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realjeffreyross on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/realjeffreyross
10/31 @ 8:38 PM
realjeffreyross - Beware if you go out tonight the scariest people are the ones without the costumes.

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10/31 @ 5:16 PM
realjeffreyross - Happy Halloween! Check out my costume. http://t.co/8y9nPqJSFR

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10/31 @ 4:36 PM
realjeffreyross - Jersey/Philly! The real horror show is tomorrow when I hit the stage at The Borgata in Atlantic City and start rippin people apart. 9pm.

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10/31 @ 6:00 AM
realjeffreyross - Great job Thursday. See ya Friday. Nighty night.

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10/30 @ 3:45 PM
realjeffreyross - #ThrowbackThursday to when I ruled New Jersey long before @GovChristie, @CoryBooker and @springsteen. http://t.co/tBscVCvBZc

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10/30 @ 2:40 PM
realjeffreyross - Dear New Jerseyans, I love coming home. Meet me @BorgataAC Saturday night at 9pm and we can compare toxic waste stories.

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10/30 @ 1:48 PM
realjeffreyross - I roasted a bunch of oil men in Houston last night. They asked me not to use any bad words, like Hybrid or Solar or Obama.

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10/30 @ 4:59 AM
realjeffreyross - Thanks PP RT @PaulProvenza Last night's @RoastBattle was genius. Kudos to all involved. Hilarious & fearless. Check it out, peeps.

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10/30 @ 4:55 AM
realjeffreyross - Also fun spotting @JeffDye @Michaelkosta @TonyHinchcliffe @jeffleach at @RoastBattle last Tues. I love the show because I love comics.

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10/29 @ 8:05 PM
realjeffreyross - Ever wanted to see a live roast? Come witness ROAST BATTLE in NYC next Saturday night. It's so fuckin fun. http://t.co/vF22PHakWB

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10/29 @ 4:10 PM
realjeffreyross - Wahoo @AriShaffir @PaulProvenza @SimplyDon1 @BrodyismeFriend @guybranum @TheMikeLawrence @domirrera @joerogan all @RoastBattle last nite!!

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10/29 @ 12:37 PM
realjeffreyross - It's #NationalCatDay. Sneeze if you love cats.

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10/28 @ 8:40 PM
realjeffreyross - Dirty Jersey! RT @PrestonSteve933 New Jersey's own @realjeffreyross is performing @BorgataAC this Sat! Get tickets: http://t.co/6a47X4fxp4

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10/28 @ 3:51 PM
realjeffreyross - Wazzup Noreaga the DICTATOR!! RT @noreaga Jeff Ross the ROAST KING!!! http://t.co/jULSsbCMkC @Whats_Next_Ed @KevinSchini

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10/28 @ 11:08 AM
realjeffreyross - Got @RoastBattle tonite in LA. Charity gig at House Of Blues in Houston tomorrow. Night off in NYC for Halloween. Then @BorgataAC on Sat.

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10/28 @ 10:51 AM
realjeffreyross - I ?? ????

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10/28 @ 10:49 AM
realjeffreyross - I'm ashamed I'm proud of you. RT @nottjmiller My father: I'm ashamed of you. My mother: I'm so proud of you. Me: I'm confused about myself.

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10/28 @ 5:00 AM
realjeffreyross - ????

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10/25 @ 4:34 PM
realjeffreyross - New Jersey! Philly! My pal @bobsaget is performing at The Music Box Theater in AC tonight. Save me some scotch Bob, I'm there next Saturday.

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10/25 @ 8:11 AM
realjeffreyross - Yes! Better than the song! RT @AJemaineClement @RollingStones @realjeffreyross Didn't know that this was originally a tweet!

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10/25 @ 8:05 AM
realjeffreyross - Remind me never to go to that ebowling alley in New York.

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10/24 @ 8:03 AM
realjeffreyross - I feel so happy because I stayed up all night writing some quality entertainment for your future enjoyment. Nighty Roasters! I love you.????

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10/23 @ 8:04 PM
realjeffreyross - What's this Ebola I keep hearing about and how can I get some? @JenaFriedman

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10/23 @ 8:01 PM
realjeffreyross - Sometimes I wish I could just fuck my computer.

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10/23 @ 7:17 PM
realjeffreyross - #ThrowbackThursday to when I would bust my sister's balls. http://t.co/DZEHekDfGy

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10/23 @ 5:19 PM
realjeffreyross - I'm roastin' oil tycoons next week in Texas! RT @HeinCPA Join us 10/29 in Houston for the Roast & Toast w Jeff Ross! http://t.co/ql5nKkMj3R

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10/23 @ 4:59 PM
realjeffreyross - South Jersey/Philly, Next Saturday I'll be at The @BorgataAC drinking, performing, gambling and drinking. Come join me please.

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10/22 @ 7:07 PM
realjeffreyross - I had so much fun at @RoastBattle in LA last night. Thanks to @ToddGlass @rajskub @AriShaffir @NotoriousROD for rolling with the homies.

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10/22 @ 1:05 PM
realjeffreyross - This new @JimGaffigan book is hilarious especially if you like salad humor and such. It's called #FoodALoveStory. Download it on pietunes.

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10/21 @ 4:40 PM
realjeffreyross - NYC @RoastBattle ! ALSO @bonniemcfarlane VS @TheMikeLawrence Color commentary by @attell & @RealGilbert Nov 8th @GramercyTheatre 10PM

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10/21 @ 3:31 PM
realjeffreyross - NYC! It's a ROAST BATTLE Main Event. Killers @AriShaffir VS @bigjayoakerson Nov 8th. Gramercy Theater. Other battles announced later!

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10/21 @ 12:44 AM
realjeffreyross - My friend @amyschumer has some incredible new jokes. Go see her at Carnegie fuckin Hall next month.

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10/20 @ 11:46 PM
realjeffreyross - Retweet if you're fat.

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10/19 @ 1:52 PM
realjeffreyross - East coasters, I'm performing at The Borgata in Atlantic City Nov 1st & hosting Roast Battle at the Gramercy Theater in NYC Nov 8th. Ya dig?

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10/16 @ 4:40 AM
realjeffreyross - I'm excited to inhale @artiequitter's new stand-up special #TheStenchOfFailure. This sounds like a roast joke but it's not.

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10/13 @ 10:35 PM
realjeffreyross - New Yorkers, Don't miss @RoastBattle. One night only at the NY Comedy Festival! This will be really fuckin fun. http://t.co/GtPYcFE0QA

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10/13 @ 9:48 PM
realjeffreyross - Btw now I feel weird jerking off to "7th Heaven".

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10/13 @ 9:46 PM
realjeffreyross - I swear I just saw Kim Jong Un at my yoga class. (But may have been a lesbian).

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10/13 @ 4:41 PM
realjeffreyross - If I was gay I'd bang @Pontifex.

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10/12 @ 5:23 AM
realjeffreyross - Jealous Mikey? RT @michaelianblack It's so great at the end of the night to see all the self-congratulatory tweets. Good job, everyone.

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