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7/25 @ 2:05 AM
DavidSpade - I wish my closet was like my phone. When i get too much shit in it i get an alert to delete some stuff or it wont work anymore.

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7/25 @ 1:01 AM
woot - $29.99 : Sterilite 36Pc Ultra-Seal Food Storage Set https://t.co/728rzHtMPt

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7/25 @ 12:57 AM
JimGaffigan - West coast 10pm @gaffiganshow on @tvland East Coast/Central 1am/midnight. @mulaney Jon Ryan https://t.co/haw5hcIDpI

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7/25 @ 12:51 AM
michaelianblack - Your mom didn't seem to loathe it when I was fucking her. https://t.co/9nbHC0Gsrs

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7/25 @ 12:45 AM
michaelianblack - Thanks for the plug! It's just like I used on your mom last night while I was fucking her. https://t.co/B9tIXm63iu

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7/25 @ 12:16 AM
MarlonWayans - ?? “Black celebrities remember victims of police brutality with new video series” https://t.co/TySJIfrqut

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7/25 @ 12:14 AM
michaelianblack - Heads up: I will be responding to most trolls over the coming days with some variation of "I fucked your mom."

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7/24 @ 11:41 PM
michaelianblack - Question: do we put the fetus in rehab now or wait for it to be born? https://t.co/WaBTRMUCjV

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7/24 @ 11:39 PM
michaelianblack - Good thing he didn't win because Trump is going to fuck him over. https://t.co/bvmge588Mu

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7/24 @ 11:26 PM
funnyordie - Treat yourself to the Top Content On The Internet This Week https://t.co/K0thKoWPo9 https://t.co/6f6vORyaQG

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7/24 @ 9:45 PM
JimGaffigan - Don't miss tonight's @gaffiganshow "No Good Deed pt 3" 10/9c @tvland. Catch up on pt 1 & 2 onDemand or DVR https://t.co/gl19pYoqNa

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7/24 @ 9:44 PM
funnyordie - Three high schoolers devise the ultimate plan to take on the SATs in this poignant coming-of-age tale. https://t.co/CzBqzmL0z0

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7/24 @ 9:42 PM
michaelianblack - 2016: Year of the Shit Show

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7/24 @ 9:19 PM
badbanana - An Aquaman movie where he spends two hours trying to escape plastic six pack rings.

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7/24 @ 9:00 PM
TheOnion - Self-Deprecating Man Just Scratching Surface Of How Pathetic He Actually Is https://t.co/ejwjGFNd8i https://t.co/wqXu8xwbpq

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7/24 @ 8:39 PM
hardwick - @JonDavidMusicn I'm sure you think I have the context in your head for whatever this statement was about but sadly, I do not!

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7/24 @ 8:18 PM
someecards - Hikers find surprisingly fat dog lost for a month in wilderness, document the journey home. https://t.co/3BTtrGB2fH https://t.co/MX17pMnGMq

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7/24 @ 8:12 PM
michaelianblack - Here's the problem - do I go into the hot tub again even though my swim trunks aren't dry yet from last time? Fuck my life.

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7/24 @ 8:08 PM
adamcarolla - wet tile saw.put the factory edge to tile and cut edge butted to baseboard https://t.co/hyTu2h558Z

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7/24 @ 8:06 PM
DavidSpade - Is this fake? Though patriotic, could be very damaging https://t.co/4m0waAEAvL

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7/24 @ 8:02 PM
adamcarolla - enjoy https://t.co/vMgLQoXn24

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7/24 @ 8:01 PM
someecards - Hikers find surprisingly fat dog lost for a month in wilderness, document the journey home. https://t.co/DSU5pejsLU https://t.co/FuuykYAqQJ

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7/24 @ 8:00 PM
ConanOBrien - #ComicCon has changed me. Link in bio. #GoT #GameofThrones #SDCC #ConanCon https://t.co/nOQJuIsHAt

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7/24 @ 7:52 PM
michaelianblack - #Imnotdifficultbut but not a chance. #GaffiganShow https://t.co/I8uoNQg1q3

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7/24 @ 7:45 PM
JimGaffigan - #ImNotDifficultBut every @nfl fan should watch #gaffiganshow tonight 109/c @TVland for a nice cameo.

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7/24 @ 7:41 PM
alyankovic - I’ve decided to become a serious art collector. https://t.co/FGSLL7phbl

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7/24 @ 7:33 PM
JimGaffigan - #ImNotDifficultBut if you don't DVR or watch #gaffiganshow tonight at 10/9c on @tvland i will hunt you down and kill you. Set ur DVR now!!!

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7/24 @ 7:16 PM
JimGaffigan - #ImNotDifficultBut REMEMBER TO INLCUDE #GaffiganShow if you want a RT by me, @jeanniegaffigan @Gaffiganshow @Pontifex or @michaelianblack

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7/24 @ 7:11 PM
JimGaffigan - #imnotdifficultbut but your breathing is really getting on my nerves #gaffiganshow

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7/24 @ 7:11 PM
funnyordie - That's all from Comic-Con 2016! Thanks for coming along for the ride, see you next year! #sdcc https://t.co/0dsJo3JdX4

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7/24 @ 7:05 PM
TheOnion - How To Adopt A Child https://t.co/Lunwsw1yGh https://t.co/dAH9wWfS8K

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7/24 @ 7:04 PM
JimGaffigan - #imnotdifficultbut You are! #gaffiganshow

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7/24 @ 7:00 PM
JimGaffigan - Hashtag game: #ImNotDifficultBut I'm Impossible #gaffiganshow. Include #gaffiganshow Best RT'd by @jeanniegaffigan or @gaffiganshow

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7/24 @ 6:55 PM
georgelopez - Check this fool out , he's upset cause these traffic , hilarious , stay calm , life's too short… https://t.co/XkLwGd6lZk

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7/24 @ 6:49 PM
ConanOBrien - Without my makeup & the Lord of Light, I just don't look my best. #ConanCon #GameOfThrones https://t.co/99v3gWUMDh

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7/24 @ 6:37 PM
margaretcho - Same https://t.co/LUQMgJTrk3

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7/24 @ 6:26 PM
someecards - This guy's dog gets infuriated if you flip him off. https://t.co/lNvSTtusNP https://t.co/Efk1diqerE

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7/24 @ 6:23 PM
JimGaffigan - Sound check for Davenport (tonight 7 & 9:30) Practicing my ventriloquist bit @tedalexandro https://t.co/hbGw37WAnj

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7/24 @ 6:19 PM
michaelianblack - I don't know - I faked it pretty good in your mom's butt last night. https://t.co/O8vRCzTVL1

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7/24 @ 6:07 PM
michaelianblack - I have a real job. I service your mom. https://t.co/BRzCUstU9C

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