Show tunes or lines that describe the election

[AHLiebross]

Since those of us in the United States are coming to the end of an interminable election that is the craziest many of us can remember (even worse than the 2000 hanging chad mess that gave us the Iraq war), I thought it would be time to apply whole songs or lines from plays, musicals, or songs that sum it up. Here are the two I thought of, but I know there are tons of others:

"You try my patience. Make your choice!" -- The Phantom to Christine, "The Phantom of the Opera."

"One week [day] more before the storm..." -- "Les Miz," One Day More.

I'm sure our snarkmeisters can think of much better ones.

Audrey Liebross

[jpbran]

"Totally F*CKed."  (whether he wins OR loses, he's gonna make things miserable)

[DefyMe]

Obviously The Reynolds Pamphlet from Hamilton. Might as well get it out of the way XD

[BroadwayConcierge]

"Thank Goodness" from Wicked seems to do the job.

Hillary -- "I hear that she can shed her skin as easily as a snake!"

Trump -- "Like some terrible [orange] blizzard throughout the land [he] flies...!"

[CindersGolightly]

Donald Trump: "Stop! Don't! No! Please!" (Mama, I'm a Big Girl Now from "Hairspray"

[broadwayguy91]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac_Tt_GFjEs 

for those who find both candidates deplorable

[iNick1224]

Science fiction double feature at the late night double feature picture show 

[Dysquith13]

"You are foul smelling, shriveled, and weak! You are losers." (Matilda)

"They don't have a plan, they just hate mine!" (Hamilton, but let's be real, the entirety of Act 2 is a goldmine)

 

[denali.fire]

"What the fu<k"  

if/then

[South Florida]

Great thread AH.

 

[Crazy NooNooHead]

"Something stinks. Something immoral. Something so bad that words have lost their meaning." ~Falsettos~

[MrsSallyAdams]

"The Last Midnight"

To my angry Bernie and third party supporting friends.
You're so nice. You're not good, you're not bad, you're just nice.
I'm not good I'm not nice I'm just right. I'm the witch. You're the world!

and if you-know-who wins:
I'm leaving you alone. You can tend the garden. It's yours.
Separate and alone. Everybody down on all fours.

 

"Want you Gone" by Jonathan Coulton (not a showtune but it applies)

To the GOP post election:
"You've got your
short sad life left
That's what I'm counting on
I'll let you get right to it
Now I only want you gone"

[TheGingerBreadMan]

To anyone thinking of voting for the orange lizardman -

"Oh no. You don't dare." -The History of Wrong Guys, Kinky Boots

[philly03]

"Out for Blood" - Carrie, complete with the original staging.

[Ado Annie D'Ysquith]

"If I don't stay I'll no longer be a temptation for the others to, do something dreadful- something, they'll regret for the rest of their lives!" -Anton Schell in The Visit

[quizking101]

ONE NIGHT ONLY. LET'S NOT PRETEND TO CARE!!!!

I'd also kill to see Trump as Evillene singing "Don't Nobody Bring Me No Bad News"

 

[uncageg]

Hopefully, the Cell Block Tango line " He had it coming" on election night.

[South Florida]

"Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid"

[Dallas Theatre Fan]

The conversation between Will and Ziegfeld's Favorite right before, "Our Favorite Son" in The Will Rogers Follies.   

[Ado Annie D'Ysquith]

Why did they ever cut the Suffragette element and song from the Mary Poppins stage show? It made Winifred Banks such a great character.

[South Florida]

I blew it.  I just assumed that it was in the play.

"Our daughters daughters will adore us..."

 

[saxpower]

From Little Shop of Horrors (the title of which also fits)

"What a creepy thing to be happening"

 

From Evita:

It's annoying that we have to fight elections for our cause/

The inconvenience--having to get a majority/

If normal methods of persuasion fail to win us applause/

There are other ways of establishing authority

(We have ways of making you vote for us, or at least of making you abstain)

 

[Crazy NooNooHead]

Both of these are for people who don't like either candidate.

"And so we say up to the sky, Hasa Diga Eebowai!" ~The Book Of Mormon~

"Life's a sham and every move is wrong." ~Falsettos~

[Another Winter]

From Legally Blonde from the the perspective of the Greek Chorus talking to Hillary

"Honey whatcha cryin at?
You're not losing [the presidency] to that
Both [his] hair and shoes are flat
Why is [he] so rude?"

 

[Mr. Nowack]

From FOLLIES:

"There is no hope"