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COMEDYCENTRAL on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/COMEDYCENTRAL
8/30 @ 7:00 AM
ComedyCentral - Wi-Fi on airplanes ruined one of our best excuses for not getting stuff done.

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8/29 @ 11:00 PM
ComedyCentral - There's a time and a place for everything, and for some people, it's on a crowded bus.

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8/29 @ 8:00 PM
ComedyCentral - They say you should never go food shopping hungry, but they also look at you weird if you bring a sandwich. Make up your minds.

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8/29 @ 5:00 PM
ComedyCentral - Surrender to @natashaleggero and Cheap Trick on Snapchat Discover. https://t.co/2LL0WOnlrZ

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8/29 @ 4:02 PM
ComedyCentral - We'll miss you, Gene Wilder.

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8/29 @ 3:30 PM
ComedyCentral - Celebrate the 30th Burning Man by smoking pot in air conditioning like an adult.

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8/29 @ 3:00 PM
ComedyCentral - Retirement hasn't taken the fight out of Peyton Manning. #LoweRoast https://t.co/0kiKBQmnb2

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8/29 @ 2:59 PM
ComedyCentral - We'll add him in post. https://t.co/b1NVAmayMR

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8/29 @ 2:00 PM
ComedyCentral - Taylor Swift has jury duty today. So now you too can have something in common with Taylor Swift.

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8/29 @ 1:30 PM
ComedyCentral - When you’re supposed to give someone the #VMAs Vanguard Award but end up professing your love instead. https://t.co/GJOzysfD6T

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8/29 @ 12:29 PM
ComedyCentral - Think @jeweljk is too nice for a roast? Think again. #LoweRoast https://t.co/5B7rWuUSK3

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8/29 @ 10:00 AM
ComedyCentral - You should always keep your resume updated with how many times you've sworn at a printer.

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8/29 @ 3:00 AM
ComedyCentral - If computer screens could speak, they'd just say, "Stop staring at me!" over and over again.

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8/29 @ 12:45 AM
ComedyCentral - Is that Pete Davidson singing "Gangsta's Paradise" on #GDCJ? Hell yes, it is. https://t.co/f7vLwVVa1J

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8/29 @ 12:35 AM
ComedyCentral - Where are you now? Because @JayPharoah is singing "Where Are Ü Now" on #GDCJ, and it's fire. https://t.co/kudPowWDmf

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8/29 @ 12:25 AM
ComedyCentral - Hey, @cheaptrick! We just found your newest member: It's @natashaleggero on #GDCJ. https://t.co/NSwEwjkGFs

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8/29 @ 12:10 AM
ComedyCentral - .@jimjefferies is an Oasis of talent. Watch him perform "Wonderwall" on #GDCJ right now. https://t.co/RlptrJshDm

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8/29 @ 12:01 AM
ComedyCentral - Wanna see @ADAMDEVINE sing the song he lost his virginity to? It's on right now. #GDCJ https://t.co/VyGvMM0KFI

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8/28 @ 7:00 PM
ComedyCentral - It's harder to guess how many jellybeans aren't in a jar.

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8/28 @ 6:00 PM
ComedyCentral - Last night the #LoweRoast taping started with a star-studded red carpet. Check out the celebs' selfies and more. https://t.co/SGoaD4qxtK

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8/28 @ 5:42 PM
ComedyCentral - Not a small thing: @ADAMDEVINE sings @blink182 on #GDCJ tonight at 11:30/10:30c. https://t.co/ITgasiOJon

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8/28 @ 5:39 PM
ComedyCentral - Not a small thing: @ADAMDEVINE sings @blink182 on #GDCJ tonight at 11:30/10:30c. pic.twitter.com/zGChbhOMVPt

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8/28 @ 3:00 PM
ComedyCentral - Some things are better left unsaid. #TheHalfHour @BlazerRamon https://t.co/UINRPFwl3c

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8/28 @ 2:00 PM
ComedyCentral - Rock out with @NikkiGlaser on Snapchat Discover. Knee pads optional. https://t.co/xUGm8JvF4t

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8/28 @ 1:00 PM
ComedyCentral - Make every character count. Key & Peele are social influencer correspondents for the #VMAs. Sunday 9/8c on @MTV. https://t.co/sb2K1RHo10

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8/28 @ 12:30 PM
ComedyCentral - A mustache is like a duvet cover with even more crumbs in it.

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8/28 @ 12:00 PM
ComedyCentral - They're the hottest benchwarmers in town. Watch the first two episodes of #LegendsofCH now. https://t.co/i8eitAwmZl https://t.co/ihfu7VUUaH

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8/28 @ 11:15 AM
ComedyCentral - You smell that? It’s roasted celebrities at last night's #LoweRoast after party. Check out our Snapchat story now. https://t.co/yTcQytjSSr

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8/28 @ 11:00 AM
ComedyCentral - Happy birthday, Jack Black. Let those sideburns roar. @RealTenaciousD https://t.co/q0uURe6rSy

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8/28 @ 9:00 AM
ComedyCentral - Sad that Shakespeare never got the chance to write for mobile games.

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8/28 @ 12:00 AM
ComedyCentral - Best way to spot a narc? They say their favorite band is Macklemore.

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8/27 @ 10:19 PM
ComedyCentral - Sorry, @RobLowe, but you're not safe -- @NikkiGlaser is coming to roast you. #LoweRoast https://t.co/oApd7kWXEM

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8/27 @ 10:12 PM
ComedyCentral - Pete Davidson is here to make @RobLowe wish he never met a millennial. #LoweRoast https://t.co/QLNo1n44tt

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8/27 @ 10:00 PM
ComedyCentral - It's his roast and he'll cry if he wants to. F#*k this guy. @RobLowe #LoweRoast https://t.co/Inr5D3jV0C

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8/27 @ 5:00 PM
ComedyCentral - Fashion don't: wearing the t-shirt of the band you're seeing. Fashion do: wearing the t-shirt of the rollercoaster you're riding.

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8/27 @ 2:00 PM
ComedyCentral - We all try to act complicated, like we're not purely motivated by the possibility of free food.

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8/27 @ 12:00 PM
ComedyCentral - To teach is to touch a life forever. Watch the full video on Snapchat Discover. https://t.co/PQemW3lDRu

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8/27 @ 10:00 AM
ComedyCentral - The whole neighborhood's got it. Get Season 19 of #SouthPark on Blu-ray at @BestBuy https://t.co/pWewYAWjwi https://t.co/dEnezy9ob0

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8/27 @ 12:00 AM
ComedyCentral - Swamp Thing seems like the least employable comic book character.

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