How much theater is too much?

macnyc
Broadway Legend
joined:7/26/08
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/13/13 at 11:04pm
My family staged an intervention today when I got home from work. They think I see too much theater! They think that seeing a show five or six times is too much, and a sign that I need help. I saw about 100 shows last year. They say that they don't know anyone who sees that much theater! I work a full-time job, and I also work a part-time job on the side that pays for my theatergoing. I honestly feel that seeing two show a week is not too much. I am a good spouse, and my daughter is grown, so I'm not taking care of a young child. Help me out, here! Is 100 shows too much? I feel I am a responsible adult, and I'm entitled to enjoy myself a little bit. As long as I can afford the theater, what's the harm? I love my family, but I don't know what to do. I need to work this out. Any suggestions?
CapnHook
Broadway Legend
joined:5/12/03
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/13/13 at 11:09pm
How much TV do they watch? How often do they go to the movies?

Too much of ANYTHING can be a bad thing. As long as you are not living above your means, there is no such thing as "too much theater."
"The Spectacle has, indeed, an emotional attraction of its own, but, of all the parts, it is the least artistic, and connected least with the art of poetry. For the power of Tragedy, we may be sure, is felt even apart from representation and actors. Besides, the production of spectacular effects depends more on the art of the stage machinist than on that of the poet."
--Aristotle
promisespromises2
Featured Actor
joined:5/23/13
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/13/13 at 11:13pm
If you're not harming anyone (including yourself), I don't see the issue.

There's a big difference between going to shows because you enjoy them and going to shows because you HAVE to go to them.

I don't think a lot of people understand people who do things that make themselves happy now-a-days. My parents are always getting on me about spending money on theater (I live in VA, my friend and I try to go up at least twice every season and binge on shows for the whole weekend), but it makes me happy and I'm not going to stop doing something just because someone else doesn't understand it.

If you have the means, and you can stop your theatre-going at any time without repercussions to yourself, I don't see the harm! Enjoy your life. (:
Sutton Ross
Broadway Star
joined:7/20/13
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/13/13 at 11:34pm
Who are they to judge what you enjoy? Tell them to get a life! Your money, your time, your life. Enjoy!
“Arguing with anonymous strangers on the Internet is a sucker's game because they almost always turn out to be, or to be indistinguishable from, self-righteous sixteen-year-olds possessing infinite amounts of free time.” Neal Stephenson
Liza's Headband
Broadway Legend
joined:5/28/13
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/13/13 at 11:39pm
Oh, yeah. just tell your spouse and daughter to buzz off and "get a life." That's what any sensible, mature adult would say to his or her family. Clearly.

My two cents: confer with those you know and trust on these lofty personal matters. Not strangers on a message board.
"I'm fine, and my hips are fine. My false knee is fine. My false hips are fine. Everything's cooking." -Liza
Andre4
Chorus Member
joined:5/31/11
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/13/13 at 11:52pm
If it makes you feel better tell them to contact me....I see just as much (including concerts and stand-up) and don't even live in NYC proper! :)
Borstalboy
Broadway Legend
joined:2/9/04
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/13/13 at 11:52pm
You are a grownup. You should be able to spend your time and your money in any way you see fit.

When you can't hold a conversation not regarding theater, then it's a problem, but other than that, I'd say you're fine. And I envy you!

Maybe your folks see a creative side of yourself that they think you are repressing by watching the creativity of others. Just guessing, of course...
"It's now rather very common to hear people say 'I'm rather offended by that'. As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more than a whine. It has no meaning, no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that'. Well, so f**king what?"--Stephen Fry
CATSNYrevival
Broadway Legend
joined:3/1/04
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 12:03am
If this is for real this is sad. There are far worse habits to have than going to the theatre and odds are most of them spend far more time watching TV than you spend at the theatre. The only difference is that TV costs a bit less. As long as you can afford your theatre habit and it's not driving you to bankruptcy (which would be worthy of an intervention) then there is no problem here. Show them this thread.
That's right! Underscore mother-fu@#ers!
jnb9872
Broadway Legend
joined:11/24/08
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 12:04am
I have not participated in an intervention, nor had one sprung on me, but I imagine that the heart of a well-reasoned case to be made would have to be that your habit is resulting in the prominent lacking of something(s) else in your life that is neglected by your current choices. Did they make any sort of a compelling case as to what you might be missing in life, to their eyes?

