West style kinda but Quasimodo is wheelchair bound with ASL.  (this one is a mildly serous?  

 

-Little Shop of Horrors.  The show starts and it’s pretty much a normal, though stylized, production.  Then, the Audrey II appears… and it’s just a fern.  It’s kinda colorful and kinda odd… but it’s just a fern.  But everything else is pretty much a normal production of Little Shop of Horrors.  Then it gets to Feed Me.  And Seymour is now also singing/speaking the lines of the Audrey II.  Maybe he keeps picking off parts of the plant, rolling them into joints, smokes it, and they’re a really powerful drug that makes you high but also takes away all your inhibitions to a dangerous level… that just came to me while typing this… I’m going with it.  Anyways, Seymour kills the Dentist and cannibalizes him.  Things start to go off the rails, production wise.

 

Seymour continues the trend of killing and eating the characters.  Until he can’t take the two personalities anymore and tries to kill himself, thus killing the “Audrey II.”  Don’t Feed The Plants starts.  Suddenly, the walls of the flower shop rise into the wings.  The entire set goes away revealing a stark, sterol, clinical environment that is dimly lit.  Two padded walls drop down, trapping Seymour in-between them, Seymour is now laying on a hospital bed looking shell shocked.  Nothing we’ve seen as happened…. it’s all been Seymour’s delusions, who is in a mental institution. Where now in his room.  The music changes (“And this Theatre!&rdquo and a Nurse walks in (the Nurse is played by the same person who plays Audrey) to give Seymour his medication….. she’s also carrying a watering can.  Light floods the corner of Seymour room and we see a padded desk, which the Nurse walks towards.  There is a plant on the desk.. the same plant from Seymour’s delusions.  She waters the plant on the line, “look out!  Here comes Audrey II.”  The spirit of the Plant overtakes Seymour again and he screams “HERE I COME FOR YOOOUUUUUU!”  Seymour starts to laugh uncontrollably.  A Doctor (played by the same actor as Mushnik) and another Nurse (played by the actor who played Orin/all the other roles) run in.  The other Nurse straps Seymour to his bed as the Doctor injects a sedative just as the song ends.  

Black out.

The audience riots and Howard Ashman's vengeful spirit haunts me until I die. 

Updated On: 9/6/18 at 12:37 AM

[Rainah]

Posted: 9/6/18 at 1:51pm

So my natural response to "Oh man there is no way to make that work" is "I wonder if there is though"

Open on me, deadpan joking, describing my next production: Hamlet, but Hamlet is played by a dog. That's all. It's just a dog, being Hamlet. We all laugh and I shout a few terrible suggestions for titles of the play as I drive away.

Cut to me, two hours later, calling her going "OK BUT WHAT IF". It's an improv-comedy production, where there are dogs on the stage to represent all the characters, plus a panel of actors voicing the dogs. The actors have to incorporate anything the dogs are doing into their dialogue, and trying to somehow get through the text of Hamlet in a reasonable time frame without losing their minds. Do a whole marketing scheme similar to PTGW, posters that state

DOG-LET
HAM-DOG
OH SCREW IT, JUST WATCH THE SHOW

"The worst thing I have ever seen" - [notable local critic]

"Terrible, just terrible" - [notable local critic]

"When you said you were doing Shakespeare, this is not what I was imagining" - my girlfriend


And so on. It'd be a riot. 

[darquegk]

Posted: 9/6/18 at 3:22pm

Sondheimite, your description of the end of the madhouse "Little Shop" is nearly identical to the ending of my long-gestating musical adaptation of "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari," a project I utterly refuse to ever fully give up on.

[henrikegerman]

Posted: 9/6/18 at 4:05pm

OH CALCUTTA actually set in Calcutta and performed by a nude Mother Teresa, her missionaries, the ministered, and trafficked children.  Children will be clothed as there are some limits to inappropriateness even on this thread.

[bwayphreak234]

Posted: 9/6/18 at 7:59pm

Cats - set in an insane asylum.

[Maceball]

Posted: 9/7/18 at 1:41pm

But that's just Cats.

[Charley Kringas Inc]

Posted: 9/7/18 at 2:18pm

The Music Man, but it's set in a concentration camp and Harold Hill is metaphorically selling the prisoners the false promise of life after internment.

I guess that's more "depressing" than "inappropriately amusing", so: A Little Night Music, but they're hobos in a dump pretending to have rich people problems. Desiree sings Send In The Clowns from inside an old fridge.

Updated On: 9/8/18 at 02:18 PM

[loquacious book]

Posted: 9/13/18 at 9:39am

This thread is my new favorite thing,