Saw and was ignored by Bette Midler yesterday

[Sylver1]

At an antique show yesterday in NYC and as I was about to leave in walks Bette Midler. TINY...thin...good shape....walked right next to me....said "Love you, Miss Midler"....not a look, not a glance, not a smile and certainly not a "thank you." So of course I discreetly watched her for a few minutes....other people recognized her....no response....like she was stone cold deaf. Heard a dealer say the same thing to her...."love you"....Bette is looking at her jewelry case and facing her.....NOTHING...walked up to the dealer and said that she treated me the same. VERY disappointing. I was respectful, not giddy...did not have my hand out expecting or asking for a hand shake and certainly didn't have my phone out for a selfie. Truly tacky. A quick smile from her...that's it...would have meant a lot. I am 60 and first saw her a century ago at the "Schaefer Music Festival" in Central Park...tickets were $2.50!!!! So I knew her when....Felt like saying to her that between concerts, cd's, movies etc. I bet I paid for her shoes....you can't acknowledge a fan who helped give you the life you live?.. ..again...TACKY! 

 

An addendum. After getting flamed virtually non stop with a few kind exceptions.....let me add this. I see this as a matter of manners. Intellectually...to a point.... I get that a performer owes me nothing but a good performance. Fine. So I guess I don't need to applaud or show any gratitude for a job well done. I paid my money. You are supposed to be good so I guess it is OK to sit after that performance and do nothing. Applause is just one of those little niceties that make life just a tad better for all. Had Ms. MIdler even looked at me I never would have written this. I didn't want a relationship...a picture..or an autograph from Miss Midler. That was clear in my behavior. I was disappointed that I was dismissed. It is not about entitlement or that she owes me or anything like that even in light of my "I paid for your shoes" comment above...it is about the little dance that we do a million times a day with everyone we meet. My actions were pure and they were kind and they were dismissed. Not saying she is an awful person and should be burned at the stake. I said her actions were "tacky" and I stand by that. 

[LizzieCurry]

thank you... for joining just to say that... truly an honor

[dramamama611]

Tacky is joining a discussion board just to trash someone.  

[Jordan Catalano]

Please describe your thought process from the time this horrible incident occurred to when you decided you needed to join a theater message board to let us here know what happened. 

[Sylver1]

Wow....charming replies...quite simply, I have looked at this board for years....YEARS...never felt the need to say or write anything before. No longer live in NYC and can't truly comment on current Broadway theater and felt it important to only comment on things I know something about. If you had loved someone for years and whose persona struck you as approachable and warm and were treated this way perhaps you would feel strongly about it as well and therefor "join" and post. Post is completely true...no embellishment. And I was not singled out for the dismissal I received from her. I have been as much a part of these boards as most of you....so that I joined to trash her is far from accurate. 

[LizzieCurry]

You need a blog.

[lovebwy]

I would tend to give her a pass. We can all have an off day. When a homeless asks me for money, I usually say "sorry, bro". But there have been times when I've been in a bad mood and just ignored them. Not proud of it, but there you go.

[ClydeBarrow]

[Sylver1]

Fair point and well said as opposed to the general bitchiness for just the sake of it by others here. GRACI.

[dramamama611]

Yes, because its never YOUR fault anyone responded to you negatively, right?

 

I stand by my comment....which was not bitchy at all.

 

BTW...you didn't MEET her, you happen to see her when she was just trying to live her life.  Do you have any idea how hard it is just to do that when you are someone as well recognized at Bette?

 

[Sylver1]

Dramamama....your handle fits quite well it seems. And yes you are right...I did not in actuality "meet" her...but on a board where I have read every conceivable take on who signs at the stage door, who returns items sent to the theater for signature etc. etc.....did not feel my post was out of line for what is discussed here. I stand by my post and comments. Deal. 

[Jordan Catalano]

Welcome to broadway world, where we treat you better than Bette Midler!

