Verbal abuse in the audience

[ChairinMain]

Posted: 1/20/15 at 9:13pm

An article has been making the rounds today about an incident that occurred at the met a few days ago. The author, Collier Meyerson, was asked to put her hair up by a patron sitting behind her because his wife could not see. She initially complied, but felt offended and reconsidered her decision at the first intermission, at which point the patron called her "disgusting" for coming to the opera with a voluminous hairstyle. She complained to house management and was moved to a different seat, but spoke to a second manager at the next intermission and was dismissed when she asked that they speak to the patron who had offended her, apparently quite rudely, despite her having the incident on tape.

The article goes on to make several quite salient points about the way race is portrayed onstage at the Met, but thats a whole 'nother can of worms and why I'm post is really about the management's response. Is there a policy with dealing with this sort of bad audience behavior? I'd consider the treatment Meyerson received totally unconscionable, but I don't know what kind of protection a theater can offer when such a thing occurs. Is this kind of verbal abuse disruptive enough to constitute grounds for ejecting a patron? Where is the line here?

In my former job as an usher at San Francisco Opera, I was a mediator in several audience spats that were similarly ridiculous and petty, if less racist (I think the worst was that on two separate occasions I was asked to relocate a patron because their seat companion claimed they were breathing too loudly). I understand, but do not approve, of the manager's hesitation to confront the offending patron. The usher's first instinct is "resolve peacefully" and let the show go on. As a human being, I think the dickhead in question should have received a talking to, if not simply asked to leave. As an usher, I'm not so sure. Thoughts?


Jezebel.com - When the Opera Acts Like it's never seen a black person Updated On: 1/20/15 at 09:13 PM

[Cape Twirl of Doom]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 2:22am

So the author of that piece says that the tickets were $307, and yet she gets all righteously outraged when someone sitting behind her wants to actually see what they've paid $307 for? There's a picture of her in the article, and her hair is indeed very big and poufy. It looks like it could definitely block the view of someone sitting behind her. She gets no sympathy from me for crying racism when the only issue is that her hair was in a style that could block someone's view.

It sounds like the man was completely reasonable and non-offensive in his request, just by her own account. It didn't get nasty until she later on took her phone out and started to record as she confronted him.

Updated On: 1/21/15 at 02:22 AM

[HorseTears]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 2:33am

Here's her selfie from her night at the Met and, well, from the description I was imagining some massive, towering afro or something. Yeah, her hair has some volume to it, but it's nothing excessive. What's perhaps more interesting is that it looks like she came to the Met directly after her yoga class.

[Susanswerphone]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 3:36am

"I take my friend Allison because I know she'll revel in the hundreds of dead animals draped over the hundreds of close-to-dead humans with me. I love the opera more for the pageantry of New York's stale, geriatric elite than I do for the ornate costumes, the larger-than-life sets."

Sounds to me like girlfriend went in looking for a fight. Tell your parents to just give you the money next Christmas! An' go get that hair did!

[Fantod]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 4:35am

Wow. So that's what people wear to the opera nowadays? Shame. Though her hairstyle isn't so tall and many people would be as tall as she was without the hair.

[billis2]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 6:54am

I have to give her credit for writing what is probably an accurate depiction of events, because it doesn't make her look very good. You would think that the mention that the manager is dealing with a heart attack would help her put the whole thing in context, but no such luck. The patron's original request was a bit much to ask IMO, but it was asked nicely and it doesn't sound like it should have made her almost cry. Later, he was extremely rude, but he apologized. He's a jerk, but I don't think he's been shown to be racist.

I'm not sure what she expected the Met management to do once they found her other seats. The other patron was a jerk, but he didn't break any laws, and it doesn't sound like he was threatening to her, just obnoxious. It's not the house manager's job to tell people to be nicer to each other.

[anmiller07]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 7:35am

I usually don't get in on these conversations, but I just want to touch upon the comment that it shouldn't have made her almost cry...if you aren't black then you probably would not understand this, but natural black hair is often ridiculed by white culture as wild, unmanageable, out of control, BIG, etc. I say this as a black man with locs which are becoming more accepted but still get questionable looks at times from my peers at work. There's a lot of emotion attached to this for many POC that wear natural hair and even if this gentleman did not mean it in that way, there's a good chance that is why this young lady "felt like she might cry." If she was a tall patron, would it have been a reasonable request to ask her to shrink?

