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Cringeworthy Lyrics

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dreaming
Broadway Legend
joined:4/24/09
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 01:33pm
The last line is "With her head against my hand". Personally, I love that song.

I think most of what I'd put in here has been mentioned.
djb Profile Photo
djb
Stand-by
joined:5/17/06
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 01:43pm
just double-checked because i thought i was going mad, but george hearn, ron raines, and john mcmartin all sing "head against my head." and i do love the song, it took me about ten years to realize what they were singing and that moment just stands out for me now.
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dreaming
Broadway Legend
joined:4/24/09
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 01:49pm
Noted. I heard it differently. It always sounds like hand to me.
Updated On: 6/27/12 at 01:49 PM
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Anthony Fremont
Stand-by
joined:6/16/10
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 01:50pm
How has it taken this long to bring up Herbert Kretzmer?

"I've never heard him ooh and ahh/It's better than an OH-PEAR-AH"
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James885
Broadway Legend
joined:5/2/05
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 01:59pm
Newintown mentioned this lyric in another thread, but I'll repost this little gem from Sunset Boulevard:

Shut up, I'm rich! Not some platinum blonde bitch! / I own so many apartments, I've forgotten which is which!
"You drank a charm to kill John Proctor's wife! You drank a charm to kill Goody Proctor!" - Betty Parris to Abigail Williams in Arthur Miller's The Crucible
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Nickhutson
Broadway Star
joined:7/6/06
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 04:24pm
"kiss me too fiercely/hold me too tight". - As long as you're mine (Wicked)

I love Schwartz's lyrics - but this should be TIGHTLY! It's bothered me since day one.

Nick Hutson Co-Presenter/Producer MusicalTalk - The UK's Musical Theatre Podcast http://www.musicaltalk.co.uk
The Scorpion
Featured Actor
joined:1/3/07
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 04:54pm
Pretty much the entire libretto of Love Never Dies is cringeworthy. I can't think of a single non-cringeworthy line from it (a reflection on the show as a whole, I think). It is the lowest of the low. How does Glenn Slater get work?

I also think Kunze's lyrics for his Europop musicals, which I don't care for, are awful. So bad that I imagine Christopher Hampton's job for Rebecca involves starting from scratch, because they surely can't expect to get away with just translating what the original German lyrics were -- they were atrocious.

Updated On: 6/27/12 at 04:54 PM
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GavestonPS
Broadway Legend
joined:6/10/12
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 05:22pm
^^^^^Agreed re LOVE NEVER DIES, but every reiteration of "Devil take the hind-most" is surely the worst. (And, yes, I knew the expression before I saw the show.)

***

The last line is "With her head against my hand". Personally, I love that song.

I do, too, but it's "head". Rhymes with "bed".

FINISHING THE HAT, p. 224.

In re the poster who brought it up, I have no idea what is "creepy" about resting in bed with your head against a lover's head. I mean one presumes the heads are still connected to their bodies; the heads aren't resting in a tray.
Prospero99
Swing
joined:6/27/12
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 05:30pm
From The Scarlet PimpFromHell

Where's the Girl?

"We were cut from the same surly star..."

Now the melody of this song is probably the only one Wildhorn wrote that I like, but that phrase just made me sit up and exclaim, "What the fop?!"
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PapaGe
Understudy
joined:6/11/12
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 05:41pm
Not to beat the Love Never Dies horse to death, but the song that made me snort out loud in the movie theater was "Beneath a Moonless Sky." Specifically, describing a one night stand:

And I kissed you.
And caressed you.
And the world around us fell away,
we said things in the dark,
we never dared to say.
And I caught you.
And I kissed you.
And I took you.
And caressed you.
With a need too urgent to deny.
And nothing mattered then
except for you and I.
Again and then again,
beneath a moonless sky.
BwayKitty
Swing
joined:10/17/11
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 05:46pm
Take anything from the song SUNSET BOULEVARD, but this is my favorite section:

L.A.'s changed a lot over the years
Since those brave gold rush pioneers
Came in their creaky covered wagons
Far as they could go end of the line
Their dreams were yours, their dreams were mine
But in those dreams were hidden dragons
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pinkyboy
Stand-by
joined:8/9/10
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 06:00pm
I know most from Turn Off The Dark are cringe worthy, but as a Spiderman fan, I just die a bit inside during Rise Above when Arachne says
"And every heart that bleeds
Will colour your world red
And the sorrow in the night
Will be the gloom you cannot shed

But your strength will be your vision
Be your visibility
And the gift of woe before you
Will give you new eyes to see"
Just so bad. They just tried too hard to give his costume symbolism.
pinkyboy Profile Photo
pinkyboy
Stand-by
joined:8/9/10
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 06:01pm
Oh, and another one from Les Mis. I find most of the last half hour a bit cringey and preachy, but especially when Val-Jean says "To see another person is to see the face of god".
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MarkieSunshine
Swing
joined:5/8/11
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 06:05pm
from yeston/kopit's "Phantom":

Where ev'ry English horn
Makes me feel glad I'm born

barf...
Love makes the world go round
PapaGe Profile Photo
PapaGe
Understudy
joined:6/11/12
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 06:06pm
I find most of the last half hour a bit cringey and preachy, but especially when Val-Jean says "To see another person is to see the face of god".

