GWAR

It has been 28 years since the heavy metal holocaust known as GWAR burst upon our world in an explosion of blood, guts, and screaming steel. In this time they have revealed themselves not only as the un-disputed masters of “shock rock”, but also as an international cultural icon that has both touched the lives, and in some cases ruined the clothing, of many thousands of people. Often copied, never tamed, GWAR has set a standard of consistency in their work that is unmatched in rock and roll history. This year sees GWAR release their 12th original album, GWAR’s Bloody Pit of Horror, and continue in their non-stop tour schedule until the world is finally brought into groveling submission, and GWAR at last attains its glorious destiny, whatever that is. For those of you who were just born, GWAR is a group of alien monsters who were banished to Earth millions of years ago as punishment for their cosmic crimes. GWAR was frozen in the wasteland of Antarctica, to wait for the cosmic summons that would herald their return to the stars. But fate intervened, and GWAR was de-thawed by global warming. Led (poorly) by pig-nosed lead singer Oderus Urungus, they began wandering the world, where they were quickly discovered by music mogul and mob boss Sleazy P. Martini. Transformed into the ultimate heavy metal band, they set about the business of destroying the human race with this savage sound, throwing great “concerts” where thousands of humans would be lured to their deaths. But this commotion would not go un-noticed in the vastness of the cosmos, and soon GWAR was under attack from a huge variety of both super and not-so powered adversaries. A GWAR show will see slaughter wrought upon anything within sword’s reach as GWAR defends their blood-soaked crown of metallic opulence from the legions of the lame that would seek to sully such things, and deprive YOU of the sick fun you so desperately need, need to make existence in this diseased and miserable world somehow bearable, even with an axe through your skull. In the latest chapter of their epic adventures, GWAR has released GWAR’s Bloody Pit of Horror, their most mind-melting musical masterpiece to date, and embarked on a worldwide Bloody Tour of Horror, designed to zombify and enslave the entire human race and provide GWAR with the army they need to re-invade the cosmos, destroy and devour its inhabitants, and claim the universe as their very own pleasure palace. Will GWAR rise above the petty indulgence of their colossal drug habits and finally attain the intergalactic dominance that they crave, or shall they once again crash and burn in a cataclysmic smear of roasting flesh and flaming debris? Only one thing is for certain—GWAR rules!