RECAP: GIRLS Just Wanna Self-Sabotage, The Season 2 Premiere

Girls does not try to be the cheerleader in veneers.

Girls is the mathlete with a chipped tooth from that time she tried eating spaghetti while walking up stairs. And after tonight's two Golden Globe Award wins (one for 'Best TV Comedy' the other for series creator/writer/director Lena Dunham), Dunham can enjoy some spaghetti. Knowing her, she'll probably do it naked.

GIRLS is the prime example of what all future writers must do if they want to whole-heartedly, completely, without a doubt nail the generation of now - the good and the awful. Dunham got it right with Girls. She got it painfully right.

So we're clear, I love this show. And I love Lena Dunham.

For those new to the series, think SEX AND THE CITY. But instead of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte, you've got a group of hipster-tale princesses and their lovers/ex-lovers-who-are-now-gay who want nothing more than to make it in New York City. Admirable. Though, by their actions, who'd a guessed? They're self-destructive. They're reckless, beyond screwed up, and oblivious to it all. And in that, Dunham has pegged us millennials into a tiny petri dish of ironic sweaters and bad tattoos and bad decisions.

Tonight, the show's second season premiere aired on HBO. And we got more about what made Girls so great.

We have our 'Carrie:' Hannah Horvath (Dunham) who now rooms with her ex-boyfriend, Elijah, who's now (but really always was) gay (THE NEW NORMAL'S Andrew Rannells). She spends her days caring for her ex-boyfriend, Adam, who was hit by a truck in the season one finale. In season two, she's dating the Ayn Rand-devout Sandy, played by Donald Glover. Whether or not his casting was a response to the criticism she received in regards to the show's lack of diversity, it's moot. Glover is a comedy king.

Hannah hasn't gotten around to telling bedridden/topless Adam she's no longer his "main hang." In short, it looks like the guy Hannah sexted into submission in season one is still in love with her. And boom goes the karma-dynamite, Mr. Never-Wears-A-Shirt.

And of course, though Hannah proclaims she's turned over a new leaf, she hasn't. She's still chasing after the guy that peed on her in the shower.

Marnie, Hannah's former best friend and roommate, is also having 20-something-white-girl problems. She's been let go of her cushy art gallery job which has "downsized" (hello, Starbucks is always hiring.) In a startlingly touching scene with her mom (guest star Rita Wilson), we see her frustrations with having a mother intent on being a condescending BFF rather than, you know, an actual mother.

And of course, because it wouldn't be television without it, cue the housewarming party that everyone who hates each other is invited to:

Shoshanna - now hymen-less - is the first to arrive. She shows up without Ray (Alex Karpovsky) because all he wanted to do was take her to bed and not out to dinner. And though she's prone to sending him Emoji-full texts - she's at least more strong-willed than Hannah. She even went so far as to delete Ray as a friend on Facebook. You go, Sho.

The universe is really dumping all over Marnie at the moment. Her ex, Charlie, shows up with his new girl, Audrey. And because Marnie allows herself to be defined by the guy she's with, she makes it weird. But why would he bring his bo-ho tagalong if he wasn't lookin' to make it a little weird, also?

Marnie, because of the whole Charlie/Audrey situation, and her still messy feelings towards Hannah following their blow-out at the end of season one, she corners her former best friend. She questions their closeness, and if they can ever get back to where they were after she decided to move out. It's nice to see a little honesty.
But Adam calls! And suddenly it's all about Hannah. Again. Like it ever wasn't.

So no, Elijah, Hannah can't deal with your much-older drunk boyfriend who keeps screaming how boring everyone at this party is. That's your headache, not Horvath's.

Once again, let's highlight the notion that Hannah hasn't changed. She goes to Adam's and he tries to win her back and she just won't have it because she's turned over a new leaf, because, duh, Sandy.

And so, Marnie and Elijah are left to duet to a Sarah McLachlan dud at the party. Good times. The bond they share over McLachlan (aka the background music on the sad pet commercials) and that time they made out in college, leads him to tell her that he may be bi. Which leads them to have sex for all of about an eye roll. But really, it was only that long because Elijah is impotent/gay.

And because Marnie always makes everyone want to roll their eyes, she heads to Charlie's. She "needs to sleep next to someone," her loneliness says. And his stupidity lets her in. Yeesh. So many bad decisions.

Anddd Jessa is still with Thomas-John (Chris O'Dowd,) the weirdy. Seems these two managed to make that runaway marriage last through their honeymoon to Mexico, at least. Which is surprising, since Jessa is typically the GIRL that would promptly put out a cigarette on any sort of commitment. "I don't even know where you live!" she exclaims at one point in the episode. Yes, you do. Remember? You and Marnie almost had that threesome Thomas-John that one time you spilled red wine all over his gaudy shag rug.

And so, we're left with Hannah, naked as always, attempting the art of seduction (and not self-destruction) with Sandy.

What did you guys think of the season premiere? Love it? Hate it? If so, then E!'s probably airing the watered-down reruns of SEX AND THE CITY.

GIRLS airs every Sunday night at 9 PM EST on HBO.