Crescendo Falls: Beautiful People, Ugly Town

In my eighteen years in this town I've been kidnapped by a nun, taken hostage by a religious militia cult, fought off six different counts of date rape, been in eight near fatal car wrecks, two plane crashes, seventeen torrid affairs and a nasty jet ski accident. I'm tired.

Subtlety is not an issue in playwright/director Kevin Hammonds' wacky skewering of daytime soaps, Crescendo Falls. For those who prefer their daytime dramas in the evening Crescendo Falls offers a live continuing spoof opera, with each hour-long episode "airing" on consecutive weeks. (visit crescendofalls.com for schedule) Those who miss an episode will be caught up on the sexy and scandalous goings-on before each performance, but with so many twists and turns, trying to keep track of it all is part of the fun.

After a hilarious opening montage where each character poses menacingly for the camera, episode #1, Beautiful People, Ugly Town, introduces us to the residents of the thriving metropolis known as Crescendo Falls. The city's most famous corporation, Crescendo Records, is in a state of chaos because its founding owner, R. J. Covington, has just passed away and his surviving family members are left to compete for the power that remains.

R.J.'s suicidal widow, Phyllis (Diane Vilardi) is in no shape to run the company, but his will states that elder son Chase (Hammonds) may not take command until he and his alcoholic wife, Shiraz (Jennifer Winegardner) have produced an heir. Unfortunately, they are having some problems in the bedroom. ("I am not homosexual! I am a straight man with an impeccable sense of style!") Chase's sister Corrine (Jennifer Boutell) seems better qualified for the job, but she's been distracted by an attraction to their adopted brother, Hunter (Sean Attebury).

 Further complications are supplied by characters like the drastically overqualified receptionist (Lori Ann Struck), the company's new life coach (Winegardner), Chase's flamboyantly fabulous secretary (Brooks Braselman) and the pretty young country/western singer from the sticks to whom R.J. promised a recording contract just before he passed on (Jessica West Regan).

The ensemble cast dives in with an infectious sense of silliness and fun, with nearly every scene ending on a sinister note warning of scandals to come. Although the show is performed on a mostly bare stage, the actors look great in uncredited costumes, spiced up with a goofy assortment of wigs.

The producers of Crescendo Falls promise that regular viewers will be treated to some of the quirkiness that goes with long-running daytime dramas. New actors will suddenly take over roles that were previously played by others. Children go from conception to birth in a matter of weeks and grow into adulthood within months. Judging from the first fast-moving episode, it looks like this town will be worth several visits.

 

Photos by Linda Lenzi: Top: Sean Attebury, Lori Ann Strunk and Jennifer Boutell
Bottom: Jennifer Winegardner and Kevin Hammonds