Have to disagree on this one. The line is actually "to love another person is to see the face of God." It's a quote taken directly from the book and is, in a show about desperate people clinging to their humanity and their love for one another, beautiful and honest.
pinkyboy Profile Photo
pinkyboy
Stand-by
joined:8/9/10
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 06:08pm
^Yeah, I mistyped that I did mean "To Love.." :S I see where you're coming from but I just think it got a bit too in your face with the message.

Alot of shows do that, but I just always hated that line:)
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PapaGe
Understudy
joined:6/11/12
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 06:10pm
^ That's fair :) To each his own!
The Scorpion
Featured Actor
joined:1/3/07
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 06:27pm
And I kissed you.
And caressed you.
And the world around us fell away,
we said things in the dark,
we never dared to say.
And I caught you.
And I kissed you.
And I took you.
And caressed you.
With a need too urgent to deny.
And nothing mattered then
except for you and I.
Again and then again,
beneath a moonless sky.


Just when you thought the bad erotic paperback element, the implausibility of the storyline, the overuse of filler words like "and" and "then", and the repetition were bad enough, it gets worse: it's not even grammatically right! It should be "except for you and me", not "except for you and I"!

Just appalling on about every single level. Truly shocking.

Updated On: 6/27/12 at 06:27 PM
dexter3
Stand-by
joined:9/13/08
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/27/12 at 06:34pm
Can't believe someone hasn't mentioned this yet:

From Jesus Christ Superstar:

"Always hoped that I'd be an apostle
Knew that I would make it if I tried
Then when we retire we can write the gospels
So they'll still talk about us when we've died"

There is absolutely no way any director or any cast could make that stanza work. EVER. So weird.
K8eeyore
Stand-by
joined:8/24/04
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/29/12 at 04:03pm
Going old school here, but this verse from "You Took Advantage of Me" from PRESENT ARMS -- Lorenz Hart really liked to twist himself into a pretzel for rhymes:

"When a girl has the heart of a mother
It must go to someone, of course;
It can't be a sister or brother
And so I loved my horse.
But horses are frequently silly-
Mine ran from the beach of Kailua
And left me alone for a filly,
So I-a picked you-a."

Slightly better, but not by much, is the other verse:

"In the spring when the feeling was chronic
And my caution was leaving you flat,
I should have made use of the tonic
Before you gave me that!
A mental deficient you'll grade me.
I've given you plenty of data.
You came, you saw and you slayed me,
And that-a is that-a!"

This is one of my all-time favorite songs...if the verses are left out. But the verses just make me go, "WTF are these characters talking about?" And why would having the "heart of a mother" be a good thing in romantic love? Is she going to love her mate like a son? 'Cause that's kinda creepy, quite frankly.

Updated On: 6/29/12 at 04:03 PM
sassylash3s
Chorus Member
joined:7/5/11
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/29/12 at 05:04pm
EVITA is one of my all-time favorite musicals, but it has more than a few awful lyrics.

I can't imagine what possessed Tim Rice to think that the "B.A. Buenos Aires Big Apple" line was good enough to use once, let alone to repeat it six times. I can understand its presence on the concept album at least, because one could follow along with the lyrics while listening, but onstage it's pretty much incomprehensible. I know I had to look it up after the first time I heard it.

The one that bothers me most, though, is one of Peron's lines from "Rainbow Tour":

"I'm not underestimating you.
Just do the same thing in Italy, please."

I guess there's nothing really WRONG with it, but I always expect the second line to be "Just do the same thing in Italy, too" so it would rhyme.
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henrikegerman
Broadway Legend
joined:4/29/05
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/30/12 at 10:22am
^sorry, but rhyming "you" and "too" there would be truly cringe producing.
GavestonPS Profile Photo
GavestonPS
Broadway Legend
joined:6/10/12
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/30/12 at 01:15pm
Just want to add how much I agree with Bwaykitty: the image of hidden dragons inside our dreams inside covered wagons has always made me picture a very special episode of RAWHIDE, starring St. George.

And there are plenty of competing bad lyrics in SUNSET BLVD.

Updated On: 6/30/12 at 01:15 PM
Owen22
Broadway Legend
joined:2/24/11
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 6/30/12 at 05:29pm
"I like the ditch-plow line in Wild Party- it's a fairly obvious double entendre on Kate's sexual promiscuity, as it's implied that she "plows" several men, or is alleged to have in the past, over the course of the book and the show."

Okay, that is the furthest stretch of a defense I've ever read. And even if that was the case, how does that jibe with the first line of the stanza? Horrible, horrible.

So. Obviously no one has the cast CD to "Adams Family"...
Owen22
Broadway Legend
joined:2/24/11
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 7/2/12 at 04:51pm
Also, from "Belle" from "Beauty and the Beast".

"Oh, isn't this amazing?
It's my fav'rite part because you'll see
Here's where she meets Prince Charming
But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three"

I always thought that Chapter Three was WAY too early for that particular sort of reveal. He just need an ee rhyme.
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GlindatheGood22
Broadway Legend
joined:7/17/07
Cringeworthy Lyrics
Posted: 7/4/12 at 04:23pm
I know it's easy to pick on Carrie, but I just really have a problem with, "I prayed this day would never come/ I should have know/ I should have known/ Now I'm alone."

And, as much as I love Newsies and King of New York - "This is gonna make both the Delanceys pee in their pantsies."
I leave the room smiling.

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