Worst Insults?
Worst Insults?
#1Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/2/12 at 8:00pm
What are the worst insults you remember from a critic for a show they didn't like?
For example: I was going to leave at the interval, but forced myself to stay to the very end on your behalf, so you don't have to. Ghetto Klown, Charles Spencer, Daily Telegraph.
#2Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/2/12 at 8:04pm
My all time favorite: John Simon said "Liza Minnelli looks like a rodent en route to a costume ball."
"Through The Sacrifice You Made, We Can't Believe The Price You Paid..For Love!"
Far From Home
Understudy Joined: 4/8/12
#4Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/2/12 at 8:25pm
John Simon was/is the worst. He didn't just criticize people's work, he went after them personally, often for traits over which they had no control.
E.g., "Dianne Wiest's eyes look like two coin slots waiting for someone to drop pennies into them."
WTF?! (I saw the play in question, BTW; Wiest was brilliant.)
Far From Home
Understudy Joined: 4/8/12
#5Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/2/12 at 8:26pm
Clive Barnes in the Post for Moose Murders. The "review" was one paragraph on the first page of the entertainment section. He said something like, "This show is so bad I'm not going to waste anyones time writing a review."
Updated On: 11/2/12 at 08:26 PM
#6Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/2/12 at 8:30pmToo bad. Because there were parts of MOOSE MURDERS that were funny enough I'd like to read a cogent explanation for the play's failure as a whole. Not that such an analysis would be in Barnes' skill set, but I'd like to hear it from somebody.
#7Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/2/12 at 8:44pmIt might have been The Palace performance I don't remember. It was one of his reviews collection books.
"Through The Sacrifice You Made, We Can't Believe The Price You Paid..For Love!"
#8Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/2/12 at 8:48pmJust to be clear, Minnelli was an icon when Simon called her a rat; his quote re Dianne Wiest was from a review of "Bonjour La Bonjour", which I believe was her first New York play.
#9Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/2/12 at 8:50pmGPS, you are correct. He was needlessly hurtful just to be so. Unfortunately, he was an effective wordsmith.
"Through The Sacrifice You Made, We Can't Believe The Price You Paid..For Love!"
#10Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/2/12 at 10:10pm
I agree, playbilly, but that made his cruelty even less forgivable. Simon was actually smart enough to have made a contribution to the art form, but that wasn't his aim, apparently.
(In fact, the Diane Wiest crack stuck in my mind for 40 years precisely because, by Simon's standards, it was so poorly worded. If you want to say she looks like a slot machine, just say so. Or better yet, don't.)
Updated On: 11/2/12 at 10:10 PM
#11Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/2/12 at 10:29pm
Frank Rich's entire review of MOOSE MURDERS was both kind (because he never mentioned anyone involved by name) and insulting (because it was just a hysterical pan, deservedly so).
morosco
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/10/04
#12Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/2/12 at 10:50pm
The sexless casting of the principal roles by the director, Trevor Nunn, only adds to the musical's icy emotional infantilism. From her very first line - a line from 'The Master Builder,' no less - Ms. [Ann] Crumb's Rose is a tough cookie, unconvincing as a tempestuous star known for her performances of the classics or as a femme fatale who, in her words, 'could have a thousand lovers.' With her piercing singing voice and loud, fake laughter, this actress could shatter glass more easily than hearts.
-Frank Rich on ASPECTS OF LOVE
aaronb
Broadway Star Joined: 6/3/12
#13Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 10:37amPeople forget that John Simon also wrote some very lovely reviews. His review of WIT ends, "For this play alone, she [Edson] should be handed the Harvard English department."
aaronb
Broadway Star Joined: 6/3/12
#14Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 10:38amOh, and George S. Kaufman, as always, is brilliant: "There was laughter at the back of the theatre, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there."
Wilmingtom
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/18/11
#15Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 12:21pmI recall Simon referring to "the aptly named Ann Crumb" in his review of ASPECTS OF LOVE.
#16Worst Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 9:38pm
It's not the worst, but so the thread has some more activity :P - Variety's evaluation of Bernadette Peters in the recent FOLLIES revival was quite harsh.
"When those big ballads come along, we can't tell whether Sally is struggling with her emotions or Peters is just struggling with the notes." (lol).
"Victoria Clark replaces the miscast and vocally compromised Bernadette Peters" (ouch).
"You can't overrate Bernadette Peters. She is such a genius. There's a moment in "Too Many Mornings" and Bernadette doing 'I wore green the last time' - It's a voice that is just already given up - it is so sorrowful. Tragic. You can see from that moment the show is going to be headed into such dark territory and it hinges on this tiny throwaway moment of the voice." - Ben Brantley (2022)
"Bernadette's whole, stunning performance [as Rose in Gypsy] galvanized the actors capable of letting loose with her. Bernadette's Rose did take its rightful place, but too late, and unseen by too many who should have seen it" Arthur Laurents (2009)
"Sondheim's own favorite star performances? [Bernadette] Peters in ''Sunday in the Park,'' Lansbury in ''Sweeney Todd'' and ''obviously, Ethel was thrilling in 'Gypsy.'' Nytimes, 2000
