Glee-Cap: Glee, Actually.
Well, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas – I guess Rachel singing a Christmas classic last week is the Glee equivalent of Santa appearing at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, except Rachel wasn't riding a sleigh and looking awesome. ...Get on that, Ryan Murphy – tick, tock for next year's Christmas spectacular de Glee. But, let's not jump in 2013 right away now – there's still a Glee Christmas awaiting in the wings – has it been a good little glee child or is it sitting atop the naughty list? Shake a jingle bell, and let's rock this biznitch.
After falling out of his chair, Artie makes a wish that he was never in his wheelchair, which prompts him to have a dream of a world where Glee Club never existed – Becky is the school whore, Finn, Puck, Ryder, and Sam continue to bully a held back Kurt, who never met Blaine, and Rachel is a librarian in training hiding in the chorus of the local production of The Music Man, while Mr. Schue is miserably married to a faking a pregnancy Terri and Emma married Ken. Determined to defy the images of this world shown to him by guardian angel Rory, Artie brings the members of the glee club together and performs Feliz Navidad which lands with a thud. After being told by Rory that Quinn died following her accident without support from the glee club, Artie gets back in the chair and all is suddenly right with the world.
Burt surprises Kurt in New York for Christmas, but the merry and good cheer is put on hold when Burt reveals that he has prostate cancer, but with an early diagnosis, things are looking bright. Burt's gift to Kurt for the holidays is a surprise visit from Blaine, leading to ice skating and the annual Kurt/Blaine Christmas duet to Irving Berlin's "White Christmas". Burt looks on as Blaine and Kurt continue to reconnect and Blaine explains to Kurt that even if they aren't together, they will continue to be close and there for one another.
The sex shark himself blows back into Lima and invites Jake to experience his world in LA where he's writing a screenplay and networking in the movie business. After duet of a Chanukah classic, Puck's illusion of his world comes to a halt and Jake is right there to give his brother a lift, explaining they should spend the holidays together – with their mothers. After some awkward tension between the mothers de Puckerman, Jake and Puck break the ice and unite their families – Happy Chanukah, indeed! Brittany believes the Mayans were right and the world is going to end on December 21st, and it appears she is not alone – Sam also believes and is determined to make the most of their last days. After insulting their friends via the Mayan Apocalypse Club, Sam sings "Jingle Bell Rock" and presents Brittany with her very own rock – an engagement ring. After being wedded in a ceremony done by Coach Bieste, the two decide to spend their last days together – except, they wake up on December 22nd both alive and still married.
Sue gets Marley's mother in the McKinley High faculty Secret Santa and is completely at a loss what to get her until she overhears Marley and Mrs. Rose discussing their lack of Christmas cheer and how their Christmas will be rather blue to money being spent on helping Marley overcome her eating disorder. After selling the extravagant Christmas tree, Sue surprises the Rose women with gifts, a Christmas tree, and money giving the Rose family a merry and bright Christmas.
Puck decides to stay in Lima to look out for Jake and their moms, while Coach Bieste explains to Sam and Brittany that they're not married, and they seem completely okay with the more time together and the chance to continue to insult and be brutally honest with their friends. Blaine reveals to Kurt and Burt that he plans to apply to NYADA, which Kurt seems quite alright with, and Mrs. Rose reveals to Sue she knows full well that she was behind the scene at the Rose household.
To thank Sue for what she did for her and her mother, Marley orchestrates a performance of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" with a beautiful holiday scene and snow, while the rest of the New Directions both old and new ring in the holidays in their various ways.
May your days be merry, bright, and full of Glee, gleeks! Happy Holidays and we'll see you in 2013!
From This Author Robert Lawlor