How to tell if your man is gay or bisexual

Phyllis Rogers Stone
Broadway Legend
joined:9/16/07

I actually linked through this at Pam's when I was looking up stuff on GLAAD v Sherri Shepherd, but this is so redonk it deserved its own thread. The link itself is actually a Kenyan blogger, repeating something posted in this book.

Some of the signs to look for and observe are:


1) Men are very territorial, if another man enters their space or
violates their square, he'll move away or take a step back, if he
doesn't move this might be a sign that he's open for getting closer.
Notice if they brush shoulders or lean over across each other
touching ever so slightly like lovers do.

2) Is he effeminate? Some men slowly move into a more feminine stand, or pose. They might start wearing their belts tighter to show their shape, or it might just be the flinging up of a finger or how they place their feet when standing. Or they may start wearing footies around the house and walking on their toes. It's doubtful they'll slip and do any of this.

3) If he holds eye contact too long with a man, or if he holds on to his hand after shaking it, or if he prolongs hugging a man past the greeting stage.

4) If you notice him watching other men just a little bit too much, or if he raises his voice a bit too loud when he's with you and other men are present to get their attention. Does he seem to follow a man to the restroom at a restaurant or club?

5) Check out his friends, how do they act with each other, are they masculine or working hard to appear so, do they talk on the phone a bit too much for two adult men?

6) How does he sleep at night, what position does he sleep in? Does he sleep like a woman, or like a man? What does he talk about in his sleep?

7) Has he been single just a bit too long? What is his history with women? Why did they break up, Does he go on long drives alone? Is he cruising?

Discuss homosexuality with him, see how he reacts. If he reacts too strongly on the negative or too violently perhaps he's protesting so strongly to throw you off track so he isn't suspect himself.

9) Discuss child molestation with him and see how he feels about it,ask him was he ever molested, does he know any men who were, and how does he think it affects a man's sexuality.

10) You can touch his rectum to see if he has those tell-tale humps on his anus from having it stretched open with a penis. Then later on ask him if he's ever had hemorrhoids really bad.

11) Check his underwear for tiny streaks of bloodstains, or clear
stains which may be semen. There may not be any because men on the DL are usually `Tops' so they can justify themselves as not being Gay.

12) Chart your sex life. Note how often you and he are intimate andif you're always the one who has to start the process rolling. Is he in a hurry? Is it a problem for him getting an maintaining an erection, when it never used to be that difficult?

13) If he has a lot of unexcused absences, and if he's out later than he usually is a couple of times a week. He might be cruising or stopping by a Gay after-hour joint after his regular activities.

14) If he likes anal stimulation, or likes to have his prostrate
massaged and asks/begs for it.

15) If he wants to have anal sex more than vaginal sex, or skips your vagina altogether.

16) If he asks you to "toss his salad" and you agree, and his legs go up too quickly, he's probably used to doing it.

17) Some women get their Gay friend to "hit" on their man to see if he goes for it (Not good).

1 If he asks you to strap on a dildo and do him in the rear this may be a hint of what he's used to.

Don't starts accusing until you know you've seen several signs,
discussed it with a counselor or some other trained professional.

Rants and Raves of a Kenyan Gay Man

StockardFan
Broadway Legend
joined:6/19/08
WTF?
KFTC!!!!!
Q
Broadway Legend
joined:11/3/05
"How to tell if your man is gay or bisexual"

He likes Cock.

The end.
StageManager2
Broadway Legend
joined:10/21/05
"13) If he has a lot of unexcused absences, and if he's out later than he usually is a couple of times a week. He might be cruising or stopping by a Gay after-hour joint after his regular activities."

He could just as well be having an affair with another WOMAN.
Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia
Phyllis Rogers Stone
Broadway Legend
joined:9/16/07
I like that the absences are not unexplained, but unexcused.
StockardFan
Broadway Legend
joined:6/19/08
Yeah, like he's skipping school or something.....
KFTC!!!!!
Reginald Tresilian
Broadway Legend
joined:6/12/08
A truck driver tried to cut me off as I was crossing the street the other day and, just as in item 2, he flung up at finger at me.

Now I know what it means!
StockardFan
Broadway Legend
joined:6/19/08
I just re-read #2. I'm LMAO at the walking around in footies on their toes.
KFTC!!!!!
doodlenyc
Broadway Legend
joined:11/5/04
What's a footie?