P. S. Her attire is atrocious, I wouldn't wear that top to Duane Reade.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 8:25am

Yes, "black hair" is a problem that few white folk truly can understand. (I do, sort of, cuz I rather have a jew 'fro, and it is the bane of my existence.)

That being said, I am shocked the patron would say anything...she doesn't truly have much height to block the way. I suppose if the wife were a tiny thing, she's use to looking BETWEEN patrons in front of her. I cannot imagine asking anyone to change their physical being for me.

I'm not sure if the whole exchange was actually racist (but I'm not ruling that out) but it certainly was rude.

However....she really did seem to be looking for a fight when she decided to videotape the exchange before anything actually happened.

I'm also not really sure exactly what she expected the management to do. Did she really think they were going to offend THEM? They, too, are patrons.

[Auggie27]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 9:30am

The issues here of sightlight access and personal space strike me as universal, in this particular case very separate issues have been interpolated. I am a front mezz person. It's my favorite place to sit, usually the first two rows (the 2nd is often on discount, the first Premium; I usually get second row). What has become commonplace is the leaning forward syndrome. Those who believe mezz seats require sitting on the edge and leaning as close to the stage as possible. Without exception, this produces problems for those behind. It happened to me in the St. James recently for SIDE SHOW, and last week, egregiously, at THE LAST SHIP. At SHIP, three people in the enter of mezz A perched/pitched themselves so forward they made almost all of the action on the apron and audience-jutting platform/stairs impossible to see. When tapped on the shoulder, they bristled and maintained their position. Their behavior was so entitlement-specific, that they were going to sit and watch, my viewing be damned, I was startled. It's hard for me to imagine a handful of people behaving thus 20 years ago. This is the new norm: personal satisfaction always trumps consideration to others.

So this debate doesn't strike me as terribly different. It's not really about race or ethnicity-based hair styling. It's about acknowledging that theater is (thankfully) a communal experience. We turn off our phones, we grow silent, we don't open candy, we don't move inordinately, and maybe we stop and think about whether our personal ownership of the space allocated for one person might impact others. I'm a tall man. If I lean forward, I ruin sightlines for those behind me. I can't help being tall, I can help the person behind me negotiate a way to see the stage. If someone's hairstyle blocks the sightlines, it's the blocking of the view that's the issue, not whether people understand her hair. I am 6 feet tall and proud of it. She's African-American and likely proud. Who we are requires some accommodation in the theater. We have the same rights and expectations. And we all pay.

Updated On: 1/21/15 at 09:30 AM

[morosco]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 9:49am

[That Groovy Guy]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 10:08am

I think that this is definitely a case of racism - on the part of Collier Meyerson. It doesn't matter what color she or her hair is. Wearing her hair in such a manner was completely thoughtless, (especially to one side, as it is) knowing that there would be people sitting behind you. She may has worn a large sombrero. But she didn't think. Well, yes, actually she DID think - only of herself. If she herself doesn't consider her hair "tame" it sounds like she's unhappy with it - so why not cut it? She acts like that because she is a black woman this is the ONLY way she can wear her hair. She temporarily put it up so obviously that was not the case! And for her to play the race card (ooooh he's a racist, he just said "play the race card!" oooh!) so flagrantly and so out of context I must agree with the other patron - she IS disgusting. Not for her hair but for her attitude and her blatant racism. She wrote a nice little article that painted herself to be to be truly ugly-hearted and yet she still can't even see the ugliness in her own words. She should be ashamed. Deeply deeply ashamed. But she won't be. Because this is the internet and as horrifically wrong as she is she'll always find lots of morons online who'll tell her she's right.

[RippedMan]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 11:32am

How is any of that racist? When I was reading the thread I just assumed it was a white girl with her hair done for the occasion not some girl with "natural" hair rocking a Forever 21 tank top.

