BWW Recap: It's Time to Meet 'This Guy' on SELFIE!

By: Nov. 12, 2014
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Sadly, a few days ago, the news broke that SELFIE wouldn't last a full season. While it's going to be a hard goodbye, to a show that had a lot of promise, that doesn't mean we can't enjoy the episodes we have left, which is unclear at this point. This week's episode not only brought budding relationships, but also the return of the loveably quirky, Bryn, played by Allyn Rachel!

Just like every episode, this week's episode, entitled "Here's This Guy," starts by showing that Eliza is back to her usual ways - this time surrounded by a cloud of "friends" who want to connect with her on social media. She does, however, mention that she has one real friend...Henry. Insert collective awww here. Bent on getting Eliza to appreciate the older generation, Henry buys her a rotary phone. Through a voiceover, we hear her say, "me and Henry spend a lot of time together and we never have sex. We are, in the truest sense of the words 'friends.'" Not for long. Well we actually don't know...hopefully we'll see at least a kiss by the time the show goes off the air.

Eliza heads to Henry's office but is stopped by his assistant because, unbeknownst to Eliza, Henry is in there with his female clone, Julia. Eliza goes through a hilarious list of guesses of who's in the office with Henry, ending in "is it Tobey Maguire? Is it Tobey Maguire...you little bitch." Eliza and Julia meet and they clearly don't like each other much. Henry and Julia awkwardly shake hands and kiss before she leaves. There's nothing sexier than bringing business-type behavior into relationships! Eliza is upset Henry didn't tell her that he and Julia are official...but clearly there's an underlying reason she's mad. Hmm I wonder what.

Henry and Larry have a conversation about how confusing/highly emotional/jealous girls can get. Henry comments that it doesn't seem Julia's that way and that they are very much "simpatico." We then get a side-by-side comparison of their morning rituals and then a look into a typical date, which includes them dressing alike and not talking much. Larry warns him about Julia getting jealous of all the time he spends with Eliza and then gets a call from his own wife who won't believe that he's with Henry. Jake from StateFarm anyone?

While doing her laundry, Eliza tries convincing herself that just because Henry has a girlfriend now, doesn't mean their relationship is going to change. Then all of a sudden, she gets advice from, THANK GOD she's back, Bryn! She tells Eliza all about her friendship with a girl named Thistle, who after getting a boyfriend (named Balthazar), completely dropped Bryn as a friend. Thistle? Balthazar? Who's naming these people...Gwyneth Paltrow?

Back at the office, Henry and Eliza apologize to each other - him for springing Julia on her, and her for not being supportive. While Eliza wants to keep their friendship the same, she is shocked to find out that he wants to cut down on their sessions together. Sapperstein then breaks the tension by making a weird comparison between Eliza and Harriet Tubman, and then asks Eliza to introduce the keynote speaker at an upcoming conference.

Eliza starts acting a little paranoid and asks the all-knowing Charmonique for advice. She suggests that Eliza "take Julia down." They then start to stalk her online, only to find out that's basically perfect pediatric urologist. Mockingly, Eliza calls out "paging Dr. Baby Peen!" Good one, Eliza.

After their date, Julia admits that she had a tough day at work. It seems as though "someone" left a bunch of negative feedback on her website, claiming she got her "PeenHD in Urinology." Oooh burn!

Eliza, back at her apartment, is worried that she's been stood up. She waits by her phones, cell and rotary, to wait for Henry to call, but he doesn't. Eventually, he comes to her apartment, but only to scold her for the comments on Julia's website. Extremely angry, Henry comments, "you clearly need help, but you're not going to get it from me" and walks away. Poor Eliza!

Eliza, mopey and forlorn, runs into Bryn and a friend carrying an accordion cake. She confesses that no one has ever baked her a cake. Bryn tells her that the cake is for Balthazar and Thistle, acting as an olive branch, because there's "nothing a moist cake can't cure." Although that's true, I hate how they used the word moist. Eliza then gets the idea to make a cake for Julia. She has Charmonique pretend to be her mother to make an appointment on Julia's office. Annoyed, Charmonique takes the phone and says, "I'd like to make an appointment for an adult white lady carrying a prostate cake." Ooh sassy, Charmonique! After having a conversation with a little girl about a courageous kitty, Eliza decides she's that courageous kitty, but hotter and that she doesn't need any help with the speech for the keynote speaker.

Julia and Henry are on another date and she brings in the cake that Eliza baked her, although she thinks it was from a little kid. Henry finds the note saying that it's from Eliza and gets a little upset, which Julia notices. Henry goes on to explain all about his friendship with Eliza, who Julia calls "the jolly ginger giantess." Julia completely understands his friendship with Eliza and tells him to go help her.

Eliza is extremely nervous to introduce the keynote speaker and upset that Henry, her one true friend, wasn't there with her. She goes through with it, introduces the man by saying "here's this guy" (title alert!!) and walks offstage to tons of new friend requests, but she doesn't care about them. Henry shows up and rattles off a lot of Eliza's issues, but is clearly there because he cares about her. They walk off together and she stops crying. Eliza eventually goes to Julia's office to apologize for the reviews and tries to convince herself that she's the bigger person. Silly Eliza!

Photo Credit: Eric McCandless | ABC



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