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Borderline Personality Disorder

FindingNamo
Broadway Legend
joined:7/22/03
Broadway Legend
joined:
7/22/03
Borderline Personality Disorder #26
Posted: 1/30/20 at 12:25am

Just reading that I would say my unprofessional opinion is that you earned your rest! Sounds like you worked hard! I mean, my guess is somebody who DIDN'T want to get better wouldn't be saying "This was the hardest thing ever but here's the good stuff I got out of it." That's impressive, man, good work.

Can you hear me now? Twitter: @NamoInExile
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sabrelady
Broadway Legend
joined:5/16/03
Broadway Legend
joined:
5/16/03
Borderline Personality Disorder #27
Posted: 1/30/20 at 12:37pm

Yes It sounds like you have a path now. Keep up the good work!yesheart​​​​​​

Words that confuse censors:Fecund,penal,taint, titmouse, cockatoo,coccyx, ballcock, cockeye, prickly,kumquat, titter,cunning linguist, insertion, gobble, guzzle, swallow, manhole, rimshot,ramrod,come, fallacious, lugubrious,rectify,Uranus, angina, paradiddle,spotted dick,dictum, frock,cunctation, engorge,turgid,stiff, bush, uvula, crapulence, masticate, Dick Butkus, gherkin and of course the always bewildering lickety split. As you can see, context is every thing. Chuck Lorre Addendum: 555 382 5968 "Sexarama, Hexarama, Queeriosis, Feariosis!" Alec Baldwin “I’m going to have to science the shit outta this.” The Martian
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Mike Barrett
Broadway Legend
joined:4/13/13
Broadway Legend
joined:
4/13/13
Borderline Personality Disorder #28
Posted: 1/30/20 at 1:54pm

Thanks for the kind words y'all heart

 

Still a long process to get through. I am doing more DBT now moving forward, along with twice a week doing group sessions of other people who either have BPD or are suffering from severe or chronic depression. It will be a good thing to get me out and about more. Slowly getting there and taking things one day at a time. Thanks as always for the support here, it truly means a lot! 

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Mike Barrett
Broadway Legend
joined:4/13/13
Broadway Legend
joined:
4/13/13
Borderline Personality Disorder #29
Posted: 2/11/20 at 9:55am

So DBT therapy sucks. Its extremely intensive and I am trying to work and find a job but doing so with this therapy is impossible. Im not sure how anybody can do this. Obviously its only been a week but its simply too much for me. Another victory for BPD! 

Impossible2
Broadway Legend
joined:3/31/18
Broadway Legend
joined:
3/31/18
Borderline Personality Disorder #30
Posted: 2/11/20 at 6:59pm

Mike Barrett said: "So DBT therapy sucks. Its extremely intensive and I am trying to work and find a job but doing so with this therapy is impossible. Im not sure how anybody can do this. Obviously its only been a week but its simply too much for me. Another victory for BPD!"

I understand it is brutal and a long hard process, but you really should continue treatment.

Take it at your own pace though, you shouldn't be rushing it or be forced to rush it, you should do it as you feel comfortable. It is extremely damaging to rush such a mentally intrusive process.

Baby steps x

FindingNamo
Broadway Legend
joined:7/22/03
Broadway Legend
joined:
7/22/03
Borderline Personality Disorder #31
Posted: 2/13/20 at 11:44pm

I feel for you Mike. 

Can you hear me now? Twitter: @NamoInExile
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Mike Barrett
Broadway Legend
joined:4/13/13
Broadway Legend
joined:
4/13/13
Borderline Personality Disorder #32
Posted: 3/5/20 at 9:12pm
I guess just venting, this is the worst disease to live with and it makes getting up everyday honestly extremely difficult. I had a few dates with a man and after a few dates I opened up about this and he literally got up and left the tables and said “I don’t deal with the crazy”. Like, way to dehumanize me dude. This just sucks, I don’t find DBT to be working or any of my anti-depressants I have been on for 7 months now, so ya, sorry if this seems like a useless post but I’m quite frustrated and lost at the moment
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend
joined:7/22/03
Broadway Legend
joined:
7/22/03
Borderline Personality Disorder #33
Posted: 3/6/20 at 7:46pm

Sorry about that, man. Sometimes people don't have anything in them to spare to share a burden. And sometimes people are a-holes.