I'm tall - 6'2" - and I tend to lean forward to put my elbows on my knees to watch shows if I'm in the Mezz. And almost every time the person behind me tells me I have to lean back because I'm too tall and they can't see over me. It's annoying. It's more comfortable for me to lean forward, but alas, I understand and stay back and scrunch down a little. That's life.

I think she's just weak and that's why she cried. How hard is it to put your hair in a pony and watch the damn opera. Or switch seats with your friend. People take everything so person and don't stop to put yourselves in their shoes.

[whatever2]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 11:37am

fwiw, there's a discussion of this incident over on parterre.com ... apparently, the older couple are known to some of the regulars in the house as nasty and/or eccentric.

[Gothampc]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 11:38am

I'm more offended by her poor writing skills.

"They're an aging middle class pair who don't got millions in the bank."

[Gothampc]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 11:48am

"P. S. Her attire is atrocious, I wouldn't wear that top to Duane Reade."

She's sporting the "Jennifer Beals in Flashdance" look.

[Wilmingtom]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 12:37pm

I don't understand the problem with leaning forward. I often lean with my arms on my legs because I have back problems and it's more comfortable. And I've always thought it was better for the person seated behind me because there's less height for them to look over if I'm leaning forward instead of sitting upright. What am I missing?

[ChairinMain]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 12:39pm

Guys....she got called Disgusting. DISGUSTING. Because of her hair. There's a line of human decency that just got crossed here, and while she was maybe, at the most, rude.

[frogs_fan85]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 12:40pm

The issue with leaning forward is the angle. If you're in a mezzanine or balcony, the rake is such that when you're leaning forward you're actually encroaching on their direct field of view. When sitting upright your head is actually below their eye line towards the stage.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 12:41pm

It affects the line of vision of the people behind you. Remember they aren't looking straight over your head, they are looking over you and DOWN. When you lean forward you often block how they see the stage.

It can be annoying.

I don't think she got called disgusting because of her hairstyle, but rather because she then threw it up in their faces upon taking her hair back down.

Updated On: 1/21/15 at 12:41 PM

[KJisgroovy]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 12:46pm

The people clearly crossed the line when they called her disgusting, but I don't think it's the house mangers job to make sure everyone in the audience is a good person. It's not their job to make sure no one has hurt feelings. They're not the fair police.

[mattyp4]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 12:48pm

I'm just confused by all her references about how old & near-death the audience is. She even made light of the guy who had a heart attack. ("For a minute, I think about how many heart attacks have probably occurred in this building, just in the last year.")

I mean, she sounds like an AGEIST to me.

Otherwise I sympathize with her on the hair stuff. I'm sorry she had to go through that.

(But yeah, that outfit IS pretty atrocious for the opera. She could have done better there!)

[Wilmingtom]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 1:00pm

Thanks to those who've set me straight on the leaning forward business. I'll stop doing it.

[Sutton Ross]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 1:10pm

Her hair is big and poofy, which is rude to the person behind you. There is nothing racist about it. When I attend theater or an opera with my boyfriend, he wears his dreads down out of courtesy.

She's dressed like such an a$shole for the opera. Jesus.

[bluetuna]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 2:38pm

The "disgusting" comment seems it could have been with regards to the fact that she turned and confronted them. When I go to theatre, I've been asked to lean more to one side or sit back a certain way because I'm on the taller side. I'm taller, so I understand this is just something I might have to do (to the best of my ability and comfort) for the sake of someone else's enjoyment of a show they've spent money to see.

Setting aside the ambiguously-directed "disgusting" comment that seems to have come after she began taping the exchange, it's pretty insane to smack someone with the label "racist" because they don't feel comfortable sitting behind you when they can't enjoy (or even see) the performance. The cure here seemed simple, so although the couple could have asked to move, they may not have seen available seats (and thought that effort would seem futile and a bit ridiculous), or simply wanted to remain in the seats on which they spent so much money.

[Liza's Headband]

Posted: 1/21/15 at 3:05pm

Just stopping in to voice my support with those who have pushed back against this Dumbass. This piece (in JEZEBEL, no less) is click-baiting nonsense. Move on.