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realjeffreyross on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/realjeffreyross
8/31 @ 2:19 AM
realjeffreyross - You. RT @iamdiddy Who do you think stands between you and happiness?

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8/30 @ 10:17 PM
realjeffreyross - Saturday night's alright for fighting. I predict a 1st place finish for this mofo @MarcoAndretti #MavTV500 #indycar http://t.co/0JuzUScIzc

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8/30 @ 7:54 PM
realjeffreyross - Your Uber will arrive in 4 days.

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8/30 @ 6:44 PM
realjeffreyross - I want to be the first openly terrible player in the NFL.

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8/30 @ 2:42 PM
realjeffreyross - Can we talk?! @Joan_Rivers

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8/29 @ 2:35 PM
realjeffreyross - #FF my @WeddingRinger castmates @joshgad @KevinHart4real @KaleyCuoco @mrgarelick @Cloris_Leachman @missthirlby @AFFIONCROCKETT @NickyWhelan?

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8/29 @ 11:49 AM
realjeffreyross - Mazel Tov! My pals @bonniemcfarlane & @RichVos just gave birth to a new documentary titled, "Women Aren't Funny" https://t.co/lkuE0ydESf

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8/28 @ 7:53 PM
realjeffreyross - Don't worry folks, @Joan_Rivers won't die because she refuses to follow Robin Williams. Get well mama. We need you.

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8/28 @ 3:13 PM
realjeffreyross - Couldn't sleep. Upstairs neighbor's kid practicing his Uzi half the night. Must have an exam today. In my day we played with nunchuks. #fml

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8/28 @ 2:57 PM
realjeffreyross - I'd pray to God for her healthy recovery but she is my God. Love you @Joan_Rivers ! ? http://t.co/koiSLP2ouJ

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8/28 @ 2:45 PM
realjeffreyross - Also, "socks" are a real game changer. Thinking of getting some more. Anybody know where I can get some "blue" or "grey" socks?

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8/28 @ 2:36 PM
realjeffreyross - Recently discovered the joys of "brushing your teeth". Everybody should try it at least once. I highly recommend it! #yolo

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8/27 @ 9:48 PM
realjeffreyross - Uzi lessons - the only time the teachers are the ones raising their hands.

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8/27 @ 9:16 PM
realjeffreyross - My parents were strict - didn't let me take Uzi lessons until I was almost eleven.

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8/27 @ 4:04 PM
realjeffreyross - I accepted the #ALSIceBucketChallenge in front of 12,000 witnesses at #Oddballfest and my penis got frostbite. http://t.co/oniJWGnVDH

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8/27 @ 3:57 PM
realjeffreyross - I accepted the #ALSIceBucketChallenge in front of 12,000 witnesses at #Oddballfest and my penis got frostbite. http://t.co/Z22Pi8JFOd

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8/27 @ 1:59 AM
realjeffreyross - DALLAS RT @GCwriter04 Omg only 3 weeks cannot wait! @louisck @SarahKSilverman @realjeffreyross @marcmaron @funnyordie http://t.co/5dLgiFzYtO

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8/26 @ 5:54 PM
realjeffreyross - Should be a fun @RoastBattle midnight tonight at @TheComedyStore. No cover but must have thick skin to attend.

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8/26 @ 3:08 PM
realjeffreyross - Congrats to @chelseahandler for your amazing run on E! and for being on Byron Allen's "Comic's Unleashed" last night.

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8/26 @ 2:50 PM
realjeffreyross - Had a crazy dream that @SarahKSilverman rubbed my belly at #Oddballfest and won an Emmy! Yay! Wahoo! #WeAreMiracles http://t.co/XB5wFRB7mA

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8/26 @ 2:46 PM
realjeffreyross - Had a crazy dream that @SarahKSilverman rubbed my belly at #Oddballfest and won an Emmy! Yay! Wahoo! #WeAreMiracles http://t.co/JElkSmmsbD

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8/24 @ 11:25 PM
realjeffreyross - Ugh. It's 2014 and still no "Best Performance At A Roast" category at #VMA's or #Emmys. #equality

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8/23 @ 4:26 PM
realjeffreyross - Thx to cousin Rona & @starbop for the challenge. Now I challenge all my followers to take off your clothes & get wet #ALSIceBucketChallenge

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8/23 @ 4:09 PM
realjeffreyross - I accepted the #ALSIceBucketChallenge on stage last night at #Oddballfest Jones Beach. Here's the money shot. http://t.co/msuVUanLTc

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8/23 @ 4:08 PM
realjeffreyross - I accepted the #ALSIceBucketChallenge on stage last night at #Oddballfest Jones Beach. Here's the money shot. http://t.co/c9vqwe5cQl

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8/22 @ 3:35 PM
realjeffreyross - Thinking of accepting the ALS #IceBucketChallenge during #Oddballfest in NY tonite. Seems more fun than the Starbucks Hot Coffee Challenge.

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8/21 @ 9:06 PM
realjeffreyross - I'm hosting #Oddballfest at Jones Beach on Long Island tmrw with @attell @billburr @louisck @SarahKSilverman @hannibalburess @nerdist & more

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8/21 @ 6:15 PM
realjeffreyross - Thanks Bridget! Xo RT @bridgeteverett @realjeffreyross @attell you guys are masters and i would watch you every night. thank you! xx

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8/21 @ 6:15 PM
realjeffreyross - Wow delivery only took 4 yrs RT @BrianBenning2 @realjeffreyross hey RoastMaster check what arrived in the mail today. http://t.co/RbRDyBISzO

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8/21 @ 2:45 PM
realjeffreyross - Shout out to fat people with tans!

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8/21 @ 1:01 AM
realjeffreyross - Sympathy retweet RT @RachelFeinstein I'll B at Yuk Yuk's in Edmonton ths wknd, Aug 22 & 23! Get tix hre: http://t.co/QTXcUQhiMv

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8/20 @ 9:25 PM
realjeffreyross - Comedy is important and we need to laugh more than ever.

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8/20 @ 6:15 PM
realjeffreyross - I wouldn't ____ you with _________'s ____.

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8/20 @ 12:07 PM
realjeffreyross - I'm excited to host #Oddballfest Friday at Jones Beach with @louisck @SarahKSilverman @hannibalburess @billburr @nerdist @attell ?

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8/20 @ 3:00 AM
realjeffreyross - Looks like he's "looking for a girlfriend" to eat for dinner. RT @SophieTSimmons @realjeffreyross vintage #tinder http://t.co/lb7dGlMzfm

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8/19 @ 2:16 PM
realjeffreyross - I shaved my head after I accidentally took the "lice bucket challenge".

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8/17 @ 1:59 PM
realjeffreyross - I love bein a comedian. Hosting Jersey #Oddballfest tonite 7pm @louisck @SarahKSilverman @hannibalburess @attell @CheThinks @PNCArtsCenter

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8/16 @ 6:24 PM
realjeffreyross - Beyond excited to re-join #Oddballfest tomorrow in front of my hometown JERSEY people @PNCArtsCenter. I can smell it already. #thickskin

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8/15 @ 3:32 AM
realjeffreyross - Also happy birthday @DaveJuskow sorry i'm the only one who came to your party.

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8/15 @ 3:29 AM
realjeffreyross - Happy birthday @Sherrod_Small too bad nobody cares.

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