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realjeffreyross on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/realjeffreyross
10/24 @ 8:03 AM
realjeffreyross - I feel so happy because I stayed up all night writing some quality entertainment for your future enjoyment. Nighty Roasters! I love you.????

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10/23 @ 8:04 PM
realjeffreyross - What's this Ebola I keep hearing about and how can I get some? @JenaFriedman

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10/23 @ 8:01 PM
realjeffreyross - Sometimes I wish I could just fuck my computer.

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10/23 @ 7:17 PM
realjeffreyross - #ThrowbackThursday to when I would bust my sister's balls. http://t.co/DZEHekDfGy

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10/23 @ 5:19 PM
realjeffreyross - I'm roastin' oil tycoons next week in Texas! RT @HeinCPA Join us 10/29 in Houston for the Roast & Toast w Jeff Ross! http://t.co/ql5nKkMj3R

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10/23 @ 4:59 PM
realjeffreyross - South Jersey/Philly, Next Saturday I'll be at The @BorgataAC drinking, performing, gambling and drinking. Come join me please.

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10/22 @ 7:07 PM
realjeffreyross - I had so much fun at @RoastBattle in LA last night. Thanks to @ToddGlass @rajskub @AriShaffir @NotoriousROD for rolling with the homies.

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10/22 @ 1:05 PM
realjeffreyross - This new @JimGaffigan book is hilarious especially if you like salad humor and such. It's called #FoodALoveStory. Download it on pietunes.

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10/21 @ 4:40 PM
realjeffreyross - NYC @RoastBattle ! ALSO @bonniemcfarlane VS @TheMikeLawrence Color commentary by @attell & @RealGilbert Nov 8th @GramercyTheatre 10PM

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10/21 @ 3:31 PM
realjeffreyross - NYC! It's a ROAST BATTLE Main Event. Killers @AriShaffir VS @bigjayoakerson Nov 8th. Gramercy Theater. Other battles announced later!

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10/21 @ 12:44 AM
realjeffreyross - My friend @amyschumer has some incredible new jokes. Go see her at Carnegie fuckin Hall next month.

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10/20 @ 11:46 PM
realjeffreyross - Retweet if you're fat.

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10/19 @ 1:52 PM
realjeffreyross - East coasters, I'm performing at The Borgata in Atlantic City Nov 1st & hosting Roast Battle at the Gramercy Theater in NYC Nov 8th. Ya dig?

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10/16 @ 4:40 AM
realjeffreyross - I'm excited to inhale @artiequitter's new stand-up special #TheStenchOfFailure. This sounds like a roast joke but it's not.

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10/13 @ 10:35 PM
realjeffreyross - New Yorkers, Don't miss @RoastBattle. One night only at the NY Comedy Festival! This will be really fuckin fun. http://t.co/GtPYcFE0QA

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10/13 @ 9:48 PM
realjeffreyross - Btw now I feel weird jerking off to "7th Heaven".

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10/13 @ 9:46 PM
realjeffreyross - I swear I just saw Kim Jong Un at my yoga class. (But may have been a lesbian).

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10/13 @ 4:41 PM
realjeffreyross - If I was gay I'd bang @Pontifex.

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10/12 @ 5:23 AM
realjeffreyross - Jealous Mikey? RT @michaelianblack It's so great at the end of the night to see all the self-congratulatory tweets. Good job, everyone.

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10/12 @ 5:18 AM
realjeffreyross - H bday to lil' Bobby too! RT @NickSwardson Thanks for the birthday wishes. I'm lucky to have great friends, family and fans. I love you all.

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10/11 @ 8:08 PM
realjeffreyross - Only if its mine RT @tgord78 @realjeffreyross can me & my wife come to your show tonite? She is 7 mths pregnant & all she wants is to see u?

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10/11 @ 5:11 PM
realjeffreyross - My Chicago shows have been so much fun. 10 tix just released for the late show tonite at 10:30 http://t.co/9zTB016pU5 http://t.co/GpHqrwPzya

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10/10 @ 5:58 PM
realjeffreyross - I'm SO excited about my new Man Cave. Love to @ArtieQuitter & @TonySiragusa for the hook up. Airs 9pm tonight on #DIYNetwork. #pokertable

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10/10 @ 3:55 PM
realjeffreyross - Chicago, Come see me tonight or tomorrow @UpComedyClub RT @GonzoFame Interview w/Roastmaster General!! http://t.co/4JdDJYRTIx

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10/9 @ 3:08 PM
realjeffreyross - Ernie Hudson finally has an excuse to get that sex change.

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10/9 @ 2:19 PM
realjeffreyross - Nice shot of Russell Simmons, John Mayer, Dave Chappelle, me & Sarah Silverman at @RoastBattle this week. http://t.co/Aheklszn4E

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10/9 @ 1:12 PM
realjeffreyross - GhostBUSTers!

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10/9 @ 10:55 AM
realjeffreyross - Crush it tonight at Madison Square Garden tonight buddy @azizansari. And wear a nice suit.

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10/9 @ 9:25 AM
realjeffreyross - Ok I'm headlining The Borgata in Atlantic City November 1st. RT @jlinse @realjeffreyross please come to philly or near philly soon!

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10/9 @ 9:16 AM
realjeffreyross - Chicago, I am in you tonite RT @UpComedyClub The Roastmaster himself is here this weekend. Shows Thurs, Fri, and Sat! http://t.co/9zTB016pU5

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10/9 @ 7:39 AM
realjeffreyross - I'm in Chicago this morning stopping by @WCIU_YouAndMe @GoodDayChicago @WGNMorningNews @WindyCityLIVE to hype shows @UpComedyClub Thurs-Sat

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10/8 @ 8:36 PM
realjeffreyross - On my way to Chicago to light up @UpComedyClub this Thursday, Friday & Saturday. You bring the pizza and pot and I'll bring the punchlines.

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10/7 @ 9:07 PM
realjeffreyross - I'm available. RT @THR 'Ted 2' Fires Actor Stephen Collins After Audio of Molestation Confession Emerges http://t.co/wowYSiYYJy

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10/7 @ 3:25 PM
realjeffreyross - I know the world is falling apart but on the bright side Abe Vigoda is still alive and well.

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10/7 @ 3:03 PM
realjeffreyross - Looks like #Ebola is trending on Twitter and in real life.

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10/6 @ 8:30 PM
realjeffreyross - Epic @RoastBattle tomorrow 9pm @TheComedyStore. @Ralphie_May vs @sarahtiana & @jessejoyce vs @Sherrod_Small. Judge is @SarahKSilverman.

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10/6 @ 4:46 PM
realjeffreyross - I'll be performing in my fourth favorite city CHICAGO this Thursday, Friday and Saturday. http://t.co/KjxzsN5goN

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10/5 @ 7:09 PM
realjeffreyross - Me. RT @JohnStamos Goodbye Nashville- More importantly goodbye White Castle. Who's with me?????

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10/5 @ 6:33 AM
realjeffreyross - Great crowd at my show in San Luis Obispo tonight. I'm feelin very ???x????? ???¿???¾æº¹n²mÅ??????? right now.

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10/4 @ 4:55 PM
realjeffreyross - Tonight in San Luis Obispo... Atone for your sins by coming to see me and opening act @benjiaflalo at The Freemont Theater. 8pm. ?

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