Does anyone have a copy of the revised lyrics to War is a Science? I'd like to include the new version in my musical theater audition book. I already have the musical from the original score.
CHARLEMAGNE: War is a science Which a general must use With stratagems and strategies Statistical analyses To know how many soldiers he's Prepared to lose...
Now, gentlemen, this is the plan for tomorrow's skirmish:
The army of the enemy is stationed on the hill So we've got to draw them down here Where they're easier to kill So you in the ravine (that's this area in green) Will move across the plain Where you plainly can be seen Then the enemy (in blue) Will undoubtedly pursue And we'll hope to keep your losses To comparatively few...
And then...
SOLDIERS: And then...
CHARLEMAGNE: And gentlemen, and then...
PIPPIN: And then the men go marching out into the fray Conquering the enemy and carrying the day Hark! The blood is pounding in our ears Jubilations! We can hear a grateful nation's cheers --
CHARLEMAGNE: Pippin, sit down immediately! Now where was I? Oh, yes...
A general accepts that war Is hell or even worse He must never be too cautious Or casualty averse I'm certain the majority Of blood that you will spatter'll Be theirs, with just a minimum Of damage that's collateral But we know for success We must always pay a price That's why for my success You must sacrifice!
And then...
SOLDIERS: And then...
CHARLEMAGNE: And gentlemen, and then...
PIPPIN: And then the men go marching out into the fray --
CHARLEMAGNE: Pippin!
PIPPIN: Sorry, Father.
CHARLEMAGNE: Well, now time is short. I'll have to speed the whole damn thing up...
Listen to me, men, as I endeavor to explain What separates a charlatan from a Charlemagne A rule that's known to generals illustrious and various Though pompous as a Pompey or daring as a Darius A little rule that ev'ry leader knows by heart: It's smarter to be lucky than it's lucky to be smart
And then...
SOLDIERS: And then...
CHARLEMAGNE: And gentlemen, and then...
Now, Pippin, now!
SOLDIERS: And then the men go marching out into the fray Conquering the enemy and carrying the day Hark! The blood is pounding in our ears Jubilations! We can hear a grateful nation's cheers...
Has Schwartz talked about why they were so heavily revised? I don't think the new ones are any better/clearer/funnier/whatever. They just seem to be changed for change sake.
The old lyrics were mostly a pastiche of Gilbert and Sullivan, dealing with war in a somewhat slapstick fashion. The new lyrics are more satirical of war in general, and warmongering in particular.
I daresay the rhymes in the new set of lyrics are tighter, and the editing of the song makes it more fast-paced and less likely to wear out its welcome.
Thank you so much...I played the role of Charlemagne back in 2000....and I saw the production last year....and I was like "Wha!" But the new lyrics will be very helpful to me!