Disrespectful/Rude Behavior on These Boards

[BroadwayRox3588]

I joined these message boards a few weeks ago. And, while I noticed the threads/discussions/etc. before officially joining, being a member allows me to participate in them, and to raise points when I feel it necessary. And in this particular instance, I feel that it is necessary to address this.

Why is there so much animosity, bickering, negativity, and, even in some cases, bullying on these boards? This is a Broadway/theatre website. The theatre is supposed to be a safe place. A place where people can be themselves. A place where people can be free. A place where people should feel free to express themselves WITHOUT fear of being treated like they are of sub-intelligence, or like what they say doesn't matter. Sadly, I have seen a lot of behavior contradictory to the spirit of theatre on these forums, especially as of late. I understand that people are passionate about their favorite shows/actors, and are opinionated. I am very opinionated as well. But it's much more constructive to share these opinions without tearing down those who disagree with you. And this also goes for those who share incorrect information, and those who may or may not have inside information about the goings on in the theatre. You know who makes mistakes? Everyone. I make at least a half dozen mistakes every day. Is somebody thinking the Brooks Atkinson Theatre is a Shubert house worthy of scorn, and treating that person like they are the biggest idiot on the planet? I certainly don't think so. I am just using that as an example, but I have seen people treat others on here very harshly for making mistakes about as trivial as that. Also, if you have inside information on something, that's great! It's a good feeling, to have inside info! However, you can have this information without getting up on a high horse, and acting like you are better than everyone else because of it. I also think people will think more highly of your access to this information, if you are kind and respectful about it.

Long story short, there are places online where people are made to feel stupid, or like they aren't able to express themselves without being scorned for it. And while I don't think any place should make people feel like that, I especially don't think a theatre forum should. The theatre is a safe place, and so, too, should a place to talk about theatre be.

[Liza's Headband]

Okay, and....? What's your point? 

[South Florida]

Ya just don't get it, give it time.

[BroadwayRox3588]

My point has been very clear to everyone I shared it with before posting it in here. Also, for the record, I fully expected to be slammed for posting this thread, upon doing so. I'm posting my opinion, without caring what others think. And if anyone wants to slam me, feel free. There's no filter here. Just know that you are not painting yourself in a good light by being a jerk. I genuinely hope everyone has a wonderful day.

[Mister Matt]

A) BWW has been this way since day one.  It used to be even worse. MUCH worse. And... 

2) Have you ever met theatre people? This behavior is NOTHING compared to the animosity and behavior of this who work in theatre. Sure, it's all talk of solidarity in the public eye, but it's quite a different story backstage and at auditions.

You can try to pretend this site should be placed on a pedestal and people should behave a certain way and whatnot, but in the end, we are people being people.  And like the real world, some of these people are great, some are awful, some agree and some don't.  And if you think someone is being a dick, call them out on it at the time.  Devoting a thread to collective bad behavior doesn't do anything at all.

[BroadwayRox3588]

I work in the theatre. Only response I really have to this. :)

[BroadwayRox3588]

(I told myself I wouldn't respond to this anymore, and just let people fire at me. But when my knowledge/expertise is directly challenged, I feel obligated to haha)

[Wardrobe Mistress]

I have to admit, although I'm an infrequent poster and have not been on the receiving end of rude responses, I have to agree with BroadwayRox... alas I fear things are unlikely to change.

[Jay Lerner-Z]

If you think for one moment that the internet is ever going to be a "safe space", then you are living in cloud cuckoo land. Sorry!

[BroadwayConcierge]

BroadwayRox be like

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Why would you start a thread if you weren't going to respond? That's kinda the point, to interact.

[UncleCharlie]

"The theatre is supposed to be a safe place."

It is? Who told you that?

For most people, theater is a form of entertainment. Something they enjoy attending and they spend a lot of money for the privilege. And when people spend a lot of money to be entertained and are very passionate about something as are most of the people on this board, they're going to have opinions, sometimes very strong opinions, sometimes even angry opinions. That's life. Accept some, ignore others, but it's never going to be this sort of safe space you seem to be seeking.

[PalJoey]

 

So tell us, "New Member": Do you think Patti Murin hit that high note in Wicked or not?

 

[Mildred Plotka]

Nearly every message board of any kind is going to have bad seeds and people pot to pick a fight. You learn to ignore them.  It's not worth letting it bother you. 

