Humans of New York - Broadway post- Page 2

[Broadway Joe]

Posted: 5/16/17 at 3:11pm

LYLS3637 said: "Broadway Joe said: "So if this guy just goes up to random people on the street everything they say is true? If he interviewed me I could literally say whatever story I wanted and he would just post it? Does he fact check this stuff before posting? I don't think it's being unreasonable to think that there is a chance that this is bs. I'm not denying that the actor is a piece of garbage if this is all true but there are no facts here."

Given that 24 people per minute are victims of domestic violence in this country yet 70% of cases go unreported and less than 5% of those reported are falsified, you don't get to blame the victim. 

This situation calls for a response of "Thank you for being brave enough to report your abuse and ensuring he was put in front of a judge." 

Any other response is partly responsible for that 70% stat. 

 

"

Yeah, I never said I'm blaming the victim and I don't blame the victim because I don't believe this even happened. 

[kaykordeath]

Posted: 5/16/17 at 3:14pm

Jane2 said: "
He photographed me for the website several years ago. It wasn't for any serious situation, it was about what I was wearing. I think he became more interesting since then.

 

"

He runs the gamut. He does some very light and fluffy pieces (especially with little kids he finds fashionable, and couples) to serious pieces like this not to mention a number of series outside of New York including third world sites.

[ScottyDoesn'tKnow2]

Posted: 5/16/17 at 7:47pm

This thread is a true illustration of society and why there is a history of underreported abuse (from victim blaming to not trusting the credibility of the victim to shame for being "stupid" enough to put yourself in that situation to safety concerns, financial dependency, truly believing it won't happen again, blaming yourself for triggering it, etc.). I mean I get being skeptical and wanting more evidence if she had named names and someone's guilt/innocence and reputation was on the line. However, it's just a person on the streets of the city telling her story, like every other Humans of New York entry. Why does it matter so much if you believe this story where nobody was named and you don't even know who the person telling the story is for you to figure out who is involved nor is anyone asking you to believe it or to render a verdict? It's not like a story similar to this hasn't happened to many people.

Also, the posts about people choosing to stay in violent domestic situations and how it's their fault need to read up on the cycle of abuse. It wouldn't be so common among victims across many boundaries if people could just easily leave.

Updated On: 5/16/17 at 07:47 PM

[newintown]

Posted: 5/17/17 at 11:58am

Kad asked "Why the hell would an anonymous woman say she was physically abused?"

It doesn't seem to take great imagination to visualize a Munchausen syndrome kind of person (or someone suffering from some degree of paranoia, schizophrenia, or the like) who creates imaginary tales of illness or victimization. I'm not saying, of course, that this is the case here. But we all are, I think, given the ability to imagine any sort of plausible scenario (although those with a wider range of life experiences can possibly imagine more than those who have led a rather homogenous, unchallenged life).

Well meaning laymen might also be advised to avoid the common pitfall of ascribing near-sainthood to the abused; as those in the business of social work know, repetitively abusive relationships generally involve two people who both suffer from sympathetic pathological traits, and both parties need a lot of counseling and help to change those behaviors. Without help, the abuser will continue to abuse, and the abused will continue to seek out abusers. This is not "victim blaming," but a strategic approach to solving a problem.

But why is this not on Other Topics?

[BJR]

Posted: 5/17/17 at 12:11pm

LYLS3637 said: "Broadway Joe said: "So if this guy just goes up to random people on the street everything they say is true? If he interviewed me I could literally say whatever story I wanted and he would just post it? Does he fact check this stuff before posting? I don't think it's being unreasonable to think that there is a chance that this is bs. I'm not denying that the actor is a piece of garbage if this is all true but there are no facts here."

Given that 24 people per minute are victims of domestic violence in this country yet 70% of cases go unreported and less than 5% of those reported are falsified, you don't get to blame the victim. 

This situation calls for a response of "Thank you for being brave enough to report your abuse and ensuring he was put in front of a judge." 

Any other response is partly responsible for that 70% stat. 

THIS.

This is the only proper response.

No one is asking for your opinion of whether or not you believe someone's story.

And think about it - if you're right and it's not true, what is gained? She isn't slandering his name, as she doesn't mention who it is or even show her own face. And if you're wrong and it's all true, all you did was keep the stigma and shame for reporting abuse alive and strong for someone else who might read your words.

And for what? Why on earth still insist your judgement and opinion are worth so much?

 

[Broadway Joe]

Posted: 5/17/17 at 12:28pm

BJR said: "LYLS3637 said: "Broadway Joe said: "So if this guy just goes up to random people on the street everything they say is true? If he interviewed me I could literally say whatever story I wanted and he would just post it? Does he fact check this stuff before posting? I don't think it's being unreasonable to think that there is a chance that this is bs. I'm not denying that the actor is a piece of garbage if this is all true but there are no facts here."

Given that 24 people per minute are victims of domestic violence in this country yet 70% of cases go unreported and less than 5% of those reported are falsified, you don't get to blame the victim. 

This situation calls for a response of "Thank you for being brave enough to report your abuse and ensuring he was put in front of a judge." 

