re: Your Worst Musical Ideas

LotteTBS138
Broadway Star
joined:9/30/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/14/09 at 03:35pm
One for the Money: The Musical

The beginning of the Stephanie Plum series!
I once heard someone describe her (Ruthie Henshall) singing as sounding as though she's trying to swallow a whole meatball slightly larger than her windpipe. (The same person compared Michael Ball's singing to sounding as though he's sitting on a washing machine on spin cycle and Colm Wilkinson's to a man with a paralyzed lip trying to eat cottage cheese.) --- Schmerg_The_Impaler
dg22894
Broadway Legend
joined:2/22/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/14/09 at 03:38pm
The Apprentice the musical
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/15/09 at 05:06pm
Remembrance of Things Past, the interminable musical.

With musical homages to every musical that we can get in -- but not funny ones, like in "The Musical of Musicals: The Musical".
madame_no
Chorus Member
joined:3/25/07
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/16/09 at 09:42pm
1, 2, Freddy's Singin' For You! Featuring songs such as "He's Dead, Honey (Because Mommy Killed Him)", "Baseball Bats And Boogeymen", "We Don't Need A Stretcher. We Need A Mop!", the big dance number "The Boiler Room Boogie", and the showstopping duet between Freddy and his glove, "This Is God". Forget Elm Street. This time, the Nightmare's come to BROADWAY! Starring Raul Esparza as Freddy.

The Valley Of The Dolls starring Shoshana Bean as Neely O'Hara and of course, Patti LuPone as Helen Lawson. Songs include "Boobies, Boobies, Boobies (Who Needs 'Em?)", "Sparkle, Neely, Sparkle!", and "I Don't Have Any Talent (But I Am Doing My Bust Exercises)".

Lucille: Look what they've done, Michael! Look what the homosexuals have done to me! Michael: You can't just comb that out and reset it? Lucille: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.
Updated On: 2/16/09 at 09:42 PM
Actor 7
Stand-by
joined:1/17/09
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/17/09 at 12:52am
Mommy Dearest, The Musical with Barbara Walters as star? Who would play her children?
PiraguaGuy2
Broadway Legend
joined:10/10/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/17/09 at 01:00am
If anyone knows the videogame "Portal", while playing it today, thoughts of it as a musical briefly crossed my mind.

Problem is, it only has two characters, one of which is never seen and the other of which never speaks.
Formerly SirNotAppearing - Joined 3/08
madame_no
Chorus Member
joined:3/25/07
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/18/09 at 01:36am
I know it was supposedly in the works at one time, but Showgirls the Musical! Featuring "The Period Pas De Deux".
Lucille: Look what they've done, Michael! Look what the homosexuals have done to me! Michael: You can't just comb that out and reset it? Lucille: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.
AlgonquinProd2
Stand-by
joined:8/30/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/18/09 at 11:38am
I believe I have posted this on a similar thread, but the top candidate for worst musical idea is a no-brainer; I know, because I was talked into writing the book for it. It concerns a girl who receives millions of dollars when she turns 18 from her grandmother, so her parents hide the grandmother in Central Park as a bag lady, where she befriends pimps, hookers and other bag ladies. The working title was "Sister, Can You Spare A Dime?" Sadly, it never made it past the one night reading. In many ways it was so bad it was a hoot.
dg22894
Broadway Legend
joined:2/22/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/18/09 at 12:29pm
THE VIEW THE MUSICAL


Wal-e the musical
Renart
Stand-by
joined:2/26/09
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/26/09 at 01:01pm
Titus Andronicus, starring Gallagher. (The audience in the first few rows would need to bring sheets of plastic...)

Oh wait, the title's not pretentious enough. We'll need to call it William Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus (because the audience is too stupid and might confuse it with Tom Clancy's Titus Andronicus or Danielle Steele's Titus Andronicus).

Dollypop
Broadway Legend
joined:5/15/03
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/26/09 at 01:48pm
CORINE'S CORNER: THE MUSICAL
"Long live God!" (GODSPELL)
butterflyblob
Swing
joined:9/2/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/26/09 at 01:51pm
When I was 11 or 12, I wrote a musical romance about young people trying to make it in L.A. It was full of Mariah Carey songs. The title song from Sunset Boulevard was in there also. Unfortunately I can't find it to share how awful it was with the rest of the world.
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/26/09 at 04:32pm
"Who would play her children?"

Elisabeth Hasselbeck?
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/26/09 at 04:34pm
"Oh wait, the title's not pretentious enough. We'll need to call it William Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus"

William Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus: A New Musical
dg22894
Broadway Legend
joined:2/22/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/26/09 at 09:20pm
Spiderman
alisadm
Swing
joined:4/25/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/27/09 at 12:23am
American Idol: The Musical
________________________________________________________________________________ "...if you want a hit, learn what Sondheim doesn't know and let a big black lady stop the show!" --Martin Short: Fame Becomes Me
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/27/09 at 12:26am
Timon the Greek, a musical based on Timon of Athens.
Fan123
Understudy
joined:8/30/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/27/09 at 09:26pm
I know you posted awhile back now, but Schmerg_The_Impaler, your two Les Mis sequel ideas are truly LOL-worthy. I'd love to hear more about them!
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 3/15/09 at 06:39pm
"Mommy Dearest, The Musical with Barbara Walters as star? Who would play her children?"

Rosie, Whoopi, Elisabeth...
Mr Roxy
Broadway Legend
joined:5/17/03
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 3/15/09 at 07:04pm
"Madoff The Musical"

Some numbers could be:

1. Money Makes The World Go Around.
2. You're No Good

Mary had a little lamb : The PC signature line.
Dollypop
Broadway Legend
joined:5/15/03
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 3/15/09 at 07:17pm
MR ROXY'S HONEYOON aka "Failure to Launch"
"Long live God!" (GODSPELL)
Mr Roxy
Broadway Legend
joined:5/17/03
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 3/15/09 at 07:20pm
You already visited that fallacy

I suggest you have a cookie & take a nap.
Mary had a little lamb : The PC signature line.
Dollypop
Broadway Legend
joined:5/15/03
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 3/15/09 at 07:22pm
COOKIES AND NAPS, the musical starring DOLLYPOP (the Cookie) and Mr Roxy (the nap)
"Long live God!" (GODSPELL)
wicked1492
Broadway Star
joined:6/18/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 3/15/09 at 07:49pm
Tuna or Chicken?!: A Musical Dilemma- The Life and Times of Jessica Simpson
"These rabid fans...possess the acting talent to portray the hooker...Linda Eder..." -The New York Times
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 3/20/09 at 11:44pm
"Bailout!", the most expensive musical in Theatre history with absolutely nothing worthwhile for all that money. (But it just keeps running and somehow finds new infusions of cash!)
Updated On: 5/2/09 at 11:44 PM
faithzilla
Featured Actor
joined:1/3/09
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 3/21/09 at 01:25am
"The Middle School Musical: Hormones gone Wild!"
I guess that kind of happened with 13, didn't it?