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danieltosh on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/danieltosh
8/22 @ 8:44 PM
danieltosh - i would be interested in trying to make love to nicki minaj.

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8/19 @ 1:02 PM
danieltosh - thank you to the trillions of people that kept #bringbacktosh trending for the last 9 weeks. it worked! all new sodes start next tuesday.

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8/16 @ 1:12 PM
danieltosh - Katt Williams Day! HBO.

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8/14 @ 3:17 PM
danieltosh - if you love stand up comedy but don't want to watch me, go see my buddy @NickSwardson on his new tour. http://t.co/r9WnCyzSZ4

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8/8 @ 1:11 PM
danieltosh - sorry to hear about your suspension, @lebatardshow. DM me your salary and i will happily cover your lost wages. #comicsans

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8/7 @ 4:47 PM
danieltosh - congrats to andrew wiggins on winning the real lottery... not having to live in cleveland.

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7/27 @ 2:14 PM
danieltosh - took my first pilates class!! not as hard as you girls say, but then again is anything? HA! #pregnancyiseasytoo

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7/11 @ 1:19 PM
danieltosh - i blame chalmers!!!!!!!!!

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6/29 @ 1:43 PM
danieltosh - #BETAwards got the king of comedy @chrisrock to host, and i couldn't be happier! black people, may i please watch your channel tonight?

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6/25 @ 12:26 PM
danieltosh - congrats to apple on finding a way to call women fat without all those (chicken) fat bloggers losing their minds.

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6/24 @ 4:28 PM
danieltosh - turns out the brit who coached my under 13 soccer team didn't believe in my comedic potential. #toshhistory http://t.co/l1NQTxeEYI

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6/16 @ 12:16 AM
danieltosh - hopefully the usa does better in soccer than they did in basketball tonight.

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6/14 @ 9:11 PM
danieltosh - please NO ONE give any money to @ToddGlass. take it from someone who has sooo much money, todd, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

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6/1 @ 4:55 PM
danieltosh - john legend wrote the romantic song 'all of me' for his love. i just wrote a new joke for mine, 'WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE TOUCHING ME?!'

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6/1 @ 12:19 AM
danieltosh - durant is tired of finishing 2nd. congrats, you finished tied for 3rd. #babysteps

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6/1 @ 12:19 AM
danieltosh - THE miami heat vs. the all world ymca team, part 2. proving again the nba is not fixed.

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5/30 @ 10:35 PM
danieltosh - don't get too down, pacers fans. you still have game 7 on your home court!!!!

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5/30 @ 10:23 PM
danieltosh - lock up the miami hookers!!! countdown to stephenson arrest. 3 2 1...

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5/27 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - i love you all. do not come looking for me.

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5/27 @ 10:00 PM
danieltosh - go. GO!!!

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5/27 @ 9:53 PM
danieltosh - who wants to be part of my framily? etslay eettway innay evensay inutesmay #oshtay

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5/27 @ 8:25 PM
danieltosh - watch the midseason finale of #tosh tonight and get a much needed 30 minute break from hollywood’s liberal agenda.

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5/27 @ 2:16 PM
danieltosh - spoiler alert: the #seasonofbrad finale is tonight! mwahahahaha! #tosh http://t.co/u5fy94WRU4

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5/27 @ 1:53 PM
danieltosh - phew! got back from kim & kanye’s wedding just in time for tonight’s #tosh finale. #sobeautiful #blessed

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5/20 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - only 1 more episode left in the season of brad! if you didn’t get enough of tonight’s viewer video, here: http://t.co/86tJP9UTf3

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5/20 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - speaking of latin, if the pope ever gets around to selling his place, does he count that entire city in the square footage? let’s tweet.

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5/20 @ 9:33 PM
danieltosh - i feel fine but i’m gonna go ahead and use my dying wish anyway. everyone please watch my show in 27 minutes. new #tosh

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5/20 @ 5:51 PM
danieltosh - big news!!! @danieltosh will be on the next 2 episodes of tosh.0. see you tonight.

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5/20 @ 3:14 PM
danieltosh - the best louies in comedy list is out. congrats to: louie anderson, louis ck, julia louis-dreyfus, crab louie, east st. louis, louis vuitton

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5/20 @ 1:24 PM
danieltosh - i spent the entire weekend with the legendary @domirrera pondering the magnificence of @andykindler. http://t.co/SPA1GFfAx4

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5/15 @ 11:33 AM
danieltosh - before you go second guessing jason kidd's strategy to lose regular season games so they could face miami, remember he was probably drunk.

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5/14 @ 2:53 PM
danieltosh - mahalo for your patience, hawaii. i will be there soon. tickets on sale today! http://t.co/7uSZcg1qzd

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5/14 @ 1:20 PM
danieltosh - i need you to send in some advice to those who are graduating and entering the real world. your #twisdom will be on next week’s tosh.

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5/14 @ 1:32 AM
danieltosh - in kd's famous mvp acceptance speech he forgot to thank the refs that keep making sure he doesn't get knocked out of the playoffs.

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5/13 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - my apologies to matthew mcconaughey, i truly wanted to give you my car. see you next week.

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5/13 @ 9:58 PM
danieltosh - 3 years of french and i don’t understand a lick of tonight’s warning. let’s start the show! #tosh #bangem

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5/13 @ 8:56 PM
danieltosh - the pacers should do their fans a favor and just forfeit this season. new #tosh in 65 min!!!

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5/13 @ 8:23 PM
danieltosh - and, "if my daughter was 18 and better looking i would want you to bed her"

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5/13 @ 8:22 PM
danieltosh - and, "you smell like you were rolling around buck naked in a field of jasmine"

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5/13 @ 8:21 PM
danieltosh - and, "i never thought you would be so much more handsome in person"

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