BWW Blog: Kathryn Mowat Murphy - The Day of the Show

1. Being so honored to have such a great bunch of dancers working with me; and

2. I was happy to have as much time as possible to see if I could actually come up with something.

I am not a big fan of one -offs, which is why I love the schedule of eight shows a week. Repetition makes for improvement and depth. I have done enough of one-off shows in the past to know I do not like working my butt off for 6 weeks, then only have 1 or 2 showings of the work and mentally thinking, "Oh God I only have one chance to get this right."

I arrived early at the theater for our "tech." I found my dressing room (and when I say mine I mean the one dressing room to fit the entire female cast which was probably 20) and it was empty. I picked a spot and staked my claim. I do this by putting down a face towel placing my eyelashes on it, with a couple of random lipsticks and hanging a jacket over the back of the chair. This would be the international sign to any other lady gypsy that this spot is now taken. I sit and try to visualize the end of the night with my friends all smiling, clinking glasses and saying we all did a great show. As I am working on this, the door opens and the ladies are beginning to arrive. First in the door is a young ballet dancer with her mother. I say hi, she nods and that's it. OK, ballet is non speaking art--silly me. I shrug and continue to visualize. Next up, the DIVAs of the theater begin to trickle in, I know who they are, but they have no idea who I am, so I stand to greet them with a handshake and tell them my name. I'm loving being in the same room as them. They have a wonderful aura of experience and class around them. They are elegant, humble, and happy to be able to put their eyelashes back on and have an audience. I realize I have taken up way to much space, and I quickly rearrange my place to a bare minimum so they have as much room as possible. Those who have ever been in the same dressing room with me know how huge a task this is.

Sitting there, I listen to them talk about their history with each other and their past shows. I am transported back to the sixties and seventies. One lady mentions Michael Bennett and her experience with him in one of his earliest shows. She was describing the choreography, how fast it was and how the women were so strong and did everything the men did. Time passes so quickly-- one minute you are a newbie in your first show and the next you are sitting in a dressing room telling stories of the past. We must not waste any time, and we must always enjoy the moment. These ladies had wonderful stories to tell. I was in heaven, and I was enjoying the moment.

Back to reality! We had to space, run and light my piece in less than thirty minutes. Basically, I let the lighting designer do whatever she thought was best. There was, however, one thing I couldn't have and that was blinding lights from the side. We had a lot of turns and quick movements, we were all seeing stars, and one of my dancers almost ran through the scrim. One spoke up and just said to me, "Tell them to take the side light down and have more overhead." I had forgotten I could speak up and say what I wanted. Hello! Oh yeah I am in charge here, ok got it. We continued to space the piece, but from the powers that be we got the guys we needed to run this OK!'

One run through? That's it? This was going to be the first time away from the mirror, which meant the second time would be in front of the audience. Cue-- silent scream.

Now most of you know that, when you move from the studio to the theater, it's expected that the work slips backwards, while everyone gets used to the spacing, lighting, floor, etc. Well, we have no time for that. I have no time to worry about that. As the Nike slogan goes: "just do it'. We do.

I am about to go to the dressing room when the organizer asks me if I can step in to a number to replace a lady who is unable to attend. It would be with the original "Sweet Charity" ladies. I was in Fosse and we did Big Spender, which was one of my most favorite pieces. I can't believe he asked me, for not only do I get to present my first piece ever to a public audience; I get to be on stage with major DIVAS. This is going to be a great night.
The time comes for the show and we are all ready for it. Carol Lawrence is working the audience, and I get to meet the amazing Liliane Montevecchi. Class acts all the way. We are the last number. One by one the different acts return to the dressing room, happy and out of breath. I'm thinking, "God I wish we had been first. "My number is called to stage and I have to pee, always the same story. Sometimes I get so tired of myself. Moments before I go on for any show I have a panic attack and think, "This is it--the last time I will ever perform." I'm standing in the wings with my boys, and my first partner kindly squeezes my hand, and I let out a little scream ........

I have to say once I am on stage all my fears and doubts dissipate. As soon as I step foot into the lights, I realize there is no going back. I know that I will always do my best and give my heart to the audience. I am truthful, and I am at their mercy. I see the boys and they look awesome, they are here for me, and I am here for them. This gives me comfort and peace. We finish and hear a thunderous round of applause, hoots and hollers. I can't believe it!!! They liked it.

As soon as we leave the stage, I am going through the piece bit by bit and summing up all the mess ups I made. I then hit myself in the back of the head and tell myself that there will be plenty of time for that--just go and congratulate your dancers. They were amazing, and I was so proud of them. They made my work come alive, and I will always be eternally grateful. I said I would not mention names, but I must as I adore each and every one of them. Thank you to--in order of appearance-- Alan Bennett, Matthew Dibble, Kent Zimmerman and Kurt Froman.

I would also like to thank my dance captain, Katelyn Maggie, and photographer, Bree Moon.

Special mention to the talented James Kinney and fellow choreographer and my wonderful Ballet teacher and friend Mr Willy Burmann. Their advise was invaluable to me and I am so grateful for their time and help.

Thank you to Jon Sefakis and the Dancers Over 40 committee for selecting me. This experience has been life changing. It is a wonderful organization, and I encourage everyone who hits the 40 year mark to join.

The night is over; kisses and congratulatory hugs are given. Everyone is happy and flushed from the innate joy we get from being on stage. We say our goodbyes to those who are leaving, and the rest of us make our way to the after event, which is to be at Lucky Chengs. It's a karaoke drag bar--who knew that existed? My wonderfully talented cast mate from the revival of 'Sweet Charity." Ben Cameron is hosting with 'Paulina,' who is absolutely hysterical, but not for the faint hearted).

I settle in with my support crew and have a chardonnay Yes, today was a good day.

Photo Credits: Studio Shots by Bree Moon; Performance Shots by Jeff Eason at WilsonModels, Inc