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10/25 @ 2:30 PM
TheOnion - In Politics: New Election Ruling Allows Candidates To Remain Completely Anonymous Throughout Campaign http://t.co/FnF7zsr8Y5

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10/25 @ 2:03 PM
MarlonWayans - Please go to http://t.co/2TIaL0UVBd and check out my A GRIMEY HALLOWEEN sketch. It's classic.… http://t.co/oEB96lVHk4

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10/25 @ 1:33 PM
adamcarolla - When did coffee become a primered wall for us to paint our shit flavors upon? RT @carolla our creamers this morning http://t.co/PXx35lWNjR

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10/25 @ 1:23 PM
michaelianblack - You know who seems comfortable with himself? Tommy Lee Jones.

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10/25 @ 1:08 PM
adamcarolla - I got a chili story, monday. RT Has anyone ever demanded to know why there are no grapes or dried cranberries in their chicken salad?

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10/25 @ 12:58 PM
michaelianblack - Currently the most famous person at this laundromat.

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10/25 @ 12:58 PM
margaretcho - .@LargoLosAngeles I love my Largo and #jonbrion and @SaraWatkins what a beautiful night xoxoxo

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10/25 @ 12:34 PM
JimGaffigan - I can't believe people go to Ripley's Believe It or Not.

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10/25 @ 12:30 PM
TheOnion - “Who, Mr. Barnett, could be frightened in the midst of such horror-blind incoherence?” http://t.co/jOqXmJArny http://t.co/nOqgCP7piu

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10/25 @ 12:23 PM
JimGaffigan - On the same plane as the Syracuse women's volleyball team or 20 tall women who really like to wear Syracuse volleyball sweatsuits.

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10/25 @ 12:11 PM
michaelianblack - If your business plan involves putting any word in front of the word "bar," it is going to fail.

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10/25 @ 12:10 PM
kathygriffin - Columbia, SC! Come see me 2NITE 7:30pm at #KogerCenter Ticket info here: http://t.co/etRdpQ6fkw http://t.co/1VLDYIqRvr

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10/25 @ 12:08 PM
kathygriffin - Columbia, SC! Come see me 2NITE 7:30pm at #KogerCenter Ticket info here: http://t.co/etRdpQ6fkw http://t.co/mLR1l6LzBZ

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10/25 @ 12:00 PM
TheOnion - ONN Exclusive: One-On-One Interview With God http://t.co/BFzfmn95PT http://t.co/zDwasvB8aH

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10/25 @ 11:55 AM
JimGaffigan - A great airport game is to count the people drinking alcohol before 10am.

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10/25 @ 11:45 AM
JimGaffigan - “@CGaffigan: @JimGaffigan @RoosterTeeth is streaming to raise money all #ForTheKids. May we get a RT? http://t.co/UMdgntOIIt” Nice last name

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10/25 @ 11:30 AM
TheOnion - This Week Last Year | New, Improved Obamacare Program Released On 35 Floppy Disks http://t.co/jNO3H84zxp http://t.co/7dtRrXvYus

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10/25 @ 11:00 AM
TheOnion - Monsanto Harvest-Resistant Corn Now Engulfing Most Of Midwest http://t.co/nh1yV55SCB http://t.co/LjUZMWdABE

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10/25 @ 10:17 AM
JimGaffigan - My Zero Minute Workout Plan is now Available for purchase http://t.co/PASRB5KncP

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10/25 @ 10:00 AM
TheOnion - Nurse Being Treated For Ebola Impressed With Health Workers’ New Gear http://t.co/mnzL6YnBed http://t.co/CcE3Ji8XFp

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10/25 @ 9:57 AM
DavidSpade - Im watching the trained professionals on 'The Doctors' tackle the biggest problem in America. Next… http://t.co/IAUOBDqFyl

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10/25 @ 9:43 AM
serafinowicz - #AskNigelFarage In Return of the Jedi, how did you know it was a trap?

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10/25 @ 9:30 AM
someecards - Too soon: http://t.co/WrcVXzHEhh http://t.co/72bw2qSpL1

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10/24 @ 9:08 AM
badbanana - That NYC doctor jogged three miles the day before he became violently ill with Ebola. This is why I don't jog.

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10/24 @ 8:49 AM
MarlonWayans - WORCESTER MASS! BOSTON! Sorry I had to cancel tonight at rumor night club. But come see yo boy perform… http://t.co/1mwSRgBq0J

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10/24 @ 8:12 AM
MarlonWayans - Good times on @hot969boston with these good fools. jwiggs85 and @GetUpCrew969 come check me tonight at… http://t.co/DpBEHvoGLF

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10/24 @ 7:25 AM
MarlonWayans - Booooy ... Exasperated *n-words ... #smh #openup @hot969boston #toocoldgorthisshit http://t.co/FQ78td4wuA

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10/24 @ 7:22 AM
MarlonWayans - Bout to be on @hot969boston if the damn people would turn the music down to open the God damn door.… http://t.co/26az0aYBC3

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10/24 @ 1:54 AM
JimGaffigan - Thank you Austin & Dallas. Atlanta & Johnson City, TN you are next. Info at http://t.co/xUpQoT92gG http://t.co/SxT29BZlhp

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10/24 @ 1:27 AM
DaneCook - Ebola is a "plague sent by God" to punish gays, religious leaders claim. - Religious leaders also sent to punish gays claims Ebola.

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10/24 @ 1:01 AM
woot - $59.99 : Econo-Heat Wall Heater http://t.co/kQfGCA4aYK

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10/24 @ 12:40 AM
michaelianblack - I don't like horror movies because they scare me and I do not like being scared. #huglife

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10/24 @ 12:35 AM
MarlonWayans - More province pics. Great night. 3 hours. spoke truths http://t.co/5KTZR3YZ8V

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10/24 @ 12:34 AM
MarlonWayans - In 4 pics I got the whole #clublaughinghyenas http://t.co/MNGw1mak1S

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10/24 @ 12:33 AM
MarlonWayans - More pics with h the crowd. #laughinghyenas http://t.co/yhK5mm440d

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10/24 @ 12:33 AM
MarlonWayans - Tonight in Providence thanks for the love. Me and the laughin hyenas http://t.co/CbGfwsVH4T

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10/24 @ 12:31 AM
MarlonWayans - Me after a 3 hour set tonight in Providence! Great crowd and a standing I. #lovingthestage http://t.co/P5TW9S59PI

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10/24 @ 12:30 AM
TheOnion - Early registration times allow scholar-athletes to enroll in the most in-demand fluff courses http://t.co/XOxVRf08Mf http://t.co/H36jmKYv3g

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10/24 @ 12:25 AM
MarlonWayans - Big apology to rumors night club sorry I had to cancel. We'll do it big soon in Worcester Mass

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10/24 @ 12:15 AM
adamcarolla - Had A sad thought on the plane today. Is Yoko Ono the most famous japanese woman in the United States ?

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