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DANIELTOSH on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/DANIELTOSH
9/1 @ 10:31 PM
danieltosh - more junk for you guys to bid on. see you next week! http://t.co/4oW06d5Lmh

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9/1 @ 10:00 PM
danieltosh - i’m finally getting the hang of this hosting thing. enjoy tonight’s masterpiece. #tosh

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9/1 @ 9:35 PM
danieltosh - friendly reminder: new episode of #tosh in 25 minutes with this urban legend. http://t.co/A55AWbhHYw

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9/1 @ 9:14 PM
danieltosh - “inspirational quotes are stupid and you’re stupid.” -me

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9/1 @ 7:59 PM
danieltosh - come on @hgtv, how many more shitty houses could possibly need to be fixed up in waco?

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9/1 @ 1:55 PM
danieltosh - for my money, there is no better '90s song to drive to than ‘today’ by the smashing pumpkins. especially since i own an ice cream truck.

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9/1 @ 1:26 PM
danieltosh - i’d pay extra for an uberquiet. where the driver shuts the hell up.

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9/1 @ 1:17 PM
danieltosh - meet the man behind the teeth tonight, welven da great. got eem! #deeznuts

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8/27 @ 3:44 PM
danieltosh - out of respect, i have decided i will not at this time. welven da great has agreed to fill in http://t.co/A55AWbhHYw https://t.co/Xt4IdbiFeg

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8/25 @ 10:31 PM
danieltosh - if anybody wants to forward this on to saban, here’s the link to my book review. #tosh http://t.co/4v25wPRi7C

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8/25 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - thanks for watching everybody. here’s the auction link. #tosh http://t.co/4oW06d5Lmh

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8/25 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - it’s great to have me back! #tosh #motherfuckintucked

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8/25 @ 9:50 PM
danieltosh - 10 min warning ya’ll! hurry! i'll be the guy in the snug pants. #tosh

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8/25 @ 9:02 PM
danieltosh - see you in an hour. tell nicky saban i read his biography and will be sharing my thoughts about it tonight. season premiere #tosh at 10!!!!

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8/25 @ 6:04 PM
danieltosh - new season starts tonight at 10. new wardrobe. new ‘tude. new host. new channel. i might be thinking of the wrong show. #tosh

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8/25 @ 6:03 PM
danieltosh - i missed you. you missed me. we both made mistakes. but let’s face it, we need each other. see you at 10. wear something slutty. #tosh

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8/25 @ 1:05 PM
danieltosh - coach saurkisiseeannee? (the usc pill popping drunk) slipped something into my morning cocktail. fucking #tosh on! every other show sucks!

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8/24 @ 8:33 PM
danieltosh - 10!!!!!!!!!!!! @hobgoods #neverretire

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8/24 @ 1:32 PM
danieltosh - just finishing up some light summer reading. full book report on tomorrow’s season premiere. #tosh http://t.co/7CRJzZu5zU

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8/24 @ 1:25 PM
danieltosh - my mandatory 13 week suspension ends tomorrow. #blessedandhorny

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8/12 @ 2:13 AM
danieltosh - go to bed jj watt, you can flip your tire tomorrow.

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8/11 @ 1:46 PM
danieltosh - yes!!!! now somebody punch brady! and whoever the bills call their quarterback!

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8/9 @ 11:59 AM
danieltosh - i've performed at thousands of colleges and not a g.d. one was "pc" AND I'M IN THE HALL! @andykindler was very proud. http://t.co/w7xDkhwJts

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8/9 @ 11:02 AM
danieltosh - so excited we all get to stop watching true detective season 2 today!!

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7/15 @ 11:31 AM
danieltosh - if game of thrones and true detective (season 1, not this shitty confusing 2nd season) had a baby, it'd be @jimgaffigan's new show! tonight!

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7/9 @ 11:19 AM
danieltosh - reminder: you will never be as good at what you do as serena williams is at what she does. serena > jordan

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7/7 @ 6:59 PM
danieltosh - great news, citizens of los angeles! more tickets have been released for this weekend's taping of my special. http://t.co/oWebZVncjl

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6/23 @ 5:25 PM
danieltosh - congrats to @natashaleggero on being the first woman with her own tv show! tonight at 10:30 on the cc.

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6/23 @ 10:29 AM
danieltosh - electric bike ride with the babies in my beloved boston. http://t.co/yDIJXhEo0z

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6/23 @ 10:19 AM
danieltosh - good thing we had our bikini bodies ready for nantucket. http://t.co/2rByOjgdFa

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6/2 @ 11:51 AM
danieltosh - in an unprecedented move, dave letterman has invited @toddglass to perform again! back to back nights!! congrats!!!!! set your dvr!!!!!!!

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6/1 @ 5:07 PM
danieltosh - my dear friend @toddglass makes his first appearance on david letterman tonight. please watch!!!

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5/26 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - you guys have made me what i am today. hope you get a good tan. k.i.t.

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5/26 @ 10:05 PM
danieltosh - thanks @RealCarrotTop!!! i should have asked you why they’re called gingers anyway. ginger is yellow.

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5/26 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - last sode, let’s go! #tosh

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5/26 @ 9:43 PM
danieltosh - 17 minute warning before new #tosh. ol’ beans and cornbread makes his triumphant return.

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5/26 @ 8:57 PM
danieltosh - good news, on tonight’s new #tosh, some of my lucky twitter followers will be publicly shamed and blocked forever! #blockparty

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5/26 @ 5:11 PM
danieltosh - all the good tweets have already been taken. #cleverhashtag

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5/26 @ 1:39 PM
danieltosh - every episode of #tosh could be the last episode of #tosh. but tonight’s #tosh really is the last #tosh... until august. #tosh

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5/24 @ 10:35 PM
danieltosh - when dellavedova tries to take out steph curry's knees can we all agree he is a piece of shit then? ban australians from the nba!

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