BWW Recap: Are We Hallucinating or Has TVD Season Six Really Begun?

I don't know about you guys, but it's been a long summer for me. Constantly running away from werewolves, fighting off hungry vampires, and shooing away annoying travelers that keep chanting nonsense in my ear every time I turn a corner. Luckily, our favorite gang of Mystic Falls residents and former residents are back for an all-new season and I can take a breather. Just kidding, a witch just turned me into a vampire-werewolf-mermaid- hybrid.

It wouldn't be THE VAMPIRE DIARIES if some teens weren't hanging out alone in the woods at night making super smart decisions. Not only that, but they had forgotten to change the batteries in their lantern. Camping 101, kids. As they heard a noise lurking in the background, their smartest decision was to check it out. Except the boyfriend pulled an awful move and made his girlfriend go check all alone. Before she could break up with him for being such a jerk, Sheriff Forbes appeared out of nowhere to bust the teens for some underage drinking and canoodling. She sent them on their way as they complained about Mystic Falls becoming the next FOOTLOOSE, only for them to be attacked not 30 seconds later by a hungry, hungry vampire.

In an attempt to take it back to basics, Elena's voice rang through our ears as she described in great detail what everyone had been up to during the summer months of 2011 2012 2013 2014? Elena had decided to declare her major as pre-med, which made total sense as to why she was enrolled in Alaric's History of Magic class. Oh and by the way, Alaric is back! As an Original vampire! And teaching at Hogwarts Whitmore College! This was the most exciting news of all, as we watched Alaric struggle with acclimating to the living; and as a very thirsty vampire, nonetheless.

Caroline had dropped out of college to pursue her goals of finding a way to reverse the spell on her hometown, as Tyler dropped in, as a human football player. Matt was working out 24/7 now and competing in daily bench-pressing competitions with the local hunks. Jeremy, who would normally be one of those hunks, had taken up channel surfing, shotgunning beers, and shirtless hugging every pretty girl he could find.

Stefan, on the other hand, was somewhere unknown rehearsing for his role in DRIVE 2: MEGA DRIVE as he seemed to have procured a job at a body shop working on vintage cars and making mouth noises with a human named Ivy.

I was excited for the scene to pan out to Elena writing it all down in a diary, but alas. Instead of a diary we were welcomed with the hallucinated version of Damon. It seemed that Elena had guilt tripped Luke into being her witch-drug dealer as he has been providing her with ancient hallucinatory herbs. Not only did these herbs make Elena hallucinate Damon, but made her a little hungrier than usual.

Over at Whitmore, not only was Elena manhandling Luke for more witch-drugs, but Tyler had been flirting up a storm with Liv. Unfortunately, human Tyler returned to Season One Tyler and he walked around all episode being a total douche while he tried not to re-trigger his werewolf curse. Liv kindly reminded him that thanks to her, he was alive in this world, but in THE VAMPIRE DIARIES that means very little.

Tyler wasn't the only one with a crush as Alaric was introduced to new doctor Jo, Elena's supervisor at the hospital. Alaric's "game" wasn't up to speed, though, as he fought really hard to suppress his bloodlust and find a normal way to talk to Jo.

Everyone seemed to be dodging phone calls, and Elena missed Alaric's important call for flirting tips. She drove around talking to fake Damon as he wondered out loud why she wouldn't choose to see Bonnie or her parents or Jenna or anyone else she loved that had died. The drugs seemed to be building on her as she pulled over to help a stranded human only to take a bite out of the girl for a late lunch. Hallucination Damon urged her to stop, but she was too hungry. Caroline's sudden appearance turned out to be a blessing, as the girl wrangled herself away from Elena and ran for the Mystic Falls border (only to be found by Matt and Sheriff Forbes).

Elena, realizing the drugs were getting the best of her, tried putting a call into Stefan. Finally answering his phone, Stefan admitted that he had stopped searching for a way to save Damon and Bonnie months ago, and told Elena to get on with her life. She tried telling fake Damon to get the hell out, but he was here to stay. The drugs had taken ahold of Elena.

In a last ditch effort to end her grieving, Elena begged Alaric to compel her to forget Damon and that she ever loved him.

A heartbreaking moment ended as we flashed over Damon, wearing flannel, making vampire-faced pancakes for a happy looking Bonnie. Was this heaven, hell, or 1992?

Things we need to discuss:

• All of Tyler's friends are supernatural creatures, he doesn't live in Mystic Falls, and there's an Original vampire who still wants him dead in New Orleans. Remind me why he wants to be human again?
• Who told Elena that jresses (jean dresses) were in style?
• I guess we won't expect to see any awkward encounters with Alaric's ex Meredith, as we learned she now lives in Alaska with her pediatrician husband.
• That said, I guess Alaric only likes doctors. BRB, enrolling in med school.
• "I hate everything about being a vampire." - You may hate it, Alaric, but I've been waiting since Season One for this.
• Where was Enzo!?

What did you think of the Season Six premiere? Are you feeling the desire to make a 90s mix-tape? Disscus in the comments below or tweet me @enr702 or find me live-tweeting @erinrlivetweets!

Below, check out a promo for next week's episode titled 'A Long Way Home':

Photo Credit: The CW