It is fully your right as an adult to simply choose different priorities in life than they might, but to your question of how to work this out, make sure you pay attention to what they seem to be suggesting you are coming up short on. If you hear them out, acknowledge it and yet disagree, then that's that (and it's been dealt with with respect and love and care.) If they have nothing, then their argument would seem to amount to nothing as well. And, of course, if they manage to make an argument that you have neglected something that strikes a chord with you, don't let pride and peer pressure from a theatre messageboard stop you from fixing it!

Just my two cents. Don't have much to go on as you know them and how they meant to come across, but hope it helps.

Words don’t deserve that kind of malarkey. They’re innocent, neutral, precise, standing for this, describing that, meaning the other, so if you look after them you can build bridges across incomprehension and chaos. But when they get their corners knocked off, they’re no good anymore…I don’t think writers are sacred, but words are. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones in the right order, you can nudge the world a little.
Updated On: 12/14/13 at 12:04 AM
Ex-Siny
Understudy
joined:11/2/13
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 12:50am
If you work a part-time job on top of your full-time job and then see 2 shows a week, that does not leave much time for your family, does it ? Perhaps they are feeling neglected ?
I would love to be able to see 100 shows a year. But I'll save that for when I am retired.



Updated On: 12/14/13 at 12:50 AM
After Eight
Broadway Legend
joined:6/5/09
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 01:12am
I would say if it's not harming anyone, then what's the harm? Let's say you were a sports fan who spent all weekend and several nights a week watching football, baseball, and basketball games, all year round. That would represent far more time than you spend at the theatre.

But in the intervention, did your family express the idea that your theatregoing has a negative impact on your relationship with them by taking away time they feel you should spend with them, or that it causes you to neglect other matters they deem to be important? If so, I'd say such issues would be worth addressing.

Just curious --- did they also comment on the amount of time you spend reading/posting on a theatre message board such as this one?
CATSNYrevival
Broadway Legend
joined:3/1/04
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 01:15am
Just take your family to the theatre with you. That will solve everything.
That's right! Underscore mother-fu@#ers!
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend
joined:7/22/03
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 01:21am
I don't think we're getting the full picture here. Isn't a major component of an intervention the part where the concerned parties express the ways in which your addiction has hurt them? I feel like you left that out.
"Colbert is toast after this latest flap." -- Mr Roxy "Read 'Atlas Shrugged'." -- Gothampc
Tag
Broadway Legend
joined:11/19/05
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 01:22am
It's probably not beneficial for you to get advice on this subject from people here. Most of the posters on this board, either have the same problem as you, or want to have your problem (of seeing 100 shows). Clearly your family believes there is an issue that needs to be dealt with.

And remember, they're more important than any show you'll see this year.
ARTc3
Broadway Star
joined:8/5/13
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 01:46am
I'm curious about the "five or six times" comment. I see a lot of theater. I suspect close to or even in excess of 100 performances a year. I rarely see something more than once. There are very few shows that I have seen twice and far fewer that I have seen three times.

I agree with all the comments, but mostly with jnb9872. An intervention is a serious matter. Is there more to this story?
ARTc3 formerly ARTc. Actually been a poster since 2004. My name isn't Art. Drop the "3" and say the signature and you'll understand.
bjh2114
Broadway Legend
joined:4/19/06
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 02:06am
I saw 201 shows in 2010 (that's my record). My family was impressed, not concerned.
dramamama611
Broadway Legend
joined:12/4/07
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 02:59am
I understand the passion, but I'm going to agree with Ex-Siny: working a full time AND a part time job already takes a lot of time away from your spouse/family. Add to that more time away to SEE the theater and I can see why those around you might be concerned. I'm going to guess you talk about it quite a bit as well -- which along with the time -- can be off putting to those not involved.

What do you do when you ARE home? Maybe you aren't as engaged as a spouse/family member as you suspect you are.