Any other response is partly responsible for that 70% stat. 

THIS.

This is the only proper response.

No one is asking for your opinion of whether or not you believe someone's story.

And think about it - if you're right and it's not true, what is gained? She isn't slandering his name, as she doesn't mention who it is or even show her own face. And if you're wrong and it's all true, all you did was keep the stigma and shame for reporting abuse alive and strong for someone else who might read your words.

And for what? Why on earth still insist your judgement and opinion are worth so much?

 

 

"

That's your opinion. This is a message board with differing opinions and I'm clearly not the only one who finds this story to be a bit of a fabrication, there were other posters in here, some who even said they were domestic abuse victims that find this story a bit hard to believe. 

You really think this man chased this woman down a NYC street and choked her and left her passed out on the street where nobody found her and it was never in the news? Nobody helped her? There are cameras on so many street corners and outside buildings here that it would easily be on at least one camera. Call me a skeptic if you want but I don't buy this at all. 

[eugenia2]

Posted: 5/17/17 at 12:41pm

uncageg said: "... let him abuse her."

at this point I don't care if the story is true or not.  This statement is idiotic & utterly gruesome victim blaming. 

 

"

 

[Kad]

Posted: 5/17/17 at 12:44pm

Broadway Joe said: "You really think this man chased this woman down a NYC street and choked her and left her passed out on the street where nobody found her and it was never in the news? Nobody helped her? There are cameras on so many street corners and outside buildings here that it would easily be on at least one camera. Call me a skeptic if you want but I don't buy this at all. "

Bystander Effect.

Also, the story ends with the fact that the abuser was charged.

Updated On: 5/17/17 at 12:44 PM

[UncleCharlie]

Posted: 5/17/17 at 1:04pm

newintown said: "Without help, the abuser will continue to abuse, and the abused will continue to seek out abusers. This is not "victim blaming," but a strategic approach to solving a problem.

 

Abused :Why do you always beat me?"

Abuser: "Because you clearly sought me out"

Abused: "But do you have to hurt and abuse me so badly?"

Abuser: "I don't view this as abuse. I view it as a strategic approach to solving the problem of you opening your goddamn mouth too much".

 

For those of us who've led a rather homogeneous, unchallenged life, thank goodness there are folks like you to help us better understand this.

[newintown]

Posted: 5/17/17 at 1:21pm

UncleCharlie, as a playwright, I think it needs to be acknowledged that your dialogue is greatly lacking in coherence and verisimilitude. And wit. And sense. It may have a bit of value as a good example of non sequitur, but not in a comically effective way. Perhaps it could be used as an example of "what to avoid."

But keep trying; I wouldn't want to stifle your voice.

[UncleCharlie]

Posted: 5/17/17 at 1:49pm

newintown said: "UncleCharlie, as a playwright, I think it needs to be acknowledged that your dialogue is greatly lacking in coherence and verisimilitude. And wit. And sense. It may have a bit of value as a good example of non sequitur, but not in a comically effective way. Perhaps it could be used as an example of "what to avoid."

But keep trying; I wouldn't want to stifle your voice.

 

I tried to write it with the same level of intelligence and insight I thought was present in your initial comment. In writing it, it wasn't easy to assume a persona with the right level of condescension and belief that I'm better and know so much more than everyone else to truly find my "voice" but I did the best I could. I look forward to continuing to learn from you.

 

[newintown]

Posted: 5/17/17 at 1:51pm

"I look forward to continuing to learn from you."

I get the distinct impression that you believe that you have nothing to learn about anything from anybody (and that, in fact, you feel its your mission to go out of your way to try to insult those who may know something you don't, or at least have differing information from yours), but if my instincts are wrong, then thank you.

Updated On: 5/17/17 at 01:51 PM

[UncleCharlie]

Posted: 5/17/17 at 2:00pm

newintown said: ""I look forward to continuing to learn from you."

I get the distinct impression that you believe that you have nothing to learn about anything from anybody (and that, in fact, you feel its your mission to go out of your way to try to insult those who may know something you don't, or at least have differing information from yours), but if my instincts are wrong, then thank you.

 

Quite the contrary. I believe my learning process will continue until the day I die, I believe you learn from everyone with whom you interact, both approaches, behaviors and philosophies to be emulated as well as those to be avoided.

 

[LYLS3637]

Posted: 5/17/17 at 2:12pm

Broadway Joe said: "That's your opinion. This is a message board with differing opinions and I'm clearly not the only one who finds this story to be a bit of a fabrication, there were other posters in here, some who even said they were domestic abuse victims that find this story a bit hard to believe. 

You really think this man chased this woman down a NYC street and choked her and left her passed out on the street where nobody found her and it was never in the news? Nobody helped her? There are cameras on so many street corners and outside buildings here that it would easily be on at least one camera. Call me a skeptic if you want but I don't buy this at all."

It's not yours to buy. If you want to think that this situation is one of the (less than) 5% of times that domestic violence reports are falsified, fine, but you deserve to be called out for ignoring facts.