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http://www.twitter.com/TheDailyShow
11/28 @ 3:29 PM
TheDailyShow - Join us in celebrating Black Friday, the day everyone says "Screw giving thanks for what we have; what are we gonna GET?"

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11/28 @ 1:26 PM
TheDailyShow - The #DailyShow staff reveals where to get the best slice in NY. http://t.co/ZkPXBJ97Vu

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11/28 @ 11:00 AM
TheDailyShow - Black Friday tips: Wear slippers to avoid hurting people when you trample them going into Best Buy.

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11/27 @ 3:29 PM
TheDailyShow - Fun Thanksgiving fact: cranberry sauce coming out of the can is exactly what it sounds like when seals do it.

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11/27 @ 11:27 AM
TheDailyShow - Happy Thanksgiving! Celebrate by kicking an indigenous turkey off of your plate and into your belly!

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11/26 @ 12:22 PM
TheDailyShow - Get ready for Thanksgiving by listening to a new #DailyShowPodcast about pizza. http://t.co/WOw4ebDGjh

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11/26 @ 12:01 PM
TheDailyShow - There's still time to win your very own taped interview with Jon Stewart: http://t.co/NfUAtAHfmy. Proceeds benefit @missioncontinue

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11/25 @ 9:30 PM
TheDailyShow - This Thanksgiving try the ULTIMATE meat lover's dish, "TurBeefMan" - turkey stuffed in cow, stuffed in human. Delicious!

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11/24 @ 6:29 PM
TheDailyShow - Tip for a happy Thanksgiving: don't bother explaining to your grandmother that "Black Friday" and "Kwanzaa" are two different things.

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11/22 @ 1:26 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Anti-gay National Organization for Marriage in serious debt. Refuses to claim bankruptcy because it's "not natural."

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11/21 @ 3:25 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Study: Women bosses 'more depressed' than male counterparts. Definitely has nothing to do with smaller paychecks.

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11/21 @ 2:29 PM
TheDailyShow - Jon and Eddie Redmayne talk "The Theory of Everything." http://t.co/me1fRYeyff http://t.co/7gVld7w5b5

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11/20 @ 10:55 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight! Jon welcomes Eddie Redmayne, star of Stephen Hawking biopic. Will ask him to explain all of quantum physics

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11/20 @ 8:25 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Today is Joe Biden's birthday. Blows out candles, wishes that we discover Hillary's Kenyan birth certificate.

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11/20 @ 9:43 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Secret Service chief says morale is suffering at the agency. "Morale" = top secret codename for "Protecting the President."

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11/19 @ 10:55 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight! Chris Christie proves he can be a dick to other species, too!

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11/19 @ 8:43 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Al Sharpton owes $4.5 mil in unpaid taxes. Sharpton: "Is yelling into a camera not an acceptable currency anymore?"

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11/19 @ 6:55 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Study: Men may be more helpful to women wearing heels. Heels: Think of them as breasts for your feet.

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11/19 @ 4:49 PM
TheDailyShow - Benedict Cumberbatch full interview: http://t.co/4g1RweG8Ye http://t.co/CUymzRMJXi

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11/19 @ 3:45 PM
TheDailyShow - New #DailyShowPodcast! It's about pizza. http://t.co/WOw4ebDGjh http://t.co/dqtzKHEuk0

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11/19 @ 9:39 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Chocolate companies warn of looming shortage. Pretzel M&M's to be made from 100% pretzel.

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11/18 @ 10:55 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight! Jon meets his Cumber-match. Tune in to find out who!

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11/18 @ 8:37 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Charles Manson to get married. Parents just happy Becky found someone.

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11/18 @ 6:50 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Germany named world's favorite country. Scored 90% with people under 30, but negative 2000% with people over 70.

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11/18 @ 4:56 PM
TheDailyShow - "Who have you heard literally ask for free water?" - @msjwilly http://t.co/upumH6gVLf

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11/18 @ 3:04 PM
TheDailyShow - Enter to win a tour of The #DailyShow and your very own taped interview with Jon Stewart: http://t.co/NfUAtAHfmy

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11/18 @ 9:16 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews DEA surprises NFL with drug inspections. NFL players surprise DEA with other people's urine.

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11/17 @ 10:50 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight! Obama threatens executive action on immigration! Do Republicans like it? Tune in to find out!

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11/17 @ 8:15 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Japan falls into surprise recession. Japan blushes, shoves friend, says "you know I hate surprises... You're too much!"

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11/17 @ 6:30 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Church of England OKs female bishops. If this doesn't call for another "Sister Act" sequel, then we just don't know.

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11/15 @ 3:04 PM
TheDailyShow - .@RosewaterMovie is in theaters. Trailer: http://t.co/Q2VEUsk6Jw

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11/15 @ 12:48 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Russia plans alternative version of Wikipedia. Anyone can edit, as long as it's from Putin's office.

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11/14 @ 9:57 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews FBI proceeds with FIFA corruption probe. Investigation made tricky since agents can't use their hands.

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11/14 @ 9:04 AM
TheDailyShow - .@RosewaterMovie is in theaters today. Trailer: http://t.co/MJ92YfZkDy

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11/14 @ 9:03 AM
TheDailyShow - "Can you do the show?" -Jon Stewart "I think we've already seen I can do that." -John Oliver http://t.co/nEm5kSWhzr http://t.co/lJgpuqjiYF

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11/14 @ 1:04 AM
TheDailyShow - #RosewaterMovie Trailer: http://t.co/Q2VEUsk6Jw

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11/14 @ 12:04 AM
TheDailyShow - #Rosewater at The Daily Show. http://t.co/uPtIvt26oA

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11/13 @ 11:05 PM
TheDailyShow - You should see #RosewaterMovie. Trailer: http://t.co/Q2VEUsk6Jw

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11/13 @ 10:57 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight! Get ready for the opening of Tehran's next "Mustn't-See-On-Threat-Of-Imprisonment Movie"! #Rosewater

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11/13 @ 9:57 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Bible voted more valuable to humanity than On The Origin Of Species. Note: humanity wishes both had more pictures.

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