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DANIELTOSH on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/DANIELTOSH
1/24 @ 8:38 PM
danieltosh - you're welcome denver.

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1/24 @ 2:08 PM
danieltosh - i am guaranteeing a patriots win today! nothing bad will happen to tom brady!! belichick will coach the perfect game!!! #reversejinx

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1/24 @ 1:59 PM
danieltosh - kobe gets a free pass to set the lakers franchise back a decade but peyton doesn't deserve ONE charity start?

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1/24 @ 1:41 PM
danieltosh - peyton’s achievements are even more impressive when you consider he was born with two faces. https://t.co/c4BMlYSQKq

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1/12 @ 12:38 AM
danieltosh - enjoy your national championship, alabama, but i live in the real world and you didn't cover which makes you losers. #freemoney

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1/10 @ 9:50 PM
danieltosh - anyone heard from @nickswardson?

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1/6 @ 12:18 AM
danieltosh - i really do think 2016 is going to be oprah's year.

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12/31 @ 11:35 AM
danieltosh - say it with me, i promise not to shoot innocent people in 2016. #happynewyear and drink more water.

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12/31 @ 11:07 AM
danieltosh - big day for dolphins fans! finally a meaningful game will be played at sun life stadium.

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12/20 @ 5:43 PM
danieltosh - the dolphins should consider resting their starters so they will be fresh for the super bowl parties.

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12/20 @ 3:44 PM
danieltosh - remember that shitty coach the jets dumped? where did he end up?

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12/20 @ 1:24 PM
danieltosh - not to one-up @kellyslater but i designed the first manmade pond for paddle boarders. did i mention it's in the middle of a driving range?!

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12/20 @ 10:26 AM
danieltosh - how was i expected to watch the democratic debate last night when mariah carey was making her directorial debut on the hallmark channel?

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12/10 @ 8:35 PM
danieltosh - not a lot of black people in these hallmark christmas movies.

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12/1 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - happy holidays! #merrychristmas

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12/1 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - this is the last night you get the privilege of interacting with me. the season finale of #tosh starts now!

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12/1 @ 9:35 PM
danieltosh - 25 minute warning: whip up a fresh batch of eggnog if you want to participate in tonight’s #tosh season finale drinking game.

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12/1 @ 9:10 PM
danieltosh - i am considering living off of 1% of what i’ve made and also the other 99%

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12/1 @ 9:04 PM
danieltosh - in a best of 7 series, could the minnesota lynx sweep the sixers?

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12/1 @ 8:12 PM
danieltosh - enough about peyton’s inability to throw the ball. why aren’t people googling “peyton manning butthole story”?

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12/1 @ 7:50 PM
danieltosh - sad to have just found out that jared fogle’s wife filed for divorce. if they can’t make it, nobody can.

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12/1 @ 1:30 PM
danieltosh - the war on christmas will end tonight on the season finale of #tosh. #teamchristmas #teamrudolph #teamjesus MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!

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12/1 @ 1:25 PM
danieltosh - are the @miamidolphins a new reality tv show where every week they fire someone off? if so, my vote for this week is stephen ross!!

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12/1 @ 1:16 PM
danieltosh - dear comedy, tonight is the #tosh finale. you gave a boy his dream. i know it’s time to walk away. i’m ready to let you go, season 7.

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11/26 @ 5:59 PM
danieltosh - Andy was a great person. https://t.co/NTz05kSSyY

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11/24 @ 10:31 PM
danieltosh - i'm thankful for all of you. bring a can of #surstromming to your thanksgiving dinner and be the hit of the party.

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11/24 @ 10:23 PM
danieltosh - #surstromming feel free to film yourself enjoying this swedish delicacy

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11/24 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - what are you thankful for? besides me and adele of course. #tosh starts now!!

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11/24 @ 9:45 PM
danieltosh - new #tosh in 15 minutes!!! we’re having a potluck, everybody please prepare one dish.

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11/24 @ 9:41 PM
danieltosh - take it easy on johnny football. you try living in cleveland sober.

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11/24 @ 9:30 PM
danieltosh - if hassan whiteside keeps putting up these numbers, he is the clear defensive player of the year and in the discussion for mvp. #heat #homer

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11/24 @ 9:29 PM
danieltosh - i am not “mad” that lebron left miami. i am thankful that we had him in his prime. but this year’s heat team is way more fun to watch. #heat

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11/24 @ 9:19 PM
danieltosh - i’m so stressed out. i’ve been meditating for the past few weeks and now i’m really far behind on empire.

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11/24 @ 5:37 PM
danieltosh - it’s black tuesday! don’t trample each other trying to get to the new episode of #tosh

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11/24 @ 3:38 PM
danieltosh - finally an award i’m excited about accepting, the 2015 ‘staffy’ award! for being the #1 show on tv in terms of overall employee satisfaction

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11/17 @ 10:30 PM
danieltosh - we did it, you guys! we are the first tv show in history to get unblurred testicles on the air!!! #progress

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11/17 @ 9:59 PM
danieltosh - it’s my favorite time of the week -- talking to you, the fans. you guys keep me grounded, horny and slightly suicidal. #tosh

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11/17 @ 9:30 PM
danieltosh - why are you here?

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11/17 @ 9:00 PM
danieltosh - in 60 minutes on new #tosh i will be making a revealing personal announcement.

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11/17 @ 8:54 PM
danieltosh - if you watch tonight’s new #tosh, you will never look at the clouds the same way again.

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