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DANIELTOSH on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/DANIELTOSH
9/30 @ 10:32 PM
danieltosh - it was a would you rather! you can't choose not to read and put skittles up your butt. see you next week.

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9/30 @ 10:00 PM
danieltosh - let the constructive criticism begin

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9/30 @ 9:32 PM
danieltosh - a reminder that my new tv show is on in 28 minutes. please watch and tell me what you think. i look forward to your comments. #dicktuesday

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9/30 @ 7:13 PM
danieltosh - watch tonight’s new #tosh to be eligible to be in a raffle for a chance to enter a lottery where the winner will be put into a sweepstakes.

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9/30 @ 1:16 PM
danieltosh - the redskins should only have to change their name when johnny depp apologizes for playing tonto.

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9/30 @ 1:10 PM
danieltosh - bill belichick and tom brady should go back to cheating.

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9/30 @ 1:09 PM
danieltosh - i’m excited to see tom brady leave the league the same way he came in - on the bench. #garoppolo

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9/24 @ 7:26 PM
danieltosh - film yourself spinning anywhere for next week’s sode - #officetornado #bedroomtornado #churchtornado #schooltornado http://t.co/FeEUpAyGyW

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9/23 @ 10:31 PM
danieltosh - okay, throw caution to the wind and get to twisting! send me your own #officetornado videos and i’ll put ‘em on next week’s show.

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9/23 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - the results are in and this one was split right down the middle. fruitbootin’ for life. right, man?

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9/23 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - tonight all harassing tweets directed toward me will be reported to the proper authorities, you dipshits.

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9/23 @ 9:31 PM
danieltosh - #tosh in 30 minutes. that's enough time to make a taco, eat the taco, do the dishes, poop the taco, and then sit down in front of the tv.

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9/23 @ 7:16 PM
danieltosh - it finally happened. castro is the first victim of the leaked celebrity dog nudes. #yappening #butthole http://t.co/sJrl5Poaco

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9/23 @ 2:58 PM
danieltosh - rt if you want to get stinky #tosh

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9/16 @ 10:31 PM
danieltosh - 100% chose the easy way out, dead in 5 years. quitters.

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9/16 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - thanks for watching everyone. please watch brickleberry for the next 15 seasons so i can continue to live the life i am accustomed to.

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9/16 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - tonight i will only be answering extremely personal questions. #tosh starts now.

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9/16 @ 9:33 PM
danieltosh - the first 10 seconds and the last 10 seconds of the show are pretty rough tonight, but the middle is the sweet spot. 27 min til new #tosh

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9/16 @ 8:52 PM
danieltosh - just left a $100 bill in the take a penny/leave a penny tray at a motherfuckin' gas station even though the service was subpar.

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9/16 @ 7:29 PM
danieltosh - let’s not forget that most athletes (most, not all) are really fucking dumb. #dumbathletes

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9/16 @ 7:27 PM
danieltosh - after reading AP’s texts to his baby mamas defending his “discipline,” the one thing i know is he didn’t write a word of his apology.

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9/16 @ 7:20 PM
danieltosh - if you want to give me one of your kids, adrian, i will happily raise him. great genes, you’re just a shitty role model.

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9/16 @ 1:27 PM
danieltosh - i’m officially declining the offer to become the oldest cast member of snl so i can focus on comedy. new #tosh & new #brickleberry tonight!!

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9/15 @ 1:04 PM
danieltosh - hey adrian peterson, remember when you were only 9 yards shy of the single season rushing record? that was god who tackled you.

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9/10 @ 5:14 PM
danieltosh - roger goodell doesn’t care about black women.

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9/10 @ 3:35 PM
danieltosh - do you know how much healthier PED’s are for you than chewing tobacco? baseball is stupid.

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9/9 @ 10:32 PM
danieltosh - the cousin fuckers have it, but i think that's only because the south is on the east coast and gets to weigh in early.

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9/9 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - i love you all. #gratata

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9/9 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - let's get this fufu lame shit started. swag, bitch. #gratata

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9/9 @ 9:46 PM
danieltosh - 15 min out warning. tonight's show is pumpkin spice flavored fyi.

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9/9 @ 8:16 PM
danieltosh - fellas, thanks for all the sexy selfies! look for yours tonight in the return of “bros pose like hoes photos” #gratata

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9/9 @ 4:06 PM
danieltosh - “put the mac to yo head then you goooooone.” -bryan silva, from tonight’s fresh ep. #gratata

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9/9 @ 2:35 PM
danieltosh - “i run the fuckin’ internet.” -bryan silva, from tonight’s swag sode. #gratata

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9/9 @ 1:14 PM
danieltosh - santa’s not real and your heroes are shitheads. RT this if any children follow you.

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9/7 @ 4:18 PM
danieltosh - undefeated!!!!!!! #lebronWHO

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9/2 @ 10:32 PM
danieltosh - men only! for next week’s ep, leak me sexy pics of yourself that you want ONLY ME and my audience to see. here’s mine http://t.co/PEQ7K6k2Vt

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9/2 @ 10:31 PM
danieltosh - thanks for watching. the results are in - 88% of you weirdos on the east coast would rather sleep with 2 dead cats.

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9/2 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - it’s time, mom!!! daniel’s on!

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9/2 @ 9:31 PM
danieltosh - sit in front of your tv. in 29 mins i would like you to turn it on #tosh

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9/2 @ 6:12 PM
danieltosh - out of respect, please don't watch tonight's leaked #tosh. i was underage when it was recorded.

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