Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
#1Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/19/17 at 3:40pm
from Facebook Onstage Blog. Printed by Nick Hern Books
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? "Three. One to do it and two more to discuss how they would have done it better.
How many directors does it take to change a light bulb? "Interesting, why does it want to change? What is its motivation?"
How many playwrights does it take to change a light bulb? "I'm not changing anything!"
How many producers does it take to change a light bulb? "Why do we need another light bulb?"
How many theatre publishers does it take to change a light bulb? "We just tell you how someone else did it earlier."
How many stage managers does it....? "Done!."
"Noel [Coward] and I were in Paris once. Adjoining rooms, of course. One night, I felt mischievous, so I knocked on Noel's door, and he asked, 'Who is it?' I lowered my voice and said 'Hotel detective. Have you got a gentleman in your room?' He answered, 'Just a minute, I'll ask him.'" (Beatrice Lillie)
TheGingerBreadMan
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/7/12
#3Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/19/17 at 8:58pm
But remember that Lincoln Center play from 1980-81 called "The Floating Light Bulb"? Someone named Brian Backer won a Tony, and it also starred Bea Arthur (!) and Jack Weston.
As far as I know, it was never produced again.
Sorry; the lightbulb jokes set me thinking of it.
trpguyy
Broadway Legend Joined: 2/25/05
#5Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/19/17 at 10:33pm
How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four, one to get on the ladder and three to stand around and say "See, I told you that's too high for her."
#6Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/19/17 at 10:40pm
Well I, for one, find these very clever. I thought I had heard all the theatre-related light-bulb jokes, but a few of these are new to me. Here's an alternate actor one:
Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only one: the actor just stands still holding the lightbulb, and the world revolves around them.
#7Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/19/17 at 11:01pm
I like the stage manager's response, though they would say, "DON'T TOUCH IT UNTIL THE LIGHTING DESIGNER GETS HERE."
#8Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/19/17 at 11:11pm
When I saw this article, I had no idea theatre light bulb jokes existed. I saw the humor in it.
"Noel [Coward] and I were in Paris once. Adjoining rooms, of course. One night, I felt mischievous, so I knocked on Noel's door, and he asked, 'Who is it?' I lowered my voice and said 'Hotel detective. Have you got a gentleman in your room?' He answered, 'Just a minute, I'll ask him.'" (Beatrice Lillie)
#9Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/21/17 at 8:23am
As long as we're talking about theatre jokes, I made up a list of "Operatic Starbucks" gags on my blog back in 2015...
Link
http://puccinischronicles.wordpress.com
LarryD2
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/1/14
#10Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/21/17 at 8:24am
TheGingerBreadMan said: "I find these stereotypical and patronizing.
"
Lighten up.
dramamama611
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/4/07
#11Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/21/17 at 9:08am
^Really. Stop looking to find offense.
These kind if jokes only work when dealing with a stereotype.
If we're not having fun, then why are we doing it?
These are DISCUSSION boards, not mutual admiration boards. Discussion only occurs when we are willing to hear what others are thinking, regardless of whether it is alignment to our own thoughts.
#12Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/21/17 at 9:08am
I laughed at the producers one. And when I read it, I put soooo much emphasis on the "need"
In our millions, in our billions, we are most powerful when we stand together. TW4C unwaveringly joins the worldwide masses, for we know our liberation is inseparably bound.
Signed,
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TheGingerBreadMan
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/7/12
#13Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/21/17 at 9:18am
We live in a world where people's chances and opportunities are hindered or obliterated every single day due to stereotypes and assumptions that are made about them before they even have a chance to show who they are. While these jokes do not necessarily persecute any specific group of people to the extent that has become a problem in our society, I hate the very principle of stereotyping and dislike anything to do with it. I'm not trying to stop you from laughing and having fun, only pointing out that jokes like this stem from the same ideology that essentially ruins lives.
Say that I'm uptight or don't have a sense of humor, that's fine. I don't find stereotype jokes funny.
dramamama611
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/4/07
#14Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/21/17 at 9:27am
I just can't.
If we're not having fun, then why are we doing it?
These are DISCUSSION boards, not mutual admiration boards. Discussion only occurs when we are willing to hear what others are thinking, regardless of whether it is alignment to our own thoughts.
JSquared2
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/23/17
#15Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/21/17 at 8:03pm
TheGingerBreadMan said: "We live in a world where people's chances and opportunities are hindered or obliterated every single day due to stereotypes and assumptions that are made about them before they even have a chance to show who they are. While these jokes do not necessarily persecute any specific group of people to the extent that has become a problem in our society, I hate the very principle of stereotyping and dislike anything to do with it. I'm not trying to stop you from laughing and having fun, only pointing out that jokes like this stem from the same ideology that essentially ruins lives.
Say that I'm uptight or don't have a sense of humor, that's fine. I don't find stereotype jokes funny.
Gee I bet you're fun at parties!
sabrelady
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/16/03
#16Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/21/17 at 8:42pm
My Stage manager version went-
How many stage managers does it take to change alight bulb?
"I don't CARE- just DO IT!"
#17Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/21/17 at 9:20pm
How many divas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? "I can't deal with this now, I'm in TECH!"
#18Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/22/17 at 12:32am
My all-time favorite:
How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One - and about five hundred others to watch and say, "That should be me up there."
#19Theatre Light Bulb Jokes
Posted: 8/22/17 at 5:13am
I'm sure there are more theatre related jokes out there. Please share.
"Noel [Coward] and I were in Paris once. Adjoining rooms, of course. One night, I felt mischievous, so I knocked on Noel's door, and he asked, 'Who is it?' I lowered my voice and said 'Hotel detective. Have you got a gentleman in your room?' He answered, 'Just a minute, I'll ask him.'" (Beatrice Lillie)
