Chipping America

[ucjrdude902]

This is making the rounds of Facebook. People are freaking out. Thoughts?

http://conservativepost.com/nbc-news-all-americans-will-be-microchipped-in-less-than-3-years/

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

My thoughts are you should defriend some people, baby.

[Jordan Catalano]

Obama's going to come to our houses and do it himself or else blow us up like he did when he went over to Benghazi and killed all those poor Americans.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

In my day, the mark of the beast right under our noses was UPC symbols!

[Elfuhbuh]

People have literally been talking about the chipping for years. A few years ago, everyone was saying we would all be chipped by 2012 (hence the end of the world). The thing is that, when chippings and other proposed disasters don't happen on the predicted date, the conspiracy theorists just bump up the date further and keep panicking. People claimed Bush would force us to get chips, now people are saying Obama is going to do it, and then, when we get a new President in a couple years, the people will say he/she will force us to be chipped.

In other words, there is no reason to be scared. We'll be fine.

[Jordan Catalano]

Literally as in literally or literally as in figuratively?

[Elfuhbuh]

Literally as in literally. You can find articles and message boards from ages ago discussing microchippings.

[FindingNamo]

Don't ask me to reveal too much but I do not now nor have I ever worked for a college or university. However, let's just say I work adjacent to the feds. And I am here to tell you the CHiPs Project was real and was piloted by the Clinton Administration. I am not at liberty to reveal how many Americans were involuntarily microchipped but let me just hint that it approached seven figures. However, due to unexpected negative effects on one of the major temporal lobes (if I reveal which one I may unmask myself) of more than 75% of the UVs ("Unknowing Volunteers"), the entire project was cancelled. After Lewinsky, the very last thing Cllinton needed was to have his very own Tuskegee Syphilis Scandal on his hands.

For the clearest example of the fritzes the chips caused, you need look no further than the posts of our very own Mr Roxy. Bless his heart.

[Elfuhbuh]

So the plot thickens. ^

[FindingNamo]

I've said more than I should have.

[Addison D.]

Love me some CHiPS

[PalJoey]

They don't need to microchip us. We do it voluntarily on Facebook.

[D2]

And PJ for the win.

[tazber]

[FindingNamo]

Probably just being paranoid, but four calls with no ID after 2 this morning, nobody saying anything, just silence. Shut the phone off after that.

[PalJoey]

That was probably just Liza's Headband, butt-dialing you.

[FindingNamo]

Ha ha! "Sorry, Wrong Person!"

[dented146]

Namo, how do you know about this?

[Mister Matt]

If a microchip will get me free Amazon Prime, I'm in!

[FindingNamo]

I've probably said more than I should have, dented. So if you guys noticed I stopped posting, ha ha.

[Liza's Headband]

That was probably just Liza's Headband, butt-dialing you.

No need to butt-dial when I could just booty call him. Love you, FN.

[FindingNamo]

I blame YOU, PJ!!!

Got anything to say for yourself LH/MM?

[Liza's Headband]

Only that I miss you deeply, and I'm always here. Watching over you. Never forget that.

Peace & Love,
LH

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

W/TF

[FindingNamo]

But LH/MM did you FINALLY have a realization? A dawning of awareness? An epiphany?

[Liza's Headband]

Only that you were supposed to love me. Love me, and no one else. But I have accepted it will never be possible and I've moved on. I'll always be that angel over your shoulder, though. Watching over you here on BroadwayWorld.com.

<3 LH