Does that mean a foot long?
"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

singtopher
Broadway Legend
joined:12/28/05
I hate it when I slip and accidentally put on footies and walk around on my toes.
"If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it." -Stephen Colbert
clever name
Broadway Legend
joined:3/12/08
How do you "sleep like a woman"? ..Just so I know what to look for..
Reginald Tresilian
Broadway Legend
joined:6/12/08
^ Negligee, lacy eye mask . . . that sort of thing.
AEA AGMA SM
Broadway Legend
joined:8/13/09
I seem to not be covered by a good number of those items. I guess that means I must not really be gay?
Did you know that every day Mexican gays cross our borders and unplug our brain-dead ladies?
tazber
Broadway Legend
joined:5/10/05
"Does he sleep like a woman or like a man"

can someone please explain the difference to me?
....but the world goes 'round
Phyllis Rogers Stone
Broadway Legend
joined:9/16/07
Hell, I've been single a bit too long. Does this mean I'm straight?
TheatreFan4
Broadway Legend
joined:8/12/09
I don't really have any of these! Being gay IS just a phase! Happy days!
"Hi there, we represent The Broadway Better Business Players for a Better Tomorrow. We're trying to start a petition to get second rate shows taken off the marquee and with your help we can stop Mamma Mia from ever playing again." -Brad Jones in Suburban Knights

"Is it true you have Ralph Jr at the bottom of your purse in a jar of formaldehyde?" - Felicia
"No, but I wish I did so I could shove it down your throat!" - Bernadette

"This play is sh*t! This play is sh*t! F*CK YOU TERRENCE MCNALLY!!"- Patti LuPone as an angry theatre goer at 'Master Class'

"Being normal is VASTLY overrated..."
- Aggie Cromwell
tazber
Broadway Legend
joined:5/10/05
LOL tf4!
....but the world goes 'round
doodlenyc
Broadway Legend
joined:11/5/04
How many of you just checked for "tell tale humps"?
"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

nmartin
Broadway Legend
joined:6/3/05
^^^^^^
I did and quite enjoyed it.
Craww
Broadway Legend
joined:12/13/06
How many of you just checked for "tell tale humps"?

I now fear that this is what I'm gonna think of if I'm ever unlucky enough to hear My Humps again.
PalJoey
Broadway Legend
joined:3/11/04
10) You can touch his rectum to see if he has those tell-tale humps on his anus from having it stretched open with a penis.

That has to be one of the most perfectly crafted sentences ever created in the English language.

Read it aloud several times and tell me if you disagree.
yr pal,
joey




Blocked so far: suestorm, Master Bates
givesmevoice
Broadway Legend
joined:12/2/07
It's so filthy in its eloquence. Or so eloquent in its filth.
When I see the phrase "the ____ estate", I imagine a vast mansion in the country full of monocled men and high-collared women receiving letters about productions across the country and doing spit-takes at whatever they contain. -Kad
SNAFU
Broadway Legend
joined:4/20/04
She forgot the old classic "... his dick tastes like sh*t!"
Those Blocked: SueStorm. N2N Nate. Good riddence to stupid! Rad-Z, shill begone!
Phyllis Rogers Stone
Broadway Legend
joined:9/16/07
Is it a problem for him getting an maintaining an erection, when it never used to be that difficult?

I like this one, too. It suggests he might just one day suddenly get the gay and be unable to get it up for her.
dramamama611
Broadway Legend
joined:12/4/07
"Toss his salad" I admit, I have NO idea to what this is actually referring (I suppose I can GUESS), HOWEVER, couldn't the sign of his legs going up so fast just mean he wants "it" before she changes her mind--again????


To everything and everyone else: I thank you.
If we're not having fun, then why are we doing it? These are DISCUSSION boards, not mutual admiration boards. Discussion only occurs when we are willing to hear what others are thinking, regardless of whether it is alignment to our own thoughts.
nygrl232
Broadway Legend
joined:9/19/08
Someone sure put a lot of thought into that list. I learned something. Footies make you ghey and stretching the anus makes it humpy.

You wouldn't want two men stripping off their clothes revealing twin sets of glistening abs, would you?
http://www.theonion.com/articles/repeal-of-dont-ask-dont-tell-paves-way-for-gay-sex,17698/

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