SOUND OFF: B*tchin'! GLEE Faces Fierce & Feisty Foes

By: Jan. 23, 2015
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Tonight we are outlining the essential elements of an all-new Sue Sylvester-specific GLEE.

Whip It

New Directions versus Vocal Adrenaline. The delectably rivaling competition between the vocal groups of two respective Ohio high schools has been escalating every season for years, since the very start of the series as it stands, and, now, with McKinley High's own Mr. Schuester (Matthew Morrison) at the helm of the central McKinley High GLEE club foe - a BETRAYAL of unbelievably epic proportions, though through little fault of his own - stakes have reached their highest point in history. Gulp. Of course, as with most things nefarious in the otherwise off-color but relatively kind world of GLEE, Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) is really to blame - as she confirmed in her over-the-top performance showpiece byway of Meredith Brooks's 90s hit "B*tch", to the horror and dismay of Rachel (Lea Michele) and the students themselves. "Just when you think you've got me figured out / The season's already changing," goes a famous couplet of the single, and, so, too, the same could be said of GLEE - particularly in this sort of wacky and wild entry in the multicolored history of the series. It is impossible to predict, now more than ever.

Yet, as with most things Sue-related, the bossy and brash cheerleading coach with a massive chip on her shoulder also displayed an even more surprising facet of her OUTRAGEOUS and outre personality - she ships Klaine! Yes, indeed, the proudly evil principal of McKinley High actually adored the romance shared between former students and recently returned gleeks Kurt (Chris Colfer) and Blaine (Darren Criss) - and she even admitted it in the opening moments of tonight's ep, appropriately titled "The Hurt Locker, Part 1", written and directed by co-creator Ian Brennan. Subsequently, we saw Sue go to perilous new lengths in order to bring closure to Kurt's relationship with Dave Karofsky (Max Adler). The effective and poignant pseudo-"let's be friends" scene shared by the pair certainly brought closure, although it seems fair to guess that the two will rekindle their romance before the final frames of the series - particularly given the creepy date Kurt endured with guest star Harry Hamlin coming as a result of a GOLDEN GIRLS online chat session in the wake of his sad break-up. Talk about uncomfortable!

Additionally, the heavily Sue-centric ep was also buoyed by a brilliant and elaborate nearly two-minute takedown of Mr. Schue set in her sterile office - rife with meta GLEE references such as Bieber Week (oof, remember that?), sweater vests (ubiquitous), Journey songs (natch), washboard abs (Morrison's own in DETAILS), plus even making mention of absent THE GLEE PROJECT winners Joe (Samuel Larsen) and Rory (Damian McGinty). "Your bizarre psycho-sexual obsession with GLEE club," as Sue put it to Will - well, she certainly would know obsession, wouldn't she? So, just how far will Sue go to see the GLEE club eradicated for good? It seems tonight was her hat trick, so what possibly could lie ahead? Well, we have 8 more episodes to find out.

"How susceptible to suggestion are you?" Sue asked of Sam (Chord Overstreet) before setting into motion the central dramatic centerpiece of the ep - hypnotism. In this case, Sue intended to sway Sam into falling in love with none other than Rachel Berry, her notable nemesis, particularly since Rachel's return to the hometown and high school halls of her former glory, tail between her legs now that her live TV sitcom series was unceremoniously cancelled. Although it seems unlikely that the romance between Sam and Rachel will endure until the conclusion of the series in two months, Sue's hypnosis offered the opportunity for the appealing pair to share some sweet and sensitive dramatic scenes as well as excel with the exceptional 90s pop hit made famous by Vanessa Carlton, "Thousand Miles" - including a magical floating grand piano taking the twosome from the stage to the street ala the memorable vintage music video, string quarted included. And, speaking of pianos, Darren Criss got the chance to show off some skillful ivory-tickling in instructing the newly amorous Samchel in the ways of staffs, F-notes and fingering, as well. An ep packed with double entendres and boundary-broaching content, the suggestive material in the feisty and generally wittily-written show was overflowing, including the appearance of an actual bear - which obviously proved to be a hilarious comment on the new relationship between Kurt and his former bully and enemy, Karofsky. Plus, for those wishing to see Principal Higgins (Iqbal Theba) in female form, you got it - but, are you really sure you still want it now that you've seen it with your own eyes? Doubtful!

The action-packed and oddity-outfitted hour was capped by an elaborately staged and exhaustively staged double-header of showstoppers led by Vocal Arenaline as coached by Mr. Schuester - highlighted by two classic 80s guilty pleasures writ large: The B-52s's "Rock Lobster" and Devo's "Whip It". Unfortunately, the horrified looks on the faces of the gleeks in the audience at the invitational was not because of the unusual song choices or out-there costumes of the choral group - quite the opposite, actually: they were shockingly excellent and the songs were spectacularly presented. Uh Oh. What does that spell for New Directions?

Next week, see how it all pans out with a fresh episode appropriately titled "The Hurt Locker, Part 2"!



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