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DANIELTOSH on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/DANIELTOSH
10/21 @ 9:29 PM
danieltosh - well i guess i can take michael sam off my fantasy practice football team and put him on my fantasy fantasy team. c u in 31! #tosh

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10/21 @ 7:36 PM
danieltosh - just found out my small dancing scene was cut from #magicmikexxl - my wife (who is a ballerina) is going to be crushed.

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10/21 @ 7:00 PM
danieltosh - royals fans, you guys can make it to the world series any year but my show might only be on for 3-5 more seasons tops. #tosh

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10/21 @ 2:05 PM
danieltosh - guys i’m renting a bus!! any “out-of-towners” want to go with me to chico for halloween? http://t.co/wmirHa03aY

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10/21 @ 1:52 PM
danieltosh - some of your all time faves will be making a rare return to #tosh tonight! hints: hide yo kids, X12, and the guy we pepper sprayed… and ???

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10/14 @ 11:47 PM
danieltosh - #KiffinsKrimsonKorner enjoy! http://t.co/1dX1OEVdnR

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10/14 @ 10:32 PM
danieltosh - thanks for watching. for me personally, it's gangbang all the way.

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10/14 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - best #tosh ever starts now!

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10/14 @ 9:56 PM
danieltosh - do you hate or love bama football? that sexy SOB lane kiffin makes a rare appearance on tonight’s new #tosh!!!!!

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10/14 @ 9:34 PM
danieltosh - i'll be tweeting from the toilet or the grave in 26 minutes. new #tosh

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10/14 @ 9:31 PM
danieltosh - this is what i had for dinner: creamed corn, fried chicken, quinoa, baked beans, mac n cheese, biscuit, brussels sprouts (1 of 2)

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10/14 @ 9:30 PM
danieltosh - sweet potato casserole, mashed cauliflower, caprese salad, nutella cookies, banana pudding, potato salad, lemonade (2 of 2) #potluckdiarrhea

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10/14 @ 6:46 PM
danieltosh - go ahead and follow this redneck rabbit hole before tonight’s web redemption. http://t.co/CChD82PchB

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10/14 @ 6:27 PM
danieltosh - fyi, last week’s family friendly episode was our highest rated of the season. who gives a shit? tonight is for you deviants, my real family!

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10/14 @ 1:51 PM
danieltosh - thanks to the hackers, paparazzi are now irrelevant. seeing stars buy a cup of coffee isn’t as exciting as seeing their butthole.

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10/8 @ 12:59 AM
danieltosh - west coast #familyfriendlytosh starts now! i'm going back to bed now. tell me how much you love or dislike me tomorrow.

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10/7 @ 10:32 PM
danieltosh - until they turn black and blue.

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10/7 @ 10:32 PM
danieltosh - #familyfriendlytosh was fun. back to the old me next week. sleep tight. don't let the bed bugs bite. if they do beat them with a shoe.

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10/7 @ 10:26 PM
danieltosh - RT "@AdamRJensen You definitely invited to my next sleep over!" #familyfriendlytosh okay, but i'm all time top bunk

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10/7 @ 10:15 PM
danieltosh - RT "@_DerekWhite The audience isn't laughing at the funny parts!" #familyfriendlytosh they are children. they just like me to scream!

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10/7 @ 10:15 PM
danieltosh - RT "@JustonianD is the only appropriate way to view #familyfriendlytosh on the floor crisscross applesauce?" if you don't have a racecar bed

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10/7 @ 10:00 PM
danieltosh - enjoy, children of the world. #familyfriendlytosh starts now.

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10/7 @ 9:40 PM
danieltosh - RT "@jdamon4 my little sister is excited for the first Tosh she can watch" #familyfriendlytosh i am excited to entertain your little sis.

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10/7 @ 9:39 PM
danieltosh - RT "@Alan_not_Allen i cleaned my plate and washed behind both of my ears!" #familyfriendlytosh but did you floss?

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10/7 @ 9:39 PM
danieltosh - RT"@tthomaswhite Will this episode of tosh tonight affect any of my morals, like it usually does?" #familyfriendlytosh yes it will heal you!

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10/7 @ 9:21 PM
danieltosh - you can’t watch the show until you clean your plate. #familyfriendlytosh in 39 min! who's excited?!

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10/7 @ 7:01 PM
danieltosh - only 3 more hours until #familyfriendlytosh!! don’t tune in a minute sooner because that is a profanity-laced rerun! 10/9 central.

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10/7 @ 3:01 PM
danieltosh - RT "@david4bratcher will I even be laughing?" #familyfriendlytosh only if you have managed to retain any of your youthful innocence.

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10/7 @ 2:39 PM
danieltosh - all tweeting today by me and at me needs to be G-rated. and maybe, just maybe, you’ll get a retweet! ooooooooooooohhhhh! #familyfriendlytosh

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10/7 @ 2:36 PM
danieltosh - let your kids stay up late tonight for our one and only #familyfriendlytosh at 10pm. dvr it and enjoy for the rest of their childhood.

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10/7 @ 2:33 PM
danieltosh - tell people that normally find me too gross and offensive that tonight our #familyfriendlytosh episode is guaranteed 100% safe.

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10/6 @ 10:36 AM
danieltosh - IF my wife ever goes missing mysteriously, i'm hiring actual tyler perry to represent me just to show i still have a good sense of humor.

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10/4 @ 7:10 PM
danieltosh - how is the combo of nick saban and lane kiffin working out? haven't been watching the game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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10/4 @ 4:55 PM
danieltosh - i was on tour with jerrod carmichael for 68 shows and never watched him perform. excited for his hbo special tonight! so proud @NotoriousROD

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9/30 @ 10:32 PM
danieltosh - it was a would you rather! you can't choose not to read and put skittles up your butt. see you next week.

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9/30 @ 10:00 PM
danieltosh - let the constructive criticism begin

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9/30 @ 9:32 PM
danieltosh - a reminder that my new tv show is on in 28 minutes. please watch and tell me what you think. i look forward to your comments. #dicktuesday

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9/30 @ 7:13 PM
danieltosh - watch tonight’s new #tosh to be eligible to be in a raffle for a chance to enter a lottery where the winner will be put into a sweepstakes.

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9/30 @ 1:16 PM
danieltosh - the redskins should only have to change their name when johnny depp apologizes for playing tonto.

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9/30 @ 1:10 PM
danieltosh - bill belichick and tom brady should go back to cheating.

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