[HorseTears]

What the **** is this delicate snowflake going on about?  If anything, I think BWW posters are sometimes too genial and respectful.  And, Jesus,  safe spaces?   You had to bring that up.  A term which once had a very legitimate meaning for sexual abuse survivors and now has been rendered meaningless and ridiculous.   I have infinitely more respect for those who can dish it* out and take it than those who have to thought and speech police everyone.  I mean, take PJ.  Not so long ago, I told PJ that he wouldn't be satisfied if a prominent political figure debased himself in public with a 10" inch Hillary Clinton shaped dildo and PJ, a man or character, well, took it and fired right back.  

 

 

* Note: "it" does not refer to those using the pseudo-issue of "political correctness" to spew racist, xenophobic, ageist and sexist bull****.  

[dramamama611]

1.  THIS isn't a theater.  It's a bunch of people (sometimes) talking about theater.

2.  Do you think no one has noticed this before?  Do you really think you'll change it?  Chastising others isn't exactly polite, either...even if you think you have a good reason.  Don't you think those that speak rudely think THEY have a good reason?  From their point of view, they do.

3.  You can't change others, you can only change the way you react to others. In this case: call them out individually  (You didn't like it when they teacher yelled at everyone when she knew that only 1/2 the class behaved poorly for the substitute.), you can ignore them as much as possible (my choice) or you can not visit the boards.  

[Call_me_jorge]

PalJoey said: " 

So tell us, "New Member": Do you think Patti Murin hit that high note in Wicked or not?

 

 

"

She hit it 6 times a week

[gypsy101]

people that are interested in theater are basically big snobs, it's not surprising a big group of them bicker and correct each other and argue. it's usuallly all in good fun.

[sabrelady]

Wow. I guess I should thank you for joining the site . I'm sure from your  Pedestal upon which you perch, as you judge us , you must feel pretty smug about how you are going to fix us so we can meet your personal standards of internet behavior. I mean, never mind that this board has been going on for 10+ years without your instructions on How We Are Doing It Wrong and Must  CHANGE.

Can we be bitchy? hells yah!  But if many of us can be members for years w/out leaving we must be OK with how things are. 

Oh and while i don't work in the Theeatah, I worked for 10 yrs on film/tv sets.  I can't tell you some of the crap I heard and was occasionally subject to . But guess what? that same behavior is  present  in my day job in a hospital, and in my nephew's job in finance and in the rest of the grown up world.

That's life in the big city kiddo- grow a skin.

[tazber]

The more things change....
 

[Marianne2]

sabrelady said: "Wow. I guess I should thank you for joining the site . I'm sure from your  Pedestal upon which you perch, as you judge us , you must feel pretty smug about how you are going to fix us so we can meet your personal standards of internet behavior. I mean, never mind that this board has been going on for 10+ years without your instructions on How We Are Doing It Wrong and Must  CHANGE.

Can we be bitchy? hells yah!  But if many of us can be members for years w/out leaving we must be OK with how things are. 

Oh and while i don't work in the Theeatah, I worked for 10 yrs on film/tv sets.  I can't tell you some of the crap I heard and was occasionally subject to . But guess what? that same behavior is  present  in my day job in a hospital, and in my nephew's job in finance and in the rest of the grown up world.

That's life in the big city kiddo- grow a skin.

 

"

It also happens in retail. I've been called a bitch behind my back because I didn't fall for a claim a customer made. On Christmas eve, one chased me down to make sure I asked someone if we had an item I was fully aware we didn't have and told them that. I've feared being hit by customers.  So yeah, BWW is nothing compared to most real life experiences. 

[PalJoey]

 

This is the stupidest post in the history of the Internet.

 

[yankeefan7]

"This is the stupidest post in the history of the Internet."

Wow. You seem to think everything is quite stupid. According to you the 2020 Election thread was the stupidest post in the history of BWW and now this one is in the history of the internet - lol

[yankeefan7]

I think this is just the nature of message boards, I have participated on a sports message board and the same stuff happen.

[dramamama611]

I've never seen a discussion board where it doesn't happen.   Heck, dieting women's boards are the worst.

[hork]

I can understand expecting a theater board to be more mature and genteel than other boards. I know I had that expectation when I first joined. Of course, it took me about two seconds to realize that it wasn't the case.