Can you hear me now? Twitter: @NamoInExile
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Mister Matt
Broadway Legend
joined:5/17/03
Broadway Legend
joined:
5/17/03
Borderline Personality Disorder #34
Posted: 3/9/20 at 4:50pm

My hat is off to you for your honesty and self-awareness, which is HUGE.  A lot of people with BPD are either in self-denial or refuse to be diagnosed which can lead to mass destruction.  As for the date, though I know it's no real consolation for his behavior, at least it was only a few dates in instead of a few years in.  Have you checked with any LGBT group resources in your area?  There are kind and supportive hotties out there.  They might be hard to find, but they DO exist!  Namo is one of them.  Borderline Personality Disorder

"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend
joined:7/22/03
Broadway Legend
joined:
7/22/03
Borderline Personality Disorder #35
Posted: 3/11/20 at 1:01am

HA! And MisterMatt is obviously good at helping with depression and anxiety by making somebody laugh.

Can you hear me now? Twitter: @NamoInExile
yankeefan7
Broadway Legend
joined:4/14/12
Broadway Legend
joined:
4/14/12
Borderline Personality Disorder #36
Posted: 3/11/20 at 9:31am

I wish I could help but hopefully others here can assist you. Hang in there !!

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Mike Barrett
Broadway Legend
joined:4/13/13
Broadway Legend
joined:
4/13/13
Borderline Personality Disorder #37
Posted: 3/11/20 at 1:41pm

Sorry, tad late responding to you all. Very kind repsonses as always which I do genuinely take to heart ,so I appreciate you guys! Sadly not many LGBT groups in my area, they exist, but they're just simply not great. Not even talking about eye candy they just aren't well run or organized cause its a much smaller community. Im doing better, I definitely know that guy is an a-hole and his comment speaks to him and not me but its certainly frustrating. It in no way diminishes my friends struggle as everything is relative to ones life, but hearing how they go on dates frequently (forget the fact they're straight and thins have in general been easier for them) and don't have things work out then get so frustrated I sometimes wanna be like, "You're gonna be fine" when I know, someone like myself, won't be. Maybe its a selfish thought, but I genuinely believe I just won't be able to find love with this disease. It sucks, and it doesn't make me not feel bad for any of my friends but I'm also like, ya, you guys will be fine. This is a temporary issue for them while I feel mine is life long. But again, might be too self pitying 

SporkGoddess
Broadway Legend
joined:7/27/05
Broadway Legend
joined:
7/27/05
Borderline Personality Disorder #38
Posted: 3/23/20 at 9:14am

There's a very effective treatment for BPD called dialectical behavior therapy, or DBT. I'd check to see if there is any availability for it in your area--usually there is in large metropolitan areas. You have to be willing to commit to changing certain behaviors and patterns, of course (which it sounds like you would be).

 

 

 

Jimmy, what are you doing here in the middle of the night? It's almost 9 PM!
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Mike Barrett
Broadway Legend
joined:4/13/13
Broadway Legend
joined:
4/13/13
Borderline Personality Disorder #39
Posted: 4/3/20 at 12:43pm
So as one could imagine, online DBT and other therapies are not very effective for me. At least my experience with my doctors/psychiatrists has been each meeting feels less personal not being there in person, it almost feels scripted, less organic, less natural. I feel because of this I haven’t been able to get the full treatment I need. Plus, because of backup my medication will arrive a FULL week late, so doing my best to maintain sanity here.

Sadly this has been tough. I live with my parents who are in the direct line of Fire for corona and it’s gives me nauseating anxiety daily. I don’t want to get sick, but I fear they will. It’s been scary although we have only left our home to grocery shop and my mother is the only one in her office so we are relatively safe.

My coping mechanism has sadly been weed, as it has been for years. Unfortunately I’m starting to feel the effects of being a smoker. For the last 2 weeks I’ve been smoking daily, and HEAVILY. From when I wake up until I go to bed. I know it’s as bad as it sounds. I generally have good hygiene although the last 2 days have been filled with panic attacks so I admit I’ve gotten backed up.

Because of this, I noticed a few bumps on the hack of my tongue and I think it’s Transient Lingual Papillitis. Doesn’t seem serious and I just need better hygiene but with my anxiety, as you can imagine, I’m freaking out! I’m just trying to enjoy a joint goddamnit!

So, I’m making the true and honest effort to quit smoking today. I can feel it in my chest as well now. It’s sad, weed was (pathetically) one of the few things I looked forward to.

While we all have our mental struggles, espeically in a time like this, there are many who suffer daily with mental struggles and what’s going on in the world truly feels like it’s all collapsing. There are a lot of people to be thinking and/or praying about now, many if not all of whom are more important than I am, but please all remember those right now who struggle with mental illness. It’s so often ignored in this country and there are so many struggling like crazy right now just to get through each day. So, say a prayer for them too!

Just thought I’d post an update with my experiences. Feel free to share yours. I wish everyone, including the Mods who are harp on a lot, ALL the best and most safety during this time!

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