I'm not one to tell others how to live their lives, but brushing off family concerns doesn't seem to be the best option.
If we're not having fun, then why are we doing it? These are DISCUSSION boards, not mutual admiration boards. Discussion only occurs when we are willing to hear what others are thinking, regardless of whether it is alignment to our own thoughts.
indytallguy
Stand-by
joined:7/13/08
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 06:20am
If this was truly an intervention, then the underlying concern might be that they are expressing a desire for you to spend some of your theatre time in other ways, maybe with them. The question may not be how much theatre is too much, but how are your theatre-going habits (twice a week doesn't seem unreasonable to me) is affecting others who care about you and how you can respond to their concerns/preferences.
KathyNYC2
Broadway Star
joined:12/2/10
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 07:02am
I agree that asking us is not really key here.

But just for the record - I like to re-read books, re-watch movies and see the same shows again. I get something different out of it each time I go. I don't spend a lot of money on shows in general - I look for discounts, so I am certainly more apt to go see a show again if I win a lottery or something similar. So there's not a problem there.

That said, I agree with those above that questioned is your family really saying you are seeing too much theater or are they saying they would like to spend more time with you and you are ignoring them by going to the theater so much. If it's a like saying "my husband only watches sports and has no time for me", then I think you need to re-think.

Of course, I have no idea what your family dynamic is like (nor it is any of my business) but those were just my thoughts..



Updated On: 12/14/13 at 07:02 AM
Liza's Headband
Broadway Legend
joined:5/28/13
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 09:07am
I repeat: this is not a matter for consultation on a public message board between strangers (for the most part). I encourage you to really open up a dialogue with your loved ones and, if necessary, speak to a professional or trusted friend; someone outside of the situation. You will never get the advice you need on a Broadway message board. The consensus on here will expectedly be "who cares? keep seeing those shows!"

Tag highlighted the problem with seeking advice for something like this on a theatre website. I completely agree. And also feel you have not shared with us the full story, such as how YOUR family has been impacted by this obvious obsession (yes, it's an obsession).
"I'm fine, and my hips are fine. My false knee is fine. My false hips are fine. Everything's cooking." -Liza
Matt1
Stand-by
joined:5/10/13
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 11:58am
While I have not seen 100 shows in one year, I did see Billy Elliot 20 times and as long as I am not in a financial situation, it is fine. I am not currently married so maybe your family is feeling like you do not spend enough time with them. If that is the case address that I would think. Also as someone said, do you feel like you want to see this much theater or do you need to?
macnyc
Broadway Legend
joined:7/26/08
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 12:31pm
Thank you very much for all the responses. I had a talk with my husband this morning, and I think a couple of things are going on. One of them is that he could use my help with a project he's doing, and I've put it on the back burner because I'm out of the house so much. So I'm going to take care of that, and I'm going to limit myself to one show a day on a weekend and not do two (which happens only occasionally). Also, he doesn't really enjoy the theater, but he will come with me if I have an extra ticket. He really liked Beautiful (he wanted to see that; he loves Carole King) and he'll come with me to see Twelfth Night next month because I love that production so much and I think he will, too.

I do tend to be obsessive, and I have to keep a lid on that. It's just that there are so many shows and so little time!
Liza's Headband
Broadway Legend
joined:5/28/13
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 01:20pm
Life is short and we are all mere morals. Cherish the people who are in your life and you love first and foremost. There will always be Broadway and theatre and plays and musicals.
"I'm fine, and my hips are fine. My false knee is fine. My false hips are fine. Everything's cooking." -Liza
dramamama611
Broadway Legend
joined:12/4/07
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 02:21pm
Well, not if you listen to Mr. Roxy!
If we're not having fun, then why are we doing it? These are DISCUSSION boards, not mutual admiration boards. Discussion only occurs when we are willing to hear what others are thinking, regardless of whether it is alignment to our own thoughts.
Liza's Headband
Broadway Legend
joined:5/28/13
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 04:41pm
LOL So true, Dramamama.
"I'm fine, and my hips are fine. My false knee is fine. My false hips are fine. Everything's cooking." -Liza
jnb9872
Broadway Legend
joined:11/24/08
How much theater is too much?
Posted: 12/14/13 at 11:34pm
I'm glad you were able to take a moment to listen to what your husband had to say, since it seems like it was very important for him to communicate it. If we here had any part in that, I'm glad we could help!
Words don’t deserve that kind of malarkey. They’re innocent, neutral, precise, standing for this, describing that, meaning the other, so if you look after them you can build bridges across incomprehension and chaos. But when they get their corners knocked off, they’re no good anymore…I don’t think writers are sacred, but words are. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones in the right order, you can nudge the world a little.