re: Your Worst Musical Ideas

Mr Roxy
Broadway Legend
joined:5/17/03
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 10/11/08 at 10:25pm
Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Leather Face - you got the cutest little leatherface
When I First "Saw" You
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth - Lillian Hellman.
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/1/08 at 11:39am
"The Scottish Musical" (Need I say more?)
dg22894
Broadway Legend
joined:2/22/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/1/08 at 07:49pm
Mikey Mouse: the musical
Twilight: the musical
Real Housewives of Broadway: On Broadway
Schmerg_The_Impaler
Broadway Legend
joined:8/31/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/1/08 at 07:53pm
That Broadway World: The Musical thread.

Timmer-- I actually helped write a musical of "The Scottish Play" about a year ago with one of my friends! The songs were parodies of numbers from Little Shop of Horrors and Sweeney Todd. We, erm, were bored.
In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy
roquat
Broadway Legend
joined:5/25/05
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/1/08 at 08:51pm
TANGO! (from "Last Tango in Paris") Featuring, "I Don't Wanna Know Your Name", "Cowsh*t on my Shoes" (a tap number) and the great romantic pas de deux "The Butter Pirouette" (think about it).
I ask in all honesty/What would life be?/Without a song and a dance, what are we?/So I say "Thank you for the music/For giving it to me."
PiraguaGuy2
Broadway Legend
joined:10/10/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/1/08 at 08:55pm
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Musical.
Formerly SirNotAppearing - Joined 3/08
LotteTBS138
Broadway Star
joined:9/30/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/1/08 at 09:31pm
Days of Our Lives: The Musical

Starring Marlena as the Salem Stalker!

(I dropped it after that story and just started watching it again... why, oh God why?!!)
I once heard someone describe her (Ruthie Henshall) singing as sounding as though she's trying to swallow a whole meatball slightly larger than her windpipe. (The same person compared Michael Ball's singing to sounding as though he's sitting on a washing machine on spin cycle and Colm Wilkinson's to a man with a paralyzed lip trying to eat cottage cheese.) --- Schmerg_The_Impaler
golfer727272
Chorus Member
joined:11/9/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/2/08 at 09:33am
Joe the Plumber

A toe "tap" treat

featuring the OBC with...

"Clang, Clang, Clang, went the Faucet"
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/8/08 at 01:02am
We know (are friendly with) a group of performers who do Shakespeare parodies. Their take on "The Scottish Play" is brilliantly absurd.
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/8/08 at 02:59pm
"Ayn Rand the musical : Fountainhead"

Having read "The Fountainhead" and seen teh movie, ths is classic. The guy playing Howard Roark had better have excellent breath control, though, because he has a lot of songs.

Now, if you'd said "Atlas Shrugged", you'd have a daylong theatre experience. You go to the show, break for dinner, and have to come back in the evening for the end. But at least I know how to open that one -- with the new hit song "Who Is John Galt?"

How about "War and Peace"?
Elphie3
Broadway Star
joined:8/12/04
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/8/08 at 03:04pm
Britney Spears - the Juke Box musical

Madame Morrible: "So you take the chicken, now it must be a white chicken. The corpse can be any color. And that is the spell for lost luggage!" - The Yellow Brick Road Not Taken
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/8/08 at 03:15pm
Auschwitz: The Musical
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/8/08 at 04:24pm
My dear wife, who is ALMOST as sick as I am, came up with these:

"Watergate" (featuring the hit song, "I Am Not a Crook") -- we'll do its pre-Broadway run at the Kennedy Center.

"Coal Dust", a musical about black lung.

"Chappaquiddick" -- featuring: "Ode to Mary Joe", "Bridge Over Chappaquiddick", and the dynamic new hit, "If Only My Car Could Float"

Root bear floats.
So does Ivory soap.
If only my car could float!

"Dripping with excitement, a smash hit." -- David Manning, The Ridgefield Press
Updated On: 11/8/08 at 04:24 PM
splendero03
Understudy
joined:8/26/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/9/08 at 02:07am
Anne Frank: The Musical (didn't they already try this?)

Bell Jar: the Sylvia Plath Musical

Jonestown: The Coolaid Musical

Here's Johnny! (musical version of The Shining by Stephen King.)

Notice that all four of these titles are based on source material NOT derived from a hit film!)
zephanellenbogen
Swing
joined:10/18/07
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/10/08 at 12:33am
Cats! based on the T.S. Elliot poems.

oh wait...

also, Senior Awakening
about old people coming to grips with being old in a retirement home

Napoleon Dynamite the musical
Harry Potter the musical
Phantom of the Opera 2: the sequel...wait a second...he would never do that...ever...
osage08
Featured Actor
joined:4/16/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 11/10/08 at 01:33am
I apologize if this has already been suggested but I gave up on reading about halfway through page 3, as awesomely bad (to quote from VH1) as some of these posts were.

Any who, A musical rendition of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? featuring such heart wrenching and charming scores as "I sold my soul for sushi in Tokyo", "Oh, Ricola: My Swedish salvation" and "Amsterdam: Where da Good Shyt be At".

All the dance numbers will include a disco ball lit up to resemble a globe of the earth. A combination of strobe lights and lazers will highlight the area of the world Carmen where is at the given moment.

All ensemble cast members will wear flags of different countries as togas. Appropriate footwear including clogs, uggs, hemp boots, platform shoes etc are of course a necessity depending on the nation you represent. :]
"Perhaps, when we remember wars, we should take off our clothes and paint ourselves blue and go on all fours all day long and grunt like pigs." Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 1/18/09 at 12:06am
Band-Aid: The Musical

A musical of The Love Boat.
tis_be_sarah
Understudy
joined:1/2/09
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 1/19/09 at 11:09am
Sanjaya the musical! 90 minutes of Sanjaya genius! He dances to!

A million hearts beat quicker there, a million lights they flicker there. No clouds of grey on that great white way, thats the Broadway Melody!
PiraguaGuy2
Broadway Legend
joined:10/10/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 1/19/09 at 11:12am
Arthur Miller's The Crucical the Musical!
D*ck in a Box: The Musical Experience
The Glass Menagerie
The Catcher in the Rye
Formerly SirNotAppearing - Joined 3/08
Schmerg_The_Impaler
Broadway Legend
joined:8/31/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 1/19/09 at 12:18pm
How about a jukebox musical about the Jonas Brothers? *Vomits*

Awhile ago, I posted the idea for a horrible musical called "Les Miserables 2: Back To The Barricade" on here. Then I got so bored, I actually wrote it.

Now I'm writing "Les Miserables 3: Who Am I?" which is definitely the worst musical you can imagine.
In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy
Shannon Bo Dannon
Broadway Star
joined:8/19/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 1/19/09 at 12:29pm
The Shawshank Redemption: The Musical!

All of the men could dance in prison, and they could sing about wanting to break out! I think it could work really well.
"Some people have jobs where other people donít clap for them. I donít understand that." -Laura Benanti
PiraguaGuy2
Broadway Legend
joined:10/10/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 1/19/09 at 12:53pm
Schmergy, I can't possibly imagine a Les Mis 2 or even 3, seeing as everyone's dead by the end except for the Thenardiers and Marius and Cosette. Unless you

a) Pull a "Joey" from Friends and spin those characters off into a whole other, less entertaining environment
or
b) Set the thing in heaven. Which could actually work. Has there ever been a musical set int he afterlife?
Formerly SirNotAppearing - Joined 3/08
Schmerg_The_Impaler
Broadway Legend
joined:8/31/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 1/19/09 at 01:13pm
PG2-- Basically, the plot device is that Montparnasse is a Time Lord. (Told you it was supposed to be terrible!) Les Miserables 2 is set 25 years after Les Mis, and Marius and Cosette have a horrible marriage and Cosette has no respect whatsoever for her spineless husband. A bunch of ridiculous stuff happens, and he travels back in time and goes back to the barricade to change the turn of events so as to have done SOMETHING heroic in his life. Oh yeah, but Thenardier went back in time, too, and insane stuff happens. Have I mentioned it's a totally farcical spoof?

In Les Miserables 3, Javert has travelled back in time and caught Valjean, and Marius has to take Valjean's place so that the whole past won't be ruined, to even more disastrous results. Kind of like "The Santa Clause" mixed with "Back To The Future."
In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy
Updated On: 1/19/09 at 01:13 PM
TimesSquareRegular
Broadway Legend
joined:12/16/04
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 1/19/09 at 01:39pm
One of the worst ideas has actually (well, not really) happened: check out the Jeff Goldblum & Emma Thompson comedy THE TALL GUY, where Jeff is cast in the lead of the National Theatre's musical version of THE ELEPHANT MAN. We actually get to see a few fully-staged numbers from ELEPHANT! Priceless stuff.

My own modest suggestion would be a song-and-dance adaptation of MY DINNER WITH ANDRE,
2014 Intimacy (1/18), Bronx Bombers (2/05), Kung-Fu (2/09), Matilda (2/12), The Velocity Of Autumn (4/18), Easter Bonnet Competition (4/22), Just Jim Dale (5/16), Behind The Magic - Motown (5/22), Just Jim Dale (5/29), The Book Of Mormon (6/04), Holler If Ya Hear Me (7/03)
Timmer
Broadway Star
joined:2/21/06
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/14/09 at 02:25pm
"The Whole Magilla" (a musical based on Magilla Gorilla.)
LotteTBS138
Broadway Star
joined:9/30/08
re: Your Worst Musical Ideas
Posted: 2/14/09 at 03:35pm
One for the Money: The Musical

The beginning of the Stephanie Plum series!
I once heard someone describe her (Ruthie Henshall) singing as sounding as though she's trying to swallow a whole meatball slightly larger than her windpipe. (The same person compared Michael Ball's singing to sounding as though he's sitting on a washing machine on spin cycle and Colm Wilkinson's to a man with a paralyzed lip trying to eat cottage cheese.) --- Schmerg_The_Impaler