danieltosh on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/danieltosh
4/22 @ 5:22 PM
danieltosh - congrats to my wife who just left for london for a two week run as the principal guest artist at the royal ballet. #proud #blessed

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4/22 @ 1:06 PM
danieltosh - it’s tuesday. you know what that means - underage pool party at my house! reminder no white suits. the pool will be filled with sangria!

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4/19 @ 9:22 PM
danieltosh - congrats indy, on getting the one seed.

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4/15 @ 10:31 PM
danieltosh - don't retweet or favorite this tweet if you loved tonight's show. see you next week.

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4/15 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - tonight’s warning will be read in arabic. notice that it takes twice as long, which might explain why they’re so hostile.

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4/15 @ 9:27 PM
danieltosh - i think it’s only fair that episcopalians should get to control the social media. new #tosh in 33 min. #happypassover

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4/15 @ 6:49 PM
danieltosh - guys, this is no way to treat a silver status preferred member! RT @USAirways: @DanielTosh Last one, we promise. http://t.co/cBSdmx8QIn

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4/15 @ 2:31 PM
danieltosh - whoever’s in charge over there should be fired. RT @USAirways: @DanielTosh We want to smell your finger. #tosh http://t.co/9kjviHB1oc

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4/15 @ 1:23 PM
danieltosh - ha! RT @USAirways: @DanielTosh Hope you make it home to live tweet tonight’s new #tosh. Looks like a tough day. http://t.co/SwShCOvPm0

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4/11 @ 4:21 PM
danieltosh - only had the privilege of working with John Winkler for a short while. we extend our heartfelt sympathy to his family and friends.

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4/8 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - goodnight asswholes! #asswhole

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4/8 @ 9:58 PM
danieltosh - where is portugal anyway? is it in spain? is it near mexico? no one knows. #tosh now!

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4/8 @ 9:34 PM
danieltosh - now that baseball has officially started, only six more months until baseball actually gets started. new #tosh in 26 min!

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4/8 @ 9:33 PM
danieltosh - all unwatched portions of tonight's new #tosh will be fed to the homeless. 27 min!

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4/8 @ 9:32 PM
danieltosh - just ate mexican so i might not make it the whole episode tonight. new #tosh in 28 min!

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4/8 @ 9:31 PM
danieltosh - mcdonalds could not pay me enough to attend coachella. see you 29 min #tosh

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4/8 @ 5:49 PM
danieltosh - if you’re like me and only watch one tosh.0 a year, tonight is it. meet dan songer. http://t.co/wZdyXSM5dE enjoy going down this rabbit hole

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4/8 @ 1:18 PM
danieltosh - i have decided to parlay my perfect bracket with the goonies sequel winning best picture. #zillionaire

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4/2 @ 11:20 AM
danieltosh - can't we just pay the chinese an extra nickel or something to write "made in the usa" on everything?!

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4/1 @ 10:31 PM
danieltosh - good night and i'll send you all publishing royalties if you contributed to #thebaldingpelican

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4/1 @ 10:00 PM
danieltosh - swedish fish. swedish meatballs. swedish massage. swedish house mafia. swedish episode. let's go.

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4/1 @ 9:30 PM
danieltosh - if tonight’s new #tosh blows, know that you’re all personally responsible. #twittenby returns in 30 min. #baldingpelican

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4/1 @ 5:45 PM
danieltosh - yeah, yeah, i'm lickin' your balls, best balls i ever had. uh-huh, you've got king-kong balls. your balls are so large, just big balls.

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4/1 @ 1:34 PM
danieltosh - my 3 favorite cereals: puffins original, cinnamon life, and shredded wheat (the big single one). one of these is an april fools joke!

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3/30 @ 3:33 PM
danieltosh - Jkffgjkobbb. Gjbcefbbkbbhccfg ggggggggghhhghghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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3/30 @ 3:28 PM
danieltosh - she will be live tweeting her belly rub for the next 10 minutes. http://t.co/koEWVRd2Qj

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3/30 @ 3:17 PM
danieltosh - i wonder what calista flockhart is making harrison ford for lunch today.

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3/30 @ 11:04 AM
danieltosh - watching my wife practice ballet to hip hop music makes me feel like i'm living in a step up movie. #blessed #fromthetop

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3/29 @ 7:37 PM
danieltosh - dvr set. i'd love to know why you only got a 58 minute special @hannibalburess?! http://t.co/qAYsRnh5Y6

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3/29 @ 12:51 PM
danieltosh - being married to a ballerina has made everyday a little more beautiful. #soblessed

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3/25 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - thanks for watching everybody. and you’re welcome @beatsbydre. do the right thing. http://t.co/nHiuNcG5Dp

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3/25 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - alright, let’s keep it kosher tonight. #tosh

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