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The Heckler: Why I'm allergic to Stephen Sondheim

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cardamon
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The article "The Heckler: Why I’m allergic to Stephen Sondheim" popped up on Google News today. I can't tell if it's supposed to be a joke or not.

It includes such choice quotes as:

"I’ve been the victim of a Sondheim evening only once in my life and I emerged feeling as if I’d been shrieked at for three hours by a gorilla with rabies."

and

"The rhymes are too haphazard to reveal a scheme or pattern. They just crop up at random like serial killers in a rural community."

and

"If you’re filling out a line with ‘dear’ or ‘dearie’, you’re very unwise to draw attention to your ineptitude with rhymes that feel forced. ‘Query’ is an unconvincing alternative to ‘ask’ or ‘wonder’. ‘Hara kiri’ is just bizarre. And ‘dearie’, if we’re honest, is not a word anyone would use except as an insult."

WTF?


The article in question.
Updated On: 3/21/15 at 11:06 PM
Mattbrain
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Hmph....it's a conservative rag.

And I imagine After Eight will be along to go down on this writer out of sheer gratitude (metaphorically speaking).
Butters, go buy World of Warcraft, install it on your computer, and join the online sensation before we all murder you. --Cartman: South Park ATTENTION FANS: I will be played by James Barbour in the upcoming musical, "BroadwayWorld: The Musical."
Updated On: 3/21/15 at 11:10 PM
After Eight
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Finally, FINALLY, someone speaks the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

It certainly took long enough.

But better late than never.

From the article:

"One final question for those fans. Why do your bonces explode when someone says Sondheim’s crap?"

Because the truth is anathema to them, that's why.
Mattbrain
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Yep, called it.
Butters, go buy World of Warcraft, install it on your computer, and join the online sensation before we all murder you. --Cartman: South Park ATTENTION FANS: I will be played by James Barbour in the upcoming musical, "BroadwayWorld: The Musical."
Phyllis Rogers Stone
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I bet your peepee got hard when you read it.
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ljay889
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Lmao. That thing hasn't been hard in centuries.
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Pfizer gave him a refund because even Viagra couldn't help.
Can you hear me now? Twitter: @NamoInExile
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While the article is certainly the equivalent of a 100 hits of Viagra for A8, I can't imagine much more activity than the twitch of his lower right eyelid. I hope that even such a small physiological response was as welcome as it was rare for our constant colleague.
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No opinion here, but for the record, this is what Lloyd Evans (aka "The Heckler") does. No one would expect anything different from him. Other recent articles:

"Why George Bernard Shaw was an overrated babbler"

"The Book of Mormon — toothless, jokeless, plotless and pointless"

"Phyllida Lloyd has nothing but contempt for her audience"

"Memo to Nick Payne: filling your plays with cosmic chit-chat doesn’t make you intelligent"

"The National Theatre of Scotland has done more to demean Scotland’s cultural reputation than anything I can think of"

"Tom Stoppard: too clever by half"

and onward...

The Heckler
"Tracy... Hold Mama's waffles."
Updated On: 3/23/15 at 01:05 AM
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cardamon
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Thanks followspot. I guess I stumbled across the UK version of John Simon. How unfortunate.
FindingNamo
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What I love is that AfterEating acts like nobody has ever said these things about Sondheim ever in the history of ever. He's not what you'd call widely read, I guess.
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But those kinds of articles have been censored by the theatre critics, who are in a massive conspiracy to force audiences to love Sondheim/Fun Home/Hamilton/everything After Eight despises. Now everyone has to say they love Sondheim, or it's off to the re-education camp. I mean, this is pretty common knowledge at this point.
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Oh boy, After Eight is at it again.
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I have to say that Sondheim is one of the reasons many people hate musicals. Most of his lyrics are unnecessary. Combine that with too many repetitions and strange rhymes and farfetched melodies, it gets to a point where you just think: stop it!

I love many musicals, but only shows like Miss Saigon, where every lyric and melody has an effective purpose and goes somewhere.





Updated On: 3/22/15 at 06:55 AM
After Eight
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Followspot,

Thank you for those citations from Lloyd Evans.

Hail Lloyd Evans! A beacon in the darkness ---the voice of truth in a warped and corrupt world.
indytallguy
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"I have to say that Sondheim is one of the reasons many people hate musicals."

What nonsense.
After Eight
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"I have to say that Sondheim is one of the reasons many people hate musicals. Most of his lyrics are unnecessary. Combine that with too many repetitions and strange rhymes and farfetched melodies, it gets to a point wher you just think: stop it! "

Yes, indeed. Sitting through something like Sunday in the Park With George or Passion could make anyone give up on musicals forever.

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And, yet...it hasn't. It has actually had the very opposite effect on countless theatergoers worldwide.

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Everyone can like or dislike whatever they like or dislike, but to suggest that "many" people hate musicals "because" of Sondheim (or any other individual writer) or could "give up on musicals forever" because of him, is fatuous. The truth is, many people (perhaps most) hate musicals regardless of who wrote them, or from what era they arise. As for those who do like at least some musicals, Sondheim enjoys broad affection and it is willful ignorance to suggest otherwise. To suggest that anyone's taste is "the truth" is to misapprehend the essence of artistic endeavor and the way humans react to it. Agreeing with anyone's opinion (no matter how much of a minority view it is) is fine; drawing conclusions from that opinion as to those who do not agree with it is nescient.
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Sondheim writes very odd musicals. I'm not even sure that I would consider all of his shows musicals, but instead his own idea of what a musical is. He's my favorite composer and my top favorite musicals are all his, but i can understand why someone wouldn't like his shows. It's a similar case with Jason Robert Brown and ALW, some people love them and some don't.

I don't think that it's right to make someone feel inferior because they listen to a certain composer. That's just rude. So we should just all agree to disagree.
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You don't consider some of the musicals???? What can that possibly mean??
If we're not having fun, then why are we doing it? These are DISCUSSION boards, not mutual admiration boards. Discussion only occurs when we are willing to hear what others are thinking, regardless of whether it is alignment to our own thoughts.
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^they don't flow and have the same feeling as a "musical"
They're his own wonderful interpretation of what a musical is and some people may not like that. His musicals are actually very similar to modern classical music.
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Oh what BS, After Eight!

Sunday in the Park and Passion are both treasures that have given countless people, myself included, joy beyond belief. They are in the fact reasons we keep going back to the theater. Would that every new musical be as brilliant as Sunday in the Park or every character be as complexly drawn as Fosca!

Perhaps you should take Dot's advice and move on.
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AfterEight? Don't we mean AfterEighty?
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Well this is going as well as can be expected.
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