Highlights from SNL's 'Weekend Update' Ft. Anchor Michael Che

By: Nov. 05, 2014
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Below, check out highlights from SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE from the November 1st broadcast:

WEEKEND UPDATE" ANCHOR COLIN JOST - "A judge in Maine on Friday ruled that nurse Kaci Hickox, who had been ordered to remain quarantined in her home after working with EBOLA patients in Africa, is free to go anyplace she wants. Places like, "Over there" or "further over there." -- Hickox was reportedly so happy with the ruling that she started vomiting blood."

JOST - "Before the restrictions were lifted, Kaci Hickox openly violated quarantine orders Thursday by taking an hour-long bike ride with her boyfriend. Said her boyfriend,'Help! She's gaining on me!'"

"WEEKEND UPDATE" ANCHOR MICHAEL CHE - "Pope Francis said this week that THE BIG BANG THEORY and the evolution do not contradict the existence. Man, I love this Pope! Everything he says sounds like he just got high for the first time. And I like that he doesn't drive around in that goofy Pope mobile, like he's the dice in that game "Trouble." He knows Godis protecting him. All those other Popes were hiding behind plexiglass like they were selling chicken in a bad neighborhood."

JOST - "San Francisco Giants pitcher, Tim Hudson became the oldest WORLD SERIES Game 7 starter ever at the age of 39. Hudson was pulled during the 2ndinning at the age of 41.

JOST - "McDonald's is reportedly creating a new slogan for next year: "Lovin' Beats Hatin'," which narrowly defeated their other option: 'Eat What this Clown Killed.'"

CHE - "Apple CEO Tim Cook revealed Thursday that he is gay. It's yet another announcement that's got dudes lining up around the block for Cook."

JOST - Dunkin' Donuts announced that it will soon release a croissant-doughnut hybrid, but insisted that it will not be called a "Cronut." Instead it will be called a dobage, which is a combination of donut and garbage.

JOST - "A new study suggests that men who have never had sex are twice as likely to develop prostate cancer as men who have had sex. Well, I'm sold -- I'm gonna try sex."

CHE - "Starbucks has announced plans to test out a delivery service next year. The way it works is, you place an order, then a Starbucks employee shows up and destroys your bathroom."

CHE - "A new COFFEE SHOP has opened in California that allows customer to mingle with shelter cats. And to save everybody some time, the owners just went ahead and named the shop 'Grade F.'"

JOST - "Residents of St. George, Utah are upset about a new city ordinance that prohibits dancing events without a permit. "On it," said, Kevin Bacon."

For more information on "Saturday Night Live," visit http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/



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