The Varley Factor: Dear Broadway....

Welcome to the first entry of The Varley Factor, BroadwayWorld.com's newest ongoing blog series from Creative Director, Eddie Varley.  Look for 'The Factor' to bring you Varley's unique brand of commentary on all things theatrical... Get ready Broadway!

Dear Broadway,

You win. You've broken me down. I surrender.

I really wanted to no longer continue our "relationship."

The distance between us was becoming just too much. The Story Of My Life, honestly.

Ok, ok I admit it, I've cheated on you once or twice (The West End is a flirt and still has HAIRSPRAY).

Yeah, yeah, I had to sow my oats Off-Off Broadway, but doing the walk of shame through Shubert Alley was giving me a bad rep (and if I had to sit and watch another play about naked bi-kabuki twentysomethings trying to exist in todays hectic world, this fortysomething was going to take to a bell tower armed with a rifle and my weathered copy of Theatre World 1989).

Our "romance" was becoming unfair to both of us. Me trying to pretend that I didn't like Legally Blond while you struck back with making me sit through Glory Days. Really Broadway, really?

The truth is I do think you are strangely charismatic, despite your freakishly odd appearance - so many lackluster logos, those crowded and dirty streets, those beach chairs full of chatty non-locals hoping for standing room tickets to WICKED.

You take and you take, you tease and you taunt, you give me a lil' bit of Angela Lansbury then you take her away, only to leave me with a morose and window shopping Rupert Everett. But then you hint my beloved Ms. Lansbury might be back before I know it (TEASE!).

You promise me Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig and you actually deliver them...but NOT in LA CAGE AUX FOLLES, no in a cop drama, really Broadway? REALLY?

Even more devious, you roll out what looks like a true gem of a show that will fill my heart with joy, BYE BYE BIRDIE starring John 'Hawt Stuff' Stamos and Gina 'Hawter Stuff' Gershon. How can I think of leaving you NOW?

The question is, how much space will we need for this romantic round - do I get the aisle seat? Will I get the late night calls about your TDF discounts again? We got along like a house on fire in those early days (this was before the internet and Blu-ray), I really thought you were the one, even though I was young and enjoyed CARRIE.

So here we are, together again. I'll give you one more chance, but if I come to you ready and vunerable and your understudy is on I'm calling Arthur and he'll end this once and for all!

Get ready Broadway, this time, its personal.