LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS Monologue Highlights - 8/13

Below, check out "Late Night with Seth Meyers" monologue highlights from last night's show.

The Korean Aerospace Institute announced that their one and only astronaut resigned for personal reasons. Now all he has to do is get back to Earth.

Sara Blakely, the creator of SPANX, has sold her New York City apartment for 30 million dollars. But remember, that apartment is a lot bigger than it looks.

A new study suggests that the key to having a perfect relationship is kissing 5 times a day, admitting fault after an argument and having sex twice a week. While the average relationship involves arguing 5 times a day, kissing twice a week, and admitting fault after sex.

A woman was arrested at LaGuardia Airport this week after she was seen stealing an iPad and iPhone. The women could be sentenced to as much as six months at LaGuardia.

An Oregon man called Portland police Monday to report that traffic was being held up by a chicken attempting to cross a road. Then on Tuesday, he called back to report a priest and a rabbi walking into a bar.

About LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS:

Beloved "Saturday Night Live" personality - and the longest serving "anchor" on the show's wildly popular "Weekend Update" - Seth Meyers takes over as host of NBC's "Late Night," home to A-list celebrity guests, memorable comedy and the best in musical talent.

As the Emmy-winning head writer for SNL, Seth has established a reputation for his sharp wit and perfectly timed comedy and has gained fame for his spot-on impersonations, unique characters and hilarious spoofing of topical news. Seth takes his departure from SNL to his new post at "Late Night" as Jimmy Fallon moves to "The Tonight Show."

From Emmy-winning executive producer Lorne Michaels ("Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," "Saturday Night Live") comes the next generation of Late Night jabs, laughs and unforgettable moments on "Late Night with Seth Meyers." One-hour daily show.