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DANIELTOSH on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/DANIELTOSH
5/26 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - you guys have made me what i am today. hope you get a good tan. k.i.t.

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5/26 @ 10:05 PM
danieltosh - thanks @RealCarrotTop!!! i should have asked you why they’re called gingers anyway. ginger is yellow.

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5/26 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - last sode, let’s go! #tosh

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5/26 @ 9:43 PM
danieltosh - 17 minute warning before new #tosh. ol’ beans and cornbread makes his triumphant return.

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5/26 @ 8:57 PM
danieltosh - good news, on tonight’s new #tosh, some of my lucky twitter followers will be publicly shamed and blocked forever! #blockparty

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5/26 @ 5:11 PM
danieltosh - all the good tweets have already been taken. #cleverhashtag

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5/26 @ 1:39 PM
danieltosh - every episode of #tosh could be the last episode of #tosh. but tonight’s #tosh really is the last #tosh... until august. #tosh

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5/24 @ 10:35 PM
danieltosh - when dellavedova tries to take out steph curry's knees can we all agree he is a piece of shit then? ban australians from the nba!

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5/19 @ 10:31 PM
danieltosh - great job! next week is our final episode for the summer. #satanicstyle

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5/19 @ 10:14 PM
danieltosh - #satanicstyle

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5/19 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - new #tosh starts now! i didn’t watch dancing with the stars. don’t ruin it for me. #teampotatohead

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5/19 @ 9:36 PM
danieltosh - see you guys at halftime. new #tosh starts in 24 minutes. #penultimate

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5/19 @ 9:09 PM
danieltosh - gonorrhea, diarrhea, galleria, pizzeria, onomatopoeia, santeria, perlman, rhea

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5/19 @ 6:12 PM
danieltosh - someone please remind me to call my mother and warn her that tonight’s new #tosh is a bit much, even for me.

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5/19 @ 1:40 PM
danieltosh - remember, if everything goes south, you can always move to bhutan and live out your life for $125. #househunterlessons

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5/12 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - thanks for coming over on such short notice. see you guys next week!

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5/12 @ 9:58 PM
danieltosh - what are you more excited to see on tonight’s #tosh? a camel birth or a worm climax? #theyrebothbeautiful

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5/12 @ 9:33 PM
danieltosh - tonight on the show, sofia vergara stops by to share her secret skinny margarita recipe! ole! new #tosh in 27 minutes!!

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5/12 @ 8:49 PM
danieltosh - espn’s website should have a crime section tab.

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5/12 @ 6:32 PM
danieltosh - meet the man who is high school football’s #1 fan on tonight’s #tosh. http://t.co/61myjWYgzO he’ll restore the integrity of the game!

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5/12 @ 1:09 PM
danieltosh - also out of respect for letterman, i will continue to never watch new episodes or reruns of kimmel.

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5/12 @ 1:08 PM
danieltosh - kimmel inspired me. out of respect for letterman, i’ll be airing several reruns a day and new episodes only on tuesdays until his last show.

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5/8 @ 5:04 PM
danieltosh - i just don’t want any of this tom brady cheating scandal to take away from how impossibly stupid pete carroll is.

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5/7 @ 12:33 PM
danieltosh - i feel so bad for drew bledsoe who was CHEATED out of the mediocre career he deserved.

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5/6 @ 5:42 PM
danieltosh - the patriots’ super bowl has been vacated and the heat haven’t lost a game in the 2015 playoffs! great day to be a miami fan!!!

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5/5 @ 10:31 PM
danieltosh - buenas noches mis amigos. #tosho

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5/5 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - getting on the ppv bandwagon. tonight’s sode will cost you $105 because it’s worth at least $5 more than watching pac & may play pattycake.

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5/5 @ 9:36 PM
danieltosh - for every new episode of #tosh that airs tonight i will donate one dollar. see you in 24 minutes!!

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5/5 @ 9:35 PM
danieltosh - rt if you’re an ass man. favorite if you hate war.

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5/5 @ 5:48 PM
danieltosh - time to play “does my dog have rigor mortis or just good posture?” http://t.co/n5EKAbfve9

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5/5 @ 1:53 PM
danieltosh - if all these celebrities keep quitting twitter, who’s going to constantly repost the bullshit glowing articles about them?

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4/28 @ 10:31 PM
danieltosh - goodnight. i will dream of you all for the next 7 days.

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4/28 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - if you're at a sports bar, grab the remote, turn on my show, and tell everyone to shut their gd pieholes! #tosh starts now!

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4/28 @ 9:32 PM
danieltosh - for all you kids trying to get lips like mine…stop it…it is not safe. see you in 28 minutes!!!

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4/28 @ 8:44 PM
danieltosh - on behalf of all native americans... and non-native americans, i demand that adam sandler pay us reparations for his comedy.

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4/28 @ 6:18 PM
danieltosh - i want everyone to watch my show tonight, so have a bud light or two, because i am not taking ‘no’ for an answer. #tosh

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4/28 @ 1:59 PM
danieltosh - i enjoyed the bruce jenner interview because it showed the jenners are compassionate while the kardashians will always be #kunty

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4/28 @ 1:23 PM
danieltosh - just found out my favorite crab cake establishment faidley’s was affected in the baltimore riots. #nowitspersonal

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4/28 @ 1:19 PM
danieltosh - if mayweather can go 12 rounds without landing any meaningful punches on a ring girl, i’d call the fight a success. #8yearstoolate #nothanks

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4/28 @ 1:13 PM
danieltosh - it’s tuesday, so by law i am required to tweet today. #tosh

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