[MOUSTACHA]

Playing devil's advocate here..

 

Imagine a life in which you're approached and expected to engage with strangers constantly.  Literally, you can not go in public without multiple people stopping you to compliment, comment, or engage in conversation.  It's incredibly tiring and frustrating.  Just because she doesn't respond doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate.  You are not expected to say anything to her, and in turn, she should not be expected to say anything back.  Sounds like she is just trying to live her life.  If she responds, great.  If not, just be happy you got to express your opinion and leave it at that. 

Being a celebrity isn't always a great thing, it really can be a struggle to try and maintain a normal life.

 

[BrodyFosse123]

Having worked with more than a handful of public personalities in the past, I've noticed that they tend to be selective about when to acknowledge fans who approach them and when to ignore everyone around them. They all responded that there are times when one just wants to be left alone and its best to not stop and acknowledge people. They are fully perceptive they are being a**holes but you need to control your personal life at the end of the day. They'll smile and acknowledge "fans" if they are on the street or elsewhere (even taking selfies with them) and then there are times that they float in their own bubble. It is what it is. If anything, you should have just moved on instead of "discreetly" stalking her. Really?

[Sylver1]

Interesting last two takes. I truly get a celebrity not wanting to be bothered, tired of it etc....on some level I get that...I was not interrupting a dinner at a restaurant etc.....guess it is just that at the end of the day people should be nice...just nice...again, I wasn't running at her playbill in hand wanting an autograph, selfie stick at the ready or doing anything that would cause her to stop and start chatting. It felt dismissive. I have run into a lot of famous people over the years by accident...no one ever behaved like that. Including names bigger than hers. But again, on some level I do get it...and I "stalked" her to just see what she did with others...for all of 3 minutes if it was even that long. And I saw the crushed looked on the dealers face who was treated the same. So there is also that. 

When Audra MacDonald tweets regrets that she couldn't sign that night at the stage door because she had to catch a plane etc...a simple nod would not have killed her. End of the world? Far from it...disappointing? Yes, as I have supported her work for 40 years...not that she had any way of knowing that. 

[ClydeBarrow]

You know what you can do to keep this from happening? Leave celebrities alone when they're out living their lives. Simple.

[PalJoey]

Funny a friend tweeted yesterday: 

 

Abt 2 call 911 to rpt crzy Bette Midler stalker at antique show.

[Patash]

I'd love to see a post  stating that Bette Midler was in LA this weekend.

 

 

[Mildred Plotka]

If we all owned a piece of every public figure there would be a specific piece of John Hamm's public figure with me right now. 

[Steve C.]

Yowza MP! I'd like some of that too! (and he doesn't have to say a word either)

[Jane2]

I had a very similar experience, only it was different. LOL. Anyway, I was an extra on the film She-Devil. I was placed standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Linda Hunt, an actress I greatly admired. Now, we had to stand, shoulders touching, all day long. I didn't say anything for a while, but I finally got the courage to look at her and say "I admire your work very much." She didn't ignore me. It was worse. She made a loud "harumph!"

 

At that point, I wished the ground would open up and swallow me in. I had to remain standing with Ms. Hunt for several more hours.

[Pootie2]

Sylver1 said: "When Audra MacDonald tweets regrets that she couldn't sign that night at the stage door because she had to catch a plane etc...a simple nod would not have killed her. End of the world? Far from it...disappointing? Yes, as I have supported her work for 40 years...not that she had any way of knowing that. 

"

So...you stalked...Bette Midler...because...she decided not to...stage door?

[BroadwayConcierge]

This entire thread has me cracking up so hard.

[Jane2]

^ oh good! laughing is very therapeutic!

[haterobics]

Sylver1 said: "...but on a board where I have read every conceivable take on who signs at the stage door, who returns items sent to the theater for signature etc."

 

Yeah, stage door threads never get bitchy on here...

 

I met Bette at the stage door once and she was so nice, but even so, she never calls, never writes...