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Quotables from SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH SETH MEYERS

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Quotables from SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH SETH MEYERS

Below check out quotables from last week's SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH Seth Meyers:

MEYERS - "The Nor'easter Nemo on Friday hit the East Coast shutting down highways, train travel, airports and worst of all - Instagram."

MEYERS - "Hundreds of cars on Friday became Stranded on the Long Island Expressway after the record snowfall, trapping drivers inside their vehicles overnight. Which, for the LIE, is actually making pretty good time."

MEYERS - "A memo from the Obama administration was made public Monday that justifies the use of drones on American citizens in the war on terror. News that much of the American public learned about from this drone.

The memo is still unclear on whether drones may be used only for a "just cause" or the more far-reaching "just 'cause"."

MEYERS - "A new phone poll shows that 92 percent of Americans support background checks for all gun buyers. While the remaining 8 percent thought the call was a trick to distract them while the government came for their guns."

MEYERS - "Alicia Keys set a new record Sunday with the longest-ever rendition of the national anthem at a Super Bowl, ending two and a half minutes into the first quarter."

MEYERS - "Disney announced this week that in addition to new Star Wars sequels, it will also be making a series of stand-alone spin-off movies involving popular characters such as Yoda, Boba Fett and of course, Madea.

MEYERS - "The executive board of the Boy Scouts said Wednesday that they have delayed a vote on lifting their ban on homosexuals, saying they will need several more months to decide. Sure, take your time fellas. Go On an all-male camping trip, rub a couple of sticks together, sew a few badges onto your sash and then let us know if you're comfortable with gay stuff."

MEYERS - "Reality TV star Mama June, who is the mother of Honey Boo Boo, revealed that she has lost more than 100 pounds in the past year without surgery, dieting or going to the gym. I have to admit, I thought the only way she'd ever lose 100 pounds is in a custody battle."

MEYERS - "Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio is organizing a training session for armed volunteers outside schools that will be led by Steven Seagal. Seagal will show the volunteers how to fight off would-be attackers with simple editing tricks."

MEYERS - "A new survey finds that the number one thing single people judge potential dates on is the quality of their teeth, followed by the quality of their grammar. Great news for whomever has both."

MEYERS - "One of the hottest new apps among teenagers is Snapchat, which allows users to send a picture from their mobile device, however the image will erase itself after 10 seconds. Which, if you're a teenage boy, is more than enough time."

MEYERS - "Hasbro announced Wednesday that online voters have chosen to replace the Monopoly game piece "the iron" with a new token of a cat. So the next time you play Monopoly, you can be the iron, because nobody's buying a whole new game."

MEYERS - "A new study lists Washington, DC as the "Most Literate City" in the country, followed by Seattle and Minneapolis. Coming in as the least literate city - Pig-Symbol, Alabama."

About SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE:

"Saturday Night Live," NBC's Emmy Award-winning late-night comedy showcase, enters its 38th season in September for another year of laughs, surprises and great performances.

Since its inception in 1975, "SNL" has launched the careers of many of the brightest comedy performers of their generation; and, as The New York Times noted on the occasion of the show's Emmy-winning 25th Anniversary special in 1999: "In defiance of both time and show business convention, 'SNL' is still the most pervasive influence on the art of comedy in contemporary culture." At the close of the century, "Saturday Night Live" placed seventh on Entertainment Weekly's list of the Top 100 Entertainers of the past fifty years.

The program has won 36 Emmy Awards and now holds the title for the most nominated television show in Emmy history with 156 nominations. "SNL" has been honored twice, in 1990 and 2009, with the prestigious George Foster Peabody Award and cited as "truly a national institution." "Saturday Night Live" was inducted into the Broadcasting Hall of Fame by the National Association of Broadcasters, and the show continues to garner the highest ratings of any late-night television program, entertaining millions each week.


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