BWW Blog: Kaitlin Colombo - The 5 Comics You See at Every Show

The 5 Comics You See at Every Show

You get to the club, get your drink, check your place in the line up and watch the others going on before you. Whether you're at an open mic or playing the big clubs across the country, there's a good probability you'll see all five of these types of comedians...

The 21st Century Hack

Thinks they're: Dane Cook

Hey, did you know that men and women are different? Did you know that dating is hard? Did you know that internet porn is super-fun but only if your girlfriend doesn't catch you? Did you know that women like shopping? Did you know that Kim Kardashian had a sex tape? Did you know that men like football? Did you know that all bosses are the worst? Did you know that having sex with a complete stranger is the only thing that matters in the world?

You probably didn't. You've never thought of any of this before. This is all new to you.

The Sitcom Schiller

Thinks they're: Ray Romano

It's safe. Palatable. TV Friendly. There could have been someone onstage right before them telling jokes about double-anal penetration on a Chinese contortionist and then The Schiller gets up and kills the vibe in the room with all their carefully-calculated wholesomeness.

There's the wacky neighbor. The nagging wife (or idiot husband). The adorable kids, saying the darnedest things. The overbearing parents. Everything about their performance feels like a pitch for a sitcom. "Look at me," they scream, "I'm the next 'Everybody Loves Raymond'."

You're the next "Friends with Better Lives."

The Anti-PC Warrior

Thinks they're: Lennie Bruce

You know who's super funny and should be laughed at all the time? The Gays. And Black people. Oh, and Women. Don't forget Women. Bitches be crazy.

"I'm a lone warrior in the war on political correctness," they say. "If you don't think I'm funny, you have no sense of humor," they say. "I'm edgy, I'm in your face, you can't handle my truth!"

Look, I'm all for pushing the envelope onstage. It's the only thing that keeps stand up comedy moving forward. Someone's got to say the things we're all thinking but won't say. But for the love of God, if you're going to be this person, have a punchline that isn't just "get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich."

Be as offensive as you want to be - just be funny.

The Intellectual

Thinks they're: Dennis Miller

They take the stage, notepad in hand, and espouse on topics ranging from gun control to the War in Gaza to the intricacies of race and gender politics. To a room full of drunks. At midnight. In a ten minute set sandwiched between The Anti-PC Warrior and a girl in a miniskirt telling jokes about how she had a porn scare recently (that would be me! Hi!).

We all get it. You're smart. And bless you, because somebody has to be. But, sometimes, people don't want to hear about genocide. Sometimes, people just want to hear fart jokes.

The One That Steals Material

Thinks they're: Carlos Mencia

Burn him.