So my boyfriend of 10 months just booked a theme park performing gig in Busch Gardens, Virginia, which begins in about 3 weeks and runs through early September. Its all so last minute and Im having a really hard time coping with the news which he just found out/told me of today. Any useful info on maintaining long distance relationships with people in this field would be appreciated. Specifically I'm looking for coping mechanisms, for someone who particularly deals with separation and long-distance poorly (myself) and yes I know FaceTime, but that only goes so far... also consider that it has only been 10 months, so while not very long, in broad terms, still enough for me to be very attached... is an open relationship an option... like is my need for physical companionship more important here in the long run than waiting it out...? And of course, Im concerned he could meet someone down there who he will be working with intimately and seeing much more than even he and I see each other now... I feel like Im in between a rock and a hard place. I really hope this isn't the end of our relationship....
I am assuming you are young so I say without hesitation; go down with him. You only live once and it would be fun to spend 10 months somewhere new with someone you love.
I am not young, almost 26 in fact, and he is almost 20; the 10 months is referring to how long our relationship currently is btw This is not a situation I can insert myself into, its a program, plus I have a life and a job here (Westchester, NY) I think the big question that has surfaced is this... am I the kind of person who can be in a relationship with an actor, someone who at any moment could just pick up their bags and go....? Or do I need more stability in my life....?
I think the big question that has surfaced is this... am I the kind of person who can be in a relationship with an actor, someone who at any moment could just pick up their bags and go....? Or do I need more stability in my life....?
People here don't know you, so you have to be a big boy and answer your questions on your own. Sorry to be blunt, but your posts, from my point of view, give the impression you aren't mature and possessive.
Yes, you are over thinking. I suggest you sit down and talk to your boyfriend.
Hey Q, I agree, you are way over thinking and should focus on the obvious. Do you really love and care for the relationship? Are you both in sync with where things are headed? Talk to him!
As someone with an actor/singer as my husband, it takes at least some faith and commitment. (He's not leaving You; it's a paying Job). You should really talk with him; if you're both in the same "place" you can and should be able to deal with a little time apart. And remember, it IS a paying gig...he doesn't have to wait tables.
Also, imagine if it was even 10-15 years ago; having none of the technology of today. Extended separate relationships do work if you both love each other, and are able to handle it maturely; lots of people have been successful at this.
Given everything you have said it sounds as though the both of you do not have an intense connection otherwise you would not be posting this question on a public forum.
Before I was a writer and director I was a dancer/actor/singer always on the road on tour etc and I was in a relationship at the time. It's hard, but you find ways to keep it going. We spoke every night on the phone but started to realise we were over doing the phone calls, we changed it to once every 2 days and it worked great. We made sure my partner came to see me whenever he could or I would see him when I had time off. We also did little romantic gestures whilst I was away, we would send each other little gifts etc. We made sure any big days (weddings, birthdays, events etc) that we would take time off to be there.
Just relax and find things to occupy your time, don't bombard with texts and calls, it becomes too much and trust in each other. If you have a TV series you watch together then do it over the phone, it's fun actually.
you will be fine x
Namo i love u but we get it already....you don't like Madonna
If you are really asking yourself "am I the kind of person who can be in a relationship with an actor, someone who at any moment could just pick up their bags and go....? Or do I need more stability in my life....?" then you're doing something smart. And the answer is probably, in all reality, "no and yes."
Some people need their partner there all the time; others are fine with temporary separation. If it's a real problem for you, then you probably need someone with more stable employment that provides a more stable life.
And honestly - he's a 19 year old performer. He's got a lot of places to go before he's fully grown.
Knowing what you need (as opposed to what you want) is often a hard thing to figure out, but you won't be happy until you do.
OP, yes, you are young. Your BF is even younger. You'll agree with me in 30 years. As another poster suggested, it would be great if you could join BF...even if only for a short time(s).
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Posted: 4/27/17 